GHSWT Prep Session

GHSWT Prep Session Writing a Persuasive Essay

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT GHSWT: • You will have 90 minutes to complete the test. • You can write a maximum of two pages. • You must use a pen with blue or black ink. • You may not use white-out. • You may not use dictionaries. • You must not have out a cell phone. • You may take the test more than once. • If you do not pass the GHSWT, • YOU WILL NOT GET A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

The GHSWT instructions will be presented in this form: Writing Situation Over the past fifty years, our country has spent billions of dollars to fund the U.S. space program. Critics who feel that this money could be better spent are pressuring the government to cease funding for space exploration. Directions for Writing Write a letter to your congressional representative explaining your position on the issue of continued funding of the space program. Include reasons and evidence that will convince your readers to support your position.

Scoring Domains of the GHSWT • Ideas: 40% • support, depth, relevant facts, persuasive writing • Organization: 20% • sequence, multi-paragraph, transitions, thesis statement • in introduction • Style: 20% • word choice, audience awareness, sentence variety • (different types and lengths) • Conventions: 20% • sentence formation, usage, mechanics (spelling, • capitalization, punctuation)

Let’s score some sample papers.

Ideas Score: 2 Controlling idea is minimally developed. Supporting ideas are relevant, but developed with few examples and details. Not enough information for sense of completeness. Organization Score: 2 Minimal control of organization. Ineffective introduction / does not relate back to assigned topic and persuasive purpose. Some evidence of grouping and sequencing. Few transitions. Conclusion’s effectiveness is limited by its brevity. Style Score: 1 Word choice often incorrect, imprecise, or confusing. Writer does not control language effectively. Tone is flat. Voice is not apparent. Too few correct sentences to determine variety. Conventions Score: 1 Most sentences unclear. Frequent, severe errors in usage. Little internal punctuation. Numerous misspellings. Errors often obscure meaning. Performance Level: Does Not Meet the Standard

Ideas Score: 3 The controlling idea (knowledge of space is useful, but the world is facing more pressing issues that need funding) is established through relevant supporting ideas (people are starving, alternative energy sources are needed, and the solar system could be explored at a later date). Development of supporting ideas is somewhat uneven. Writer incorporates specific details about Ethiopia into paragraph two, but development in paragraph three is quite listy (How about pricription medicine? Or welfare, college funds, medicare Lets buid more jobs so less people have to go hungry). Overall, there is enough information to provide a sense of completeness. Organization Score: 3 Writer acknowledges a counterpoint in introduction (Don’t get me wrong the knowlage we have of space and our solar system is very helpful), which is addressed in body of paper. This approach is appropriate for the assigned topic and persuasive purpose. Groups related ideas about helping hungry and finding alternative energy sources. Evidence of grouping less clear in paragraph four: Each is simply identified as a social problem. Clear sequence of ideas throughout paper. Some transitions link ideas across parts of the paper (“Although this is a very important problem that were facing in the world today it’s not the only one” and “I mean besides space”). Conclusion, which begins on page two (“I hope you take to mind”)provides closure.

Style Score: 4 Word choice is consistently engaging (people of these countries have been crying out for a helping hand for such a long time and every day a soul is lost due to starvation. This language helps create a concerned tone that is appropriate for persuasive writing. The writer’s voice is clear and appropriate throughout the response (I’ve done some research, Don’t get me wrong, and I mean besides space). The writer uses rhetorical questions effectively to engage the audience (When are we going to answer?). Overall, the writer demonstrates consistent control of the components of style. Conventions Score: 3 The majority of sentences in the paper are formed correctly, including some compound and complex sentences. There are also some overloaded sentences (e.g., last sentence in paragraph two) and run-ons (e.g., first sentence in paragraph four). There are few usage errors (are gonna be here). Missing internal punctuation (were facing, Lets, and missing commas), and there are misspellings as well (knowlage, pricription, medincine, and buid). Overall, the writer demonstrates sufficient control of the elements of conventions. Performance Level: Meets the Standard

Ideas Score: 4 The writer is consistently focused on the assigned topic and persuasive purpose. The controlling idea (Some of the excessive funds to the space program could have been better used) is well developed with relevant supporting ideas (help hurricane victims; improve schools; space travel is dangerous). The writer elaborates these supporting ideas with specific examples and details (after the devastating hurricanes hit the Gulf Coast last year, we could have used that extra money to help with the rebuilding processes and when the Challenger shuttle exploded upon re-entry … all of the astronauts inside lost their lives). Although the supporting ideas are not fully developed, the response does contain complete information that addresses reader concerns (why should some of the money reserved for space exploration be reallocated?). Organization Score: 4 Organizing strategy (acknowledge the benefits of space travel, highlight other areas that need funding, and then propose a funding compromise) is appropriate to persuasive purpose. Related ideas – helping hurricane victims, improving schools, and documenting dangers of space travel – are grouped, and ideas within these paragraphs build logically on one another. Several effective transitions connecting ideas (In my opinion, Of course, and I am not suggesting). Brief conclusion contains some repetition. Overall, the writer demonstrates consistent control of the components of organization.

Style Score: 5 Several carefully crafted phrases (e.g., ―In addition to these breakthroughs, our knowledge of the solar system has greatly improved since we first ventured outside our atmosphere) help create a thoughtful, academic tone and voice. The writer uses a variety of sentence lengths and structures. Overall, a full command of the components of style keeps the audience engaged throughout the response. Conventions Score: 5 The writer demonstrates a full command of simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences with correct punctuation. Even in the more complex structures, clarity of sentence meaning is consistent (For example, after the devastating hurricanes hit the Gulf Coast last year, we could have used that extra money to help with the rebuilding process and to support victims instead of asking other countries for help). The elements of usage and mechanics are correct in a variety of contexts. Performance Level: Exceeds the Standard

So how do you write a paper that meets or exceeds the standards?

How to Build a Persuasive Essay What I Believe A Persuasive Essay Should • Clearly state the issue and your • position in the introduction • Target the audience • Support with facts, statistics, • examples, or anecdotes • Address possible objections to • your position • Show clear reasoning • Conclude with a summary of • position or call to action Opinion or Belief Why I Believe It Supporting Evidence Supporting Evidence Supporting Evidence Summary of Opinion Call to Action

Analyzing Your Approach After reading the Writing Situation and Directions for Writing, take the following steps: Form: Figure out what you are supposed to write. Example: a letter or an essay Topic: Read the writing situation to determine and clarify the topic you are to address. Example: Should students be required to wear uniforms to school? Audience: Determine your audience and how to address that audience. Example: the high school principal - Dear Mr. Green: (Always use a formal tone, no matter who the audience.) Purpose: The purpose of this test is to persuade, so decide which side you will take. Example: Students should be required to wear uniforms to school.

Planning Your Essay • Create a clear thesis statement. Example: Students should not be required to wear uniforms to school. Come up with three reasons to support your feelings on the topic. Example: stifling of individuality, cost too much money, and will increase discipline problems • Decide which reason to talk about first, second, and third. Order the reasons from least important to most important. Example: cost too much money, stifling of individuality, and increased discipline problems

Simple Prewriting Techniques • Jot list • Organizer

Creating a Jot List • Thesis: Students should not be required to wear uniforms to school. • Reason #1: Reason #2 • - Detail - Detail • - Detail - Detail • - Detail - Detail • Reason #3: Conclusion • - Detail - Detail • - Detail - Detail • - Detail - Detail

Create an Organizer

Practice Time: Writing Situation: Because your school board wants students to be prepared for the modern work place, they are considering the purchase of laptops for every student. Of course, this is an expensive proposition, and the board is not certain that the benefits will outweigh the cost. As part of their data-gathering, board members have asked teachers to assess their students’ views regarding the proposal. Directions for Writing: Write a letter to your teacher discussing whether or not school systems should purchase laptops for each student. Using a jot list or organizer, plan the main points of your essay.

Introductory Paragraph – Read the following introduction and identify the thesis statement: When was the last time you spent a day without coming into contact with a computer-related device? You wake up in a climate-controlled room regulated by a pre-set computerized thermostat. The tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air because last night you programmed your Mr. Coffee to perk precisely thirty minutes before your alarm clock shrilly rang brrringbrrring at 6:05 a.m. You hit a button on your home computer, and instantaneously you see the temperature and weather conditions, traffic patterns, scheduled activities, and email correspondences for the day. You may even download and print out your lessons! Later, you plan to enter your students’ attendance and grades into a computer at school. For you, as for your students, the computer has become an integral part of life. Consequently, a wireless laptop for every student is as vital as a number 2 pencil. Students must have this valuable resource as part of their school supplies because it will cut educational costs, provide valuable career training, and motivate today’s multi-sensory, visually-oriented, global student.

Introductory Paragraph When was the last time you spent a day without coming into contact with a computer-related device? You wake up in a climate-controlled room regulated by a pre-set computerized thermostat. The tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air because last night you programmed your Mr. Coffee to perk precisely thirty minutes before your alarm clock shrilly rang brrringbrrring at 6:05 a.m. You hit a button on your home computer, and instantaneously you see the temperature and weather conditions, traffic patterns, scheduled activities, and email correspondences for the day. You may even download and print out your lessons! Later, you plan to enter your students’ attendance and grades into a computer at school. For you, as for your students, the computer has become an integral part of life. Consequently, a wireless laptop for every student is as vital as a number 2 pencil. Students must have this valuable resource as part of their school supplies because it will cut educational costs, provide valuable career training, and motivate today’s multi-sensory, visually-oriented, global student. [THESIS STATEMENT]

Body Paragraph #1 Admittedly, buying a laptop for every student will require a good deal of money. Our school alone has 1,500 students, and the initial outlay for laptops will be roughly $45,000. And we are just one of many schools in the county. Those who oppose the idea argue that the school system simply cannot afford such a purchase, but they are not considering the fact that student laptops will actually save money in the long run. How can such an expenditure lead to financial savings? For one thing, schools could purchase online textbooks rather than having to replace outdated or lost materials. Not only can these texts be updated in a matter of minutes, but they can also be translated into several languages using Babelfish for ELL students. Furthermore, laptops will produce tremendous savings in paper, toner, and copy costs because students will be able to complete their assignments via computer rather than hardcopy handouts, worksheets, and tests. In spite of the initial outlay of funds for student laptops, the purchase will prove to be cost-effective in the long run.

Body Paragraph #2 The most compelling reason for purchasing individual laptops is that they will help students to become better prepared for the future. A recent survey of U.S. employers indicates that employees will need above all else to have problem-solving and computer skills. What better way can students acquire those skills than to have access to a computer throughout the school day? Laptops will enable students to seek answers to questions, to solve problems, to conduct research, to work at their own paces, to direct the course of their own education. In addition, students will have more opportunities to practice computer skills, to create documents, and to communicate with each other about their lessons. As previously mentioned, students will get immediate feedback when they do not understand a concept, so teachers will be able to provide individual assistance to students who need further explanation while other students continue to work individually. How can one place a price on such invaluable skills as these?

Concluding paragraph As one can see, a laptop computer is a vital tool in education today. Having a laptop in the hands of our high school students not only prepares them for a career and life, but it also motivates them to focus on their learning. Although the initial investment may be costly, the purchase of laptops will ultimately prove to be cost-effective. No student preparing to be a productive member of our technological society should be without one. What would schools be like if students had the world at their fingertips through the use of this compact technology? Addressing the opposing argument Clincher sentence

GHSWT Prep Session