PILOT OR PASSENGER ERROR?

1. PILOT OR PASSENGERERROR?

2. “Last boarding call, at gate 15, for Air Canuck Flight number 369, destination Winnipeg,” blasted over the P.A system. “Ahhhhhh!!!” my sister screamed. My dad, mom, two sisters and I, started doing the 100m sprint headed for gate 15, looking like the Jamaican track team led by Usain Bolt. We got to the gate as the attendant reached out to close the door. At this point we all regretted wearing noise cancelling head phones in the terminal while using our latest and greatest techno gadgets. I’m pretty sure that caused us to miss a few important announcements. LUCKILY my sister took hers off because they were messing up her hair and she heard that final call. Between wheezing, coughing and begging (pant) “Plea….se…flight,” (gasp) “Tickets,” (gasp) “…Winnipeg…family vacation,” we convinced the attendant to let us through. I decided that she took pity on us by thesmirkon her face. I am sure we are not the first travelers to miss public announcements. The only seats left on the plane were spread out far away from each other, so we pulled straws to see who would get the first class seat. I won. Smiling from ear to ear and not feeling guilty at all that I should have offered my seat to my mom or dad, I quickly became annoyed. I realized that I would have to listen to the flight attendant ramble on for hours about the safety precautions for flying on a plane. I decided that instead of listening to this for the billionth time, I would play on my tablet and to be nice to those around me I put my headphones back on.

3. -What seemed like 20 minutes later- I looked up to see the flight attendant looking very serious so I decided to listen. “−−−−− use your electronic devices during critical phases of flight.” This was sorefreshingto hear because most adults are usually yelling “Put that electronic device away!!” So I did what she said and started to play the game, Flight Control, which simulates flying a plane on my tablet. As I began, I felt the familiar shake of my seat and the thrust backwards pressing my body into the back rest. I knew the aircraft was taking off. And so was my virtual plane. -Shortly after take off- A conversation took place in the cockpit. “Hey, did you change our heading?” Captain Wilson firmly asked. “The air traffic control center told us to be on heading 090, we are on heading 190!” he added. “No Captain, I did not touch it.” replied First Officer Cruise. “Why is our altitude alerter going off then?” the Captain said even more alarmingly. “We also just climbed 2000 ft sir!” said First Officer Cruise. “Well change it back!” Captain Wilson replied firmly! “And get back on our cleared altitude.”

4. Back in first class, I realized I had to go to the washroom, so I paused my simulated flight game and put my tablet in the pocket of the seat in front of me. I decided to use the bathrooms at the back of the plane so I could walk around the cabin and see where my family was sitting. Back in the cockpit the pilots were scratching their heads wondering why everything all of a sudden went back to normal. They both looked at each other accusingly? But left the unexplained mystery unsolved. Returning to my seat, I stopped by to tell my dad about my new flight simulator app. “That’s awesome Jamie! Pretty soon you will have to be thinking about a career path and maybe you will become a pilotlike me!” my dad said proudly. My dad pointed that the seat belt sign just flickered on and I needed to return to my seat as we were soon going to be descending to our destination. The flight attendant stepped forward to make an announcement “The Captain has requested everyone return to their seats, put their chairs in the up right positions and fasten their seat belts.” Retrieving my tablet, I was anxious to see just what this app could make a virtual aircraft do.

5. A loop-de-loop and a spiral roll came to mind. As I was playing with the thrust, drag, pitch and yaw I happened to notice our real aircraft all of a sudden hitting some crazy turbulence. The plane shook and was tossed around in the air like a boat in high seas. Terror immediately fell amongst everyone on the plane. As I looked up, my thumbs lifted off the screen and coincidently the plane leveled off. Captain Wilson immediately came on the P.A system. “Good afternoon folks, we are just experiencing some non-forecasted turbulence. First Officer Cruise and I apologize for the discomfort, but we have everything under control.” Not worrying about his problem, since the captain is a professional, I had my own agenda to get back to. I had failed my last attempt to make my simulated plane actually completely roll over. I was determined to make it happen. I discovered tilting and turning the tablet, acted like aircraft rudder pedals and a yoke. It was at this moment when my simulated aircraft was pitched at a 60 degree bank turn that I realized, so was the 350,000lb, 200 passenger airline that I was on.

6. “DAD!!” Recognizing my voice, my father’s head popped up over his seat. “Dad, I am in control of this aircraft!” “Oh my gosh, Jamie didn’t you hear the flight attendant say NO electronics during critical phases of flight!” “WHAT! I heard USE your electronics!” I screamed. “You’ve over-ridden the avionics in the cockpit Jamie! Give me that tablet so I can fix this problem.” “Can you pass this tablet to the man sitting in seat 47D.” My tablet passed over the passenger’s heads like it was crowd surfing at a concert. Luckily my dad saved the day, he landed the plane safely with my simulator app, and my family deplaned like bulls charginga matador with a red cape, before Captain Wilson and First Officer Cruise could figure out what happened during Flight 369. The End

7. Gate Attendant Geez! How many times a day do I see rude passengers like this family not listening to public announcements, that are applicable to them? Everyone just keeps counting on ME to put on a smile, break the rules and let them in. Just keep smiling Susanne, your shift is almost over and then you can go home and get into a warm bubble bath and relax.

8. Flight Attendant I knew it! I just knew it! There is always at least one passenger on every flight that ignores me during my aircraft safety announcement. There she is in 10B. Surprise! Surprise! A young teenager, head down, head phones on, playing on some electronic device not even trying to hide the fact that she’s not listening to important information. How rude! Hope our flight is uneventful so that she doesn’t need to know what she now doesn’t know. Next time, I will bring out the bullhorn!

9. Jamie’s Dad Yes! Finally, one of my daughters is going to follow in my foot steps. Oh I can see it now, dressed in her uniform, all spiffed up, at her graduation and I pin her wings on her chest as she gets her pilots license. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. I am one proud papa.

10. Captain Wilson Wow! What the heck just happened? The aircraft was almost acting like it had a mind of its own. Good thing passengers accept turbulence as an excuse for any sudden shaking and jolting. Everything is completely unexplainable but I’ll bet that rookie sitting beside me had something to do with it. Rumour has it, he barely past his check ride, so I will have to keep a close eye on him. Who knows what else he will mess up?

11. First Officer Cruise OH MY GOSH, has this Captain lost his marbles. I have no clue what is happening to this aircraft. But my vote is that the geezer next to me had something to do with it. He might have 30 years flying experience but that also means aging eyes, loss of hearing and memory problems. I wonder if he can even remember what all these buttons do. I have one word for him…RETIRE!

12. Jamie Hmmm? Didn’t the pilots say we hit turbulence? Isn’t turbulence caused by cumulonimbus clouds and bad weather? That’s odd? There is clear, blue sky out every one of these windows! It makes me wonder about that weird shaking and jolting and if the pilots actually know what they’re doing? One pilot looked ancient and the other one inexperienced!

13. 10A Passenger Ah-ha!!!! I suspected that teenager sitting next to me was up to no-good. In my day, we didn’t have any fancy electronic devices, so whatever she’s done never would have happened!

14. Flight Attendant (Whooosh) Wow! Holy, bowl everyone out of your way. What’s the rush people! I didn’t even get to tell them thanks for Connecting with Canuck Airline. They were deplaned, gone and left a path of pushed out of the way, confused fellow passengers. It’s almost as if they were guilty of something and trying to make a get away.

15. Captain Wilson Is it just me or did this plane just land itself? I didn’t see that rookie touch any controls either. He looks just as confused as I do. Maybe even a bit white like a ghost and his hands are trembling. I am getting too old for this job. I think I’ve been flying for too long. Maybe I’ll retire…SOON

16. Jamie Huh! You don’t hear this every day, an adult granting permission to use electronics.

17. The Cockpit