GETTING TO YES Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In

1. GETTING TO YESNegotiating Agreement Without Giving In Author: Roger Fisher and William Ury Presenter: DaniHatoum

2. You knew it all the time! There is probably nothing in this book which you did not already know! This book can point you in a promising direction by making you aware of ideas

3. Like it or not We are all negotiators Negotiate for a raise with your boss Negotiate for a better grade Negotiate with a friend on where to go for dinner Every negotiation is different, but the basic elements do not change Negotiation is the basic means of getting what you want from others

4. Two types of negotiations Soft negotiator: Wants to avoid personal conflict, ready to reach an agreement Always ends up feeling exploited and bitter Hard negotiator: Sees any contest as a contest of wills Takes more extreme position Hold out longer and wants to win Always end up harming relationship with the other side Anger and resentment often results as one side sees itself bending to the rigid will of the other

5. Third Way of Negotiating Neither hard nor soft, but both hard and soft Suggests that you look to mutual gain when possible Where interests conflict, insist that the result be based on some fair standards

6. Positional Bargaining Positional bargaining strains and sometimes shatters relationships Avoid doing so by Separating people from the problem Focus on interests, not positions Invent options for mutual gain Two Children quarreling over an orange, each child wanted an orange so they split it, but failing to realize that one wanted the fruit to eat and the other the peel for baking

7. Taking positions just makes things worst because peoples egos become identified with their positions Attack the problem and not each other

8. Find your way Perception Differences between your thinking and theirs Put yourself in their shoes “how you see the world depends on where you sit” People tend to see what they want to see Humans are creatures of strong emotion who often have difficulty communicating

9. Emotion Parties may be more ready for battle than for cooperatively working out a solution to a common problem when emotions get in the way Emotions can quickly bring negotiations to an end First recognize and understand emotions, theirs and yours. Why are you angry? Why are they angry? Don’t react to emotional outburst

10. Communication Without communication there is no negotiation Negotiation is a process of communicating back and forth for the purpose of reaching a joint decision When negotiating you are too busy thinking of what you are going to say next that you forget to listen to what the other side is saying, make sure to listen Anger and frustration may obstruct an agreement beneficial to you D0n’t be angry

11. Ask “why?” Put yourself in their shoes Ask “why not?” Identify the basic decision that those on the other side probably see you asking them for, and ask yourself, why they have not made that decision. Realize that each side has multiple interests In each negotiation almost each side will have many interests.

12. People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. The most powerful interests are basic human needs Security Economic well being A sense of belonging Recognition Control over one’s life

13. Commit yourself to reaching a solution based on principle, not pressure Depending on the issue you may wish to propose an agreement based upon; Market value Efficiency Costs Moral standards What a court would decide Tradition Equal treatment

14. WHAT IF THEY ARE MORE POWERFUL? No method can guarantee success if all leverage lies on the other side Protect yourself against making an agreement you should reject

15. Since success for you in a negotiation depends upon the other side making a decision you want, you should do what you can to make that decision an easy one. Your task is to give them not a problem but an answer To give them not a tough decision but an easy one

16. Bottom Line Establishing in advance the worst possible outcome If you have not thought carefully about what you will do if you fail to reach an agreement, you are negotiating with your eyes closed If the other side has big guns, you do not want to turn a negotiation into a gunfight

17. What if they won’t play? Break the vicious cycle by refusing to react When they attack your ideas, do not defend them When they attack you, don’t counter back Side Step their attack and deflect it against the problem

18. Their “attack” will consist of three maneuvers Asserting their position forcefully Attacking your ideas Attacking you Don’t defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice

19. What if they use dirty tricks? There are many tactics and tricks that people use to try and take advantage of you The first standard response is to put up with it They hope that if they give in this time, the other side will be appeased and will not ask for more. The second common response is to respond in kind If they start outrageously high, you start outrageously low If they make threats, you make counter threats In the end either one party yields, or all too often negotiation breaks off Separate people from the problem

20. Stressful Situations Ask yourself if you feel under stress and if so, Why? Is the room to noisy Too cold or too hot Be aware that the setting might have been deliberately designed to make you want to conclude negotiations promptly Good guy bad guy routine Psychological manipulation Technique appears in old police movies Two people on the same side One will take a tough stand The other will seem to be on your side

21. A calculated delay Frequently one side will try to postpone coming to a decision until a time they think is favorable Whatever you do be prepared to fight dirty bargaining tactics If you recognize these techniques you wont be taken by it DON’T BE A VICTIM