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The tale of the twisted claw-Part III

The tale of the twisted claw-Part III. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm331JAKhZU. Quick Write starter. No ! I’m going to make the wish we should’ve made from the start. I wish …. WITHOUT Imagery “No!” shouted Dougie . “I’m going to make the wish we

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The tale of the twisted claw-Part III

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  1. The tale of the twisted claw-Part III • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm331JAKhZU

  2. Quick Write starter No! I’m going to make the wish we should’ve made from the start. I wish…

  3. WITHOUT Imagery “No!” shouted Dougie. “I’m going to make the wish we should’ve made from the start. We’re sorry we trick-or-treated at Mrs. Clove’s, and we wish it never, ever happened.” The claw glowed in Dougie’s palms and vanished. Relief escaped from Dougie and Kevin. The boys began to smile. The doorbell rang again. Dougie reached for the doorknob. He turned the knob. After what seemed like hours, Dougie began to peek behind the door. As he opened his eyes, Dougie saw his parents. "Mom Dad!” Dougie said. Dougie hugged his mother. "I'm so glad to see you!” he said.

  4. Boring and Bland • Does this sample ending make you sit up and take notice, or are you bored? • Without imagery and figurative language our writing is boring and bland.

  5. WITH Imagery “No!” shouted Dougie. “I’m going to make the wish we should’ve made from the start. We’re sorry we trick-or-treated at Mrs. Clove’s, and we wish it never, ever happened.” The emerald claw glowed in Dougie’s sweaty palms, turned translucent, and vanished. A sigh of relief escaped from Dougie and Kevin simultaneously. The boys began to grin from ear-to-ear, like the Cheshire cat. Unexpectedly, the doorbell rang again. The shrill sound of the bell reverberated through the two-story house and sent chills cartwheeling up and down the boys’ spines.

  6. A billion goose bumps sprang out of their skin. Dougie, his goosebumped arm outstretched, reached a hesitating hand toward the brass doorknob. He closed his hand around the smooth handle. Slowly, he turned the icy knob, slammed his eyes shut, and let out a whimper. After what seemed like hours, Dougie began to peek at the mystery behind the door. As he uncertainly opened his eyes, Dougie saw the image of his parents come “Mom! Dad!” Dougie shrieked with excitement. Dougie wrapped his arms around his mother, relieved. He squeezed her tightly, savoring the scent of her perfume—a mixture of strawberry “I’m so glad to see you!” he sang.

  7. Spicy and exciting • What do you notice about this sample ending? Does it make you sit up and take notice? Why?

  8. Sensory details are spicy • Take a paper from the middle of your table and use the key on the board to highlightthe different senses used in this ending.

  9. WITHImagery-Sound “No!” shoutedDougie. “I’m going to make the wish we should’ve made from the start. We’re sorry we trick-or-treated at Mrs. Clove’s, and we wish it never, ever happened.” The emerald claw glowed in Dougie’s sweaty palms, turned translucent, and vanished. A sigh of relief escaped from Dougie and Kevin simultaneously. The boys began to grin from ear-to-ear, like the Cheshire cat. Unexpectedly, the doorbell rang again. The shrill sound of the bell reverberated through the two-story house and sent chills cartwheeling up and down the boys’ spines.

  10. A billion goose bumps sprang out of their skin. Dougie, his goosebumped arm outstretched, reached a hesitating hand toward the brass doorknob. He closed his hand around the smooth handle. Slowly, he turned the icy knob, slammed his eyes shut, and let out a whimper. After what seemed like hours, Dougie began to peek at the mystery behind the door. As he uncertainly opened his eyes, Dougie saw the image of his parents come “Mom! Dad!” Dougieshrieked with excitement. Dougie wrapped his arms around his mother, relieved. He squeezed her tightly, savoring the scent of her perfume—a mixture of strawberry “I’m so glad to see you!” he sang.

  11. WITHImagery “No!” shoutedDougie. “I’m going to make the wish we should’ve made from the start. We’re sorry we trick-or-treated at Mrs. Clove’s, and we wish it never, ever happened.” The emerald claw glowed in Dougie’ssweaty palms, turned translucent, and vanished. A sigh of relief escaped from Dougie and Kevin simultaneously. The boys began to grin from ear-to-ear, like the Cheshire cat. Unexpectedly, the doorbell rang again. The shrill sound of the bell reverberated through the two-story house and sent chills cartwheeling up and down the boys’ spines.

  12. A billion goose bumps sprang out of their skin. Dougie, his goosebumped arm outstretched, reached a hesitating hand toward the brass doorknob. He closed his hand around the smooth handle. Slowly, he turned the icy knob, slammed his eyes shut, and let out a whimper. After what seemed like hours, Dougie began to peek at the mystery behind the door. As he uncertainly opened his eyes, Dougie saw the image of his parents come “Mom! Dad!” Dougieshrieked with excitement. Dougiewrapped his arms around his mother, relieved. He squeezed her tightly, savoring the scent of her perfume—a mixture of strawberry “I’m so glad to see you!” he sang.

  13. Expanded MomentTake a moment that you would ordinarily speed past, and develop it fully to give your reader more details, to make that moment more life-like. Preparation: Write descriptive words for how a pillow feels – i.e. fluffy, puffy, billowy, cushiony, etc. Activity: What other imagery words can you add. Write down 5 words that describe the feeling of mud. Share and list on the board. Follow-up: How do the words convey the feeling of things.

  14. Expanded Moment Preparation: Write words that evoke smells – i.e. popcorn, brownies, roses. Activity: Have students list other words that describe pleasant smells. Then have them list words to describe unpleasant smells (sour milk, garbage, rotten eggs, etc.) Follow-up: Talk about how words can describe specific smells.

  15. Example of expanded moment “I watch Georgia run through Thompson Park… I am out of breath when I finally catch up with her. I run my hand along her back, soft as a feather pillow. I pat her heaving sides and scratch her ears, but she hardly acknowledges my presence. I command her to sit, and she does so, but her mind is elsewhere. Her ears twitch as she tunes in to the sounds that I cannot hear. Georgia strains to catch the slightest whisper in the air. Her pink tongue pulses from her lips. Her dark, almond-shaped eyes… are fixed on something small and brown. And then suddenly she is off, lickety-split, on another wild goose chase.” (At the Park with Georgia)

  16. Dog at the park • Sight: • pink tongue, dark, almond-shaped eyes, small & brown animals, twitching ears • Touch: • soft fur, heaving sides • Smell: • soft wind blowing • Taste: • Sound: • high-pitched sounds only dogs can hear

  17. Your turn… • Close your eyes. • Pretend you are in a boring language arts class and are daydreaming of someplace else you’d rather be. Become aware of your surroundings.  • List your senses, then write an expanded moment using these senses. First list your senses….. • Sight: • Touch: • Smell: • Taste: • Sound: Then, use your imagination…. 

  18. YOUR TURN TO SPICE UP YOUR WRITING! • HOMEWORK: • Type up your Spiced Up Writing for tomorrow!

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