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Amae: Sweet Interdependence. Japanese Communication Strategies Beyond Language. “The Japanese Can’t Say No”. Taken From Dave Barry Does Japan Beth: …and then we want to take a plane from Point A to Point B Travel Agent: I see. You want to take a plane? Beth: Yes.
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Amae: Sweet Interdependence Japanese Communication Strategies Beyond Language
“The Japanese Can’t Say No” Taken From Dave Barry Does Japan Beth: …and then we want to take a plane from Point A to Point B Travel Agent: I see. You want to take a plane? Beth: Yes. Travel Agent: From Point A? Beth: Yes. Travel Agent: To Point B? Beth: Yes. Travel Agent: Ah.
Dave Barry Continued… Beth: Can’t we do that? Travel Agent: Perhaps you would prefer to take a train. Beth: No, we would prefer to take a plane. Travel Agent: Ah-hah. You would prefer to take a plane? Beth: Yes. A plane. Travel Agent: I see. From Point A? …
What’s the problem? • There is no plane! • Different communicative strategies: • Independent (American) • Interdependent (Japanese)
Amae • “Sweetness” or “Dependence” • Mother-child relationship? • Dependence on someone • Need to be depended on • Social Interdependence
Enryô • Modesty and restraint in behavior; indirectness • “Can’t say NO” • Downplaying abilities/qualities of self or relatives • Refusal to take things that are desired • Speaker depends on listener to interpret the message
Sasshi • “Guesswork”; understanding of the unsaid • “sore wa chotto” = no • “amari jôzu ja arimasen” = might be quite capable • “kangaemasu” (“I’ll think about it”) = probably not • Listener depends on speaker to give adequate clues
Independence vs. Interdependence • Independent behavior: • “Mind your own business” • “Say what you mean” • Individual needs come first • You are defined by how you define yourself • Interdependent behavior: • “What might he/she like me to do? (sasshi) • “I should not emphasize anything about myself that would make me different from others” (enryô) • Group needs come first • You are defined according to your relationships
“Sumimasen” • Excuse me, sorry, thank you, etc… • Independent thinking: • You apologize for doing something wrong, taking responsibility for your actions • Interdependent thinking: • You apologize if you believe you have upset the group (interdependent) dynamic • Does not necessarily imply that you did something wrong, or are taking responsibility for actions
“Monku” (Complaining) • Independent thinking: • If it’s unfair, you should speak up • Interdependent thinking: • It’s better to endure (“gaman suru”) personal unfairness rather than disrupt the group
Further Reading • Bachnik, Jane, and Quinn, Charles. Situated Meaning: Inside and Outside the Japanese Self, Society, and Language. Princeton: Princeton UP, 1994. • Barry, Dave. Dave Barry Does Japan. New York: Fawcett Columbine, 1992. • Doi, Takeo. The Anatomy of Dependence. Trans. John Bester. Tokyo: Kôdansha International, 1981. • Lebra, Takie Sugiyama. Japanese Patterns of Behavior. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press, 1976. • Yamada, Haru. Different Games, Different Rules: Why Americans and Japanese Misunderstand Each Other. New York: Oxford University Press, 1997. • “Young Japan.” Time Magazine Special Double Issue. May 3-10, 1999: 20-57.