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SHAME

SHAME. Legitimate sin = Legitimate shame

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SHAME

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  1. SHAME

  2. Legitimate sin = Legitimate shame “Shame should bring us to humility, not to humiliation. In its proper function, it serves to remind us that we are not self-sufficient, that because of our weakness in the face of temptations, we need to rely on Someone greater than ourselves to live well.” Chuck Swindoll

  3. Definition of Shame Toxic unwantedness(Shame: theory, therapy, theology By Stephen Pattison )

  4. How does shame feel? Guilt is when we have done something wrong. Vs. Shame is when we are something wrong.

  5. Shame flourishes in the darkness of secrets and hidden places.

  6. The way out of shame is to come out of hiding.

  7. Thoughts excessively shamed people defend against: • I am defective (damaged, broken, a mistake, flawed) • I am dirty ( soiled, ugly, unclean, impure, filth, disgusting) • I am incompetent (not good enough, inept, ineffectual) • I am useless (worthless)

  8. I am unwanted ( unloved, unappreciated, uncherished) • I deserve to be abandoned (forgotten, unloved, left out) • I am weak ( impotent, feeble) • I am bad ( awful, dreadful, evil, despicable) • I am nothing ( worthless, invisible, unnoticed, empty)

  9. SHAME BUSTERS

  10. 1. EXPLORE YOUR CURRENT STRATEGIES! • Excessively shamed people often use unhealthy survival strategies that lessen the pain of shame. • Denial • Withdrawal • Rage • Perfectionism • Arrogance • Exhibitionism

  11. 2. CHALLENGE THE SHAME Set positive goals based on the following principles: Humanity: everyone belongs to the human race Humility: all human beings are equal. Autonomy: each has the responsibility to decide how to live our lives. Competence: every person can contribute something valuable to the world.

  12. 3. RETURN BORROWED SHAME Often our shame was given to us by someone in power or authority over us. We did nothing to deserve the shame we received from someone else. It was not “our” sin, it was theirs. We need to find a way to give it back to them and refuse to carry it any longer.

  13. The Cloak of Shame • has kept you: • Hidden • 2. Afraid • 3. Enslaved • 4. Bitter

  14. 4. REMOVE THE CLOAK OF SHAME AND PUT ON THE THINGS OF CHRIST. “The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” Romans 13:12

  15. “I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” Isaiah 61:10

  16. I am accepted... John 1:12 I am God's child. John 15:15 As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 I have been justified. 1 Corinthians 6:17 I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. 1 Corinthians 12:27 I am a member of Christ's body. Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ. Hebrews 4:14-16 I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.

  17. I am secure... Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances. Romans 8:31-39 I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God. Colossians 3:1-4 I am hidden with Christ in God. Philippians 1:6 I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven. 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. 1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me

  18. I am significant... John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life. John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God's temple. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I am a minister of reconciliation for God. Ephesians 2:6 I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm. Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship. Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

  19. Content from www.ficm.org

  20. Stop – being critical of yourself • Stop – comparing yourself to others • Stop – relationships that confirm your shame • Stop – feeling guilt when you have done nothing wrong.

  21. Choose a path that leads to freedom

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