Overcoming Procrastination

OvercomingProcrastination Presented by the Lawyers Assistance Program April 23rd 2010 Facilitated by Robert Bircher

Understanding Procrastination • I believe the first step in overcoming procrastination is understanding the dynamics of your own relationship with it • Simply viewing it as a “bad habit to be shunned and gotten rid of” usually guarantees its perpetuity in your life-if this worked almost no one would procrastinate • In fact having a negative view of your procrastination may actually be part of the syndrome • There are intra-psychic (internal thinking) and inter-psychic (involving others) elements

Understanding Procrastination • What is procrastinating? Most people would define it as “not doing what they should be doing in a timely manner” or “putting tasks off to the last possible minute” • Theoretically, it is not possible to procrastinate since there are an infinite number of things you could be working on. • You could be doing nothing, something more important or something less important.

Understanding Procrastination • What do you procrastinate? Probably not things you like to do. • Also what is wrong with prioritizing? Is doing nothing/taking it easy bad? • If you procrastinate unimportant things to do more important things is this actually a problem? • For some people, that have a clear purpose and values in life procrastination is valuable and necessary to achieve a goal-for example a friend of mine dropped almost everything in his life for several years to win a gold medal at the Olympics • For some people over-commitment is an issue and they need to procrastinate more i.e. their problem is lack of clarity of what is most important in life

Understanding Procrastination • For some the real problem is indecisiveness-inability to make decisions • For many it is faulty internal thinking • For lawyers procrastination can be a huge problem-and can result in damage to career, reputation and clients. Paradoxically, it is worse in lawyers that are busy and successful-they have a lot more to put off!! • There are simple reasons and deep psychological reasons for it-it is learned behavior which means you probably learned it in your family of origin and can therefore unlearn it • Lets do the Understanding Procrastination Discussion Questions exercise

Benefits of Procrastination • In one sense the explanation for procrastination is the same for everyone -the benefits of doing it outweigh the disadvantages! • Many people have trouble understanding this –they see no benefits, but in fact there are many-not seeing them is a trick our mind plays on us • The benefits may be –I can avoid doing something unpleasant or tedious or I can avoid feeling upset or fearful

Benefits of Procrastination • I can do brainless or easy things like watch TV, it's fun and very, very safe to do nothing (how can you fail at watching TV?)I can be a prince or princess who is special and doesn’t have to do hard work, I get to be passive and helpless, (maybe someone else will do it) I don’t have to risk appearing foolish, in fact I don’t have to take any risk at all!

Procrastination Profile • Everyone has a unique profile of what things they tend to procrastinate and there is often a theme running through them • I procrastinate anything I judge to be tedious or dislike-I hate math so income tax or accounting is something I am guaranteed to procrastinate-I never procrastinate things I like –my dance or art classes for example • Legal examples would be procrastinating files where I don’t like the client or opposing counsel or I am not likely to be paid in full • What themes do you notice? ie You procrastinate files where you are unlikely to be paid • Lets do My Procrastination Profile now

What am I Procrastinating? • We can divide our procrastinating into “Big Time” or “Small Time” • Small Time -refers to things that are a minor factor in our lives (mowing the lawn, cleaning the car etc.)-it won’t really make much difference in your life one way or the other • Big Time-refers to things that if you did them it would make a big difference in your life (changing jobs, getting in/out of a relationship, losing weight/getting fit, moving etc) • Lets complete the “What am I Procrastinating” form now

Procrastination Test • The Burns test will be helpful to identify what cognitive distortions fuel your procrastination-lets do it now! • The most common causes are internal cognitions that delay or justify inaction-they are errors in thinking • After the test read ‘Why People Procrastinate?” in the areas where you scored 3 or more-if you scored 5 or 6 your core belief here has cognitive distortions in it • After you do the test you will know the areas you need to work on-everyone is different

Cognitive Behavioral Approaches to Procrastination • Look at your scores on the procrastination test-you need to work on the areas where your score is a 4, 5 or 6 (otherwise work on the highest score) • What these high scores mean is that you have a belief system (or cluster of thoughts and feelings) that creates (manifests as) procrastination-until you change your thinking the procrastination is inevitable-beating up on yourself will not change your thinking • How do you change your mind?-basically through cognitive behavioral methods

CBT-and Procrastination • Recognizing your cognitive distortions and changing your mind is critical to ending procrastination • WARNING-These old thought patterns and will resist change vigorously!! • Changing your story about any of these reduces procrastination automatically-Example-if I believe I must do something then I will get in the mood for it- rather than the other way around I have just multiplied my chances of doing it many fold • If you have done the procrastination test and score a 5 or 6 in any of these-you will probably only end your procrastination when you change your mind set • Your mind usually doesn’t like changing cherished beliefs so EXPECT DELAYS!

Top 10 Cognitive Distortions • Putting the cart before the horse -another way of saying this is believing you need to feel like it first or “I’m not in the mood for it”-the problem is you will never be in the mood to do boring or unpleasant tasks. • Motivation comes after action • You must start doing something to become motivated to do it-Action begets Motivation! • Do it then feel like it- is a better way of thinking it

Mastery Model • This is the belief that things are achieved without frustration, self doubt and failure • This is quitting even after the smallest setback or problem • If you expect problems, when they inevitably happen you are not surprised • The remedy is the belief that “nothing is as easy as it looks-everything takes longer than you think”-or Murphy's law- “if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong-and at the worst possible moment” and that’s OK • See also #10 lack of desire if you are climbing the ladder of success and it is up against the wrong wall, procrastination is a symptom not a problem

Fear of Failure • People who procrastinate think they are “lazy” or “irresponsible” -most lawyers are the opposite-success is so important that rather than risk failure you do nothing at all • You can’t fail watching TV!!-which is why it is such a great time waster • If your self esteem is hooked to your accomplishments when you fail at work you fail as a person-the stakes are too high so you avoid doing anything that might not work out • Dancing lessons/A new job –better not try that –I might look foolish-you may find yourself unwilling to try new things due fear of failure

Perfectionism • Probably the most insidious and common cause of procrastination in lawyers-we will devote more time to it later • The belief that that we should always try and do things perfectly is a common family value-especially in the families of many lawyers-unfortunately this belief has a very dark side to it • It becomes manifested as “If I can’t do this well (read perfectly) I won’t do it at all" since few things turn out perfectly it means a lot doesn’t get done-since I can’t do it perfectly!

Perfectionism • One of the problems with perfectionism is that the culture sees it as a good, even a desirable thing-when in fact it is actually an unhealthy neurosis-addictive, habitual and difficult to stop • People believe it motivates them to produce more or better and without this many believe they would become ineffective, lazy or useless • See the materials on Perfectionism vs. The Healthy Pursuit of Excellence –one theme is that in pursuing excellence you are motivated by desire and enthusiasm rather than fear

Lack of Rewards • If you believe nothing you ever do is good enough, life becomes a joyless treadmill. If you set yourself up so that you “never make it” in your own eyes there is little incentive to carry on • Procrastinators are great at discounting the value of what they do • A feeling of excitement, reward and satisfaction is a great motivating force-if you allow yourself to experience it! • If you feel you can never do anything good enough-why bother to try?

Should Statements • I should do x,I ought to get going on that. These types of statements will make you guilty and resentful • The guilt and resentment can actually prevent you from doing it • Better to use “I could” or “I choose to” or “choose not to” or “It would be to my advantage to” this avoids the negativity and is in fact more accurate • Who on earth says you “should’ clean your desk? Do you actually want to?

Passive Aggressiveness • This is about a fear of direct expression of negative feelings. It is being annoyed or angry with someone but pushing it down, or not showing it since you believe it is not nice to be angry • The anger usually oozes out indirectly-you “forget” to return a call, you show up late or “forget the appointment”, you “forget” to do something because you are annoyed with the person. In lawyers this shows up by delaying or not answering calls of clients/lawyers you don’t like-failing to answer a law society letter-failing to file tax forms etc.

Unassertiveness • This is about saying yes when you really meant to say no-a fear of saying no to someone-like a client or superior • You may believe you should meet others expectations and base too much of your self esteem on what others think of you • Poor boundaries, fear that by setting a boundary people won’t like you-you may be terrified of disapproval or criticism so you say “yes I will help you move on Saturday”-when Saturday comes you look for excuses not to do it

Coercion Sensitivity • You may procrastinate because you feel pushed into doing something you don’t want to do. Your inner rebel becomes activated • If this is the case the procrastination is an indirect way of expressing your annoyance with the person who is nagging you

Lack of Desire • This may seem obvious but it is very very subtle-it is the most common cause of procrastination-you simply don’t want to do what you are putting off • Rather than admit this you may think “I am a lazy procrastinator” rather than simply saying I don’t want to do it. • This is related to “should” statements

Lack of Desire • It may be not a high priority, it may not be wise to do it, it may be the wrong path entirely, even though others may think it is a great goal • The reality may be your procrastination may be a healthy response you need to listen to • Some lawyers have an attitude that “it has to be hard to be good”-”if I am miserable this is good because I am suffering my way to greatness” • Or “anything worthwhile requires hard work and effort-fun isn’t part of it”

Lack of Desire • The problem with these ideas is that it shuts off/dismisses feedback from your unconscious-you are climbing the ladder of success but your ladder is up against the wrong wall • This the case with some lawyers who are so determined to suffer they don’t seek what they would love to do • For these people a better mantra is “if it ain’t easy its impossible” or “go with the flow of life not against it” most super successful people absolutely love what they do and wouldn’t call it work

Lack of Desire • It is very easy to have someone else's idea of a life!! i.e. Mom, Dad, partner, What the culture wants etc • Laziness and lack of effort are very rare with lawyers-most are overachievers not underachievers-so having your ladder up against the wrong wall and suffering and working very hard to achieve what you don’t want is fairly uncommon • Accordingly sometimes (maybe even often) procrastination is the universe telling you to stop and check to see if this what you really want

The End of Procrastination OK folks this is it!-The magic Bullet! • You end procrastinating not when you do x-you end procrastination when you make a real decision to do it or to not do it (now or ever)or to delegate it Your procrastination about x is over when you make a real decision!!! • Procrastination is actually just a logical decision-if you are honest about the benefits of it!!

What Works • Procrastination is a choice, whether it is a good or bad choice depends on how well you understand your values or priorities and how good a decision maker you are • Beating yourself up, hoping your personality will change, relying on will power or believing you either do it or you are a failure, hoping to cure your “bad habit” won’t work • Knowing what you are likely to procrastinate will work, realizing it is a choice and a decision needs to be made will work, removing cognitive distortions will work (changing how you think about it) Realizing you procrastinate very specific things will work (themes) Realizing you don’t procrastinate everything is helpful

The Benefits of Procrastination • Lets do a cost –benefit analysis of something you are procrastinating • There are many many benefits to procrastination • It is easy, safe and effortless • You can avoid anxiety, do something more fun, avoid risks, avoid tedium etc. • There can be many hidden benefits as revealed by the handout on Why Do People Procrastinate?-revenge, avoiding failure or mediocrity etc.

Procrastination is about Making Choices • Some people actually don’t have a problem with procrastination they actually are poor decision makers-the indecisiveness looks like delaying doing the task • This is so common we will do a whole session on it • Also if you are honest about the costs/benefits to you-you can change your mind and make a different choice

Doing it • If your decision is to do it and it is a good decision -goal setting is helpful-it doesn’t need to be complicated • Step one is to clean up your cognitive distortions (see “why people procrastinate”)-if you are hooked in to any of these you will automatically self sabotage-No amount of goal setting or time management will work unless this has been done • Step two-make a plan and set a goal • A simple goal setting system is SMART goal setting

SMART Goal Setting • Small and Simple-steps need to be easy-grandiosity is deadly here-the way to climb Mount Everest is one step at a time • Measurable-results should be tangible and measurable by anyone-”I want to lose weight” is not a goal it is a wish-I will lose 4 pounds by the end of January is a goal • Achievable-Is this something that is going to happen?-”I am going to run a marathon next month starting from being out of shape” is unrealistic and worse than useless since you have just built in failure and will hurt yourself with the failure

SMART Goal Setting • Rational-is this consistent with your life goals and purpose? Is it important? (one friend of mine says that if it is not going to mentioned in your obituary-it is not important) • Time bound-When are you going to do this? Simply putting down an exact time increases your chances of completion many times over • As you can see making a real decision is a critical part of procrastination some peoples’ problem is not actually procrastination but an inability to be decisive (a separate and also insidious problem)

Deciding Not To Do it • A clean clear decision to do it later or not to do it at all ends procrastination just as effectively as deciding to do it-it is off your plate-the quality of this choice depends on how well you have assessed the costs and benefits-if it is a good choice watching the hockey game is better than cleaning the garage!

Deciding To Delegate It • Making the choice to get someone else to do the task is often a great decision-particularly for tasks you know you will always put off • If you hate cleaning-hire someone who likes cleaning! • For many people their perfectionism manifests as “I have to do everything myself or it won’t be done right” then they proceed to delay endlessly-usually creating more problems

Remedies for Procrastination • As you have seen to reduce or eliminate procrastination a number of things must happen • First of all a decision must be made-Do it-Don’t do it-Get someone else to do it. Any of these choices is the end of procrastination for that item. Unfortunately some people are quite indecisive-a real problem of its own!! • Next -you must have more advantages in carrying out your decision than disadvantages or you won’t follow through-hence the value of a cost benefit analysis • Next- you must be willing to change your mind about whatever is getting in your way-your own stubbornness works against you here!!

5 Steps to End Procrastination • Step 1-Don’t put the cart before the horse-never wait for motivation, Realize deeply if you don’t feel like doing it now you never will!!!Action comes first then motivation-Do it then feel like it • Step 2- Make a plan –Realize deeply you won’t get started “one of these days”-Exactly what time will you do it?-Exactly what will you do first? • Step 3- Make it easy -chop the job into bite sized time parts or bite sized time bits- “I will do it for 15 minutes” or “I will do one easy small step today”

5 Steps To End Procrastination • Step 4-Think rationally-which usually means changing your story -use TIC-TOC techniques or CBT • Step 5-Reward yourself for what you have accomplished-beating yourself up is not helpful and keeps you stuck • In your materials is a worksheet called Make A Plan to be used for this process • Also in your materials is the ProcrastinatorsLog-this is to deal with cognitive distortions and substitute with rational thinking • These forms are designed to subdivide the problem into component parts

Doing aCost Benefit Analysis • A cost benefit exercise is a good way to bring to consciousness why you are procrastinating-it takes the mystery out of it, forces you to look at the truth and removes blame and negative self judgment from the equation • Lets try a cost benefit plus making a decision on one thing you are procrastinating now

Dealing With Cognitive Distortions • Many of the benefits of procrastinating are due to cognitive distortions • To change these to rational beliefs we use the Procrastinators Log • This involves replacing an old belief with a more effective one • If you believe “I must do it perfectly or not at all”-this will obviously create a lot of procrastination in your life

Dealing with Cognitive Distortions • To change a belief you must find which distortions are present (see page 2 of the procrastinators log) • You then need to replace the old belief with a more effective one “I will do the best I can” this takes away a major source of procrastination • Changing your story or narrative about anything is difficult because it is an old mental habit

Completing a Procrastinators Log • Pick an area from your procrastination test which creates problems for you and think of a specific example • For example I have an old belief that “I must be in the right mood to do something like my taxes”-of course in reality land I am never in the right mood for this-thus it is often is procrastinated • The cognitive distortion here is emotional reasoning #7

Procrastinators Log • I can replace this belief with the belief that “ I can do my taxes whether or not I am in the mood for it”-or “I can do something beneficial for myself without feeling like it” • Changing this is not easy but if it is done in writing it is easier • When I catch myself thinking the old familiar thought I switch it over to the new one • Your mind won’t like this at all and usually resists any change-it is in love with its own beliefs

TIC-TOC • This is a Cognitive Behavioral Technique and stands for Task Interfering Cognitions and Task Oriented Cognitions • In other words thinking about things that get in the way of doing things Vs. thinking about things that promote getting things done • Example: your partner wants you to clean the storeroom this weekend-it will take about 2 hours - you have agreed to do it, but you have put it off before • TIC-I work hard all week, why should I have to work on the weekend? It’s such a crappy job-I hate cleaning-This the last thing I want to do this weekend • TOC-s/he will be happy if I do it, nice things happen when s/he is happy. I can do it for 15 minutes and see what happens, I'll just start it etc.

TIC-TOC • Can it be as simple as changing my thinking?-Absolutely yes-it is that simple!! • Your mind will now say “It can’t be that easy, it must be more complicated than that!” Lawyers tend to distrust anything simple-I often say to clients if it was complicated and difficult lawyers would get it quickly!! • Actually there is a complication-it can be very difficult to change your thinking-most people are stubbornly attached to being right about their thoughts-no matter how destructive they are!

Cognitive Distortions • You have been given a tic-toc form to complete and you will notice a column called Distortions-these refer to cognitive distortions which are general errors of thinking • You will see handout describing common cognitive distortions-you can get the general idea from that-we have a full course in CBT which takes several months( Burns group basic) • People who have done CBT are familiar with this and know what to do in this column-those not familiar with this can ignore it for now, or try it based on the handout

Make a Plan • In the materials you will find a anti procrastination plan • This is useful for major things in your life you are procrastinating • It breaks down the task into do-able parts and deals with what thinking will get in the way • Lets pick a big area of procrastination(you have written these down in a prior exercise) and do it now

How to Procrastinate Anything Forever!! • Focus on the whole job, especially the tedium and boredom and how long it will take • Wait till you really feel like it • Beat yourself up about what a lazy ineffective loser you are “ the beatings will continue until my morale improves” • Tell yourself you will get around to it “one of these days” • Always say “It wasn’t good enough” • Rely on self criticism and will power for motivation

Trouble Shooting • Your procrastination has been with you for a while and won’t go quietly into the night after this workshop-in fact it will fight change like a junkyard dog!! • If you are procrastinating it is usually because you are “being right” about some belief you are unwilling to change • There is some advantage in it for you-sometimes it is obvious- sometimes it is subtle and hard to see

Anti-Procrastination Planning • Go back to your procrastination test-bring to mind what story you are telling yourself-what distortion are you buying into? • Remember- your procrastination will end when your mind set changes-otherwise, given what your mind set is, procrastination is the logical choice!! • Changing your mind set is the key-gaining “fluidity in your thinking” is what works. If you stubbornly cling to your old beliefs nothing changes

Overcoming Procrastination