Healthy Relationships

1. Healthy Relationships February 2018

2. Sexual Health • Sexuality is a big part of being human. Love, affection, and sexual intimacy all play a role in healthy relationships. However, a number of disorders can affect the ability to have or enjoy sex in both men and women https://medlineplus.gov/sexualhealth.html#summary

3. Sexual Health: a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction, or infirmity. https://www.cdc.gov/sexualhealth/

4. Sexual Health • Factors that can affect sexual health include: • Fear of unplanned pregnancy • Concerns about infertility • Sexually transmitted diseases • Chronic diseases such as cancer or heart disease • Medicines that affect sexual desire or performance https://medlineplus.gov/sexualhealth.html#summary

5. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence. https://www.cdc.gov/sexualhealth/

6. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) • STDs are passed from person to person through intimate physical contact including but not limited to: heavy petting, vaginal, oral, and anal sex. • The CDC estimates that 20 million new infections occur every year in the United States https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

7. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) • STDs can mostly prevented by not having sex • You can lower your risk of STDs by using condoms and engaging in a sexual relationship with a partner who doesn’t have an STD • STDs do not always cause symptoms, so it is possible to have an infection and not know it • All STDs can be treated with medicine, and some can be cured entirely https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

8. Common STDs • Bacterial vaginosis • Chlamydia • Gonorrhea • Genital herpes • HIV/AIDS • Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) • Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) • Syphilis • Trichomoniasis

9. Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) • BV is linked to an imbalance between “good” and “harmful” bacterial • BV is the most common vaginal infection in women ages 15-44 • Having BV can increase your chances of getting other STDs • BV rarely affects women who have never had sex https://www.cdc.gov/std/bv/stdfact-bacterial-vaginosis.htm

10. Chlamydia • Most commonly reported STD in the US • Can infect both men and women • Can cause serious, permanent damage to a woman’s reproductive system • Spread through unprotected vaginal, oral, or anal sex with a partner who is infected https://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/default.htm

11. Gonorrhea • Can infect both men and women • Very common infection, especially in individuals 15-24 • Spread through unprotected vaginal, oral, or anal sex with a partner who is infected https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/default.htm

12. GenitalHerpes • Most people who have the virus don’t have symptoms • Herpes can still be spread to sex partners even if signs and symptoms are not present • Oral herpes can be spread from the mouth to the genitals through oral sex’ • In the US, more than 1 out of 6 people aged 14-49 have genital herpes • Can affect men and women https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

13. HIV/AIDS Risk factors: • Engaging in unprotected anal, vaginal, or oral sex • Having multiple sex partners • Having anonymous sex partners • Having sex while under the influence can lower inhibitions and result in greater sexual risk-taking People who have STDs are more likely to get HIV, when compared to people who do not have STDs https://www.cdc.gov/std/hiv/stdfact-std-hiv.htm

14. Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) The HPV vaccine can prevent genital warts and some cancers • HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection • HPV is most commonly spread during unprotected vaginal or anal sex • HPV can be passed even when no signs or symptoms are present • Can cause health problems like genital warts and cancer https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/default.htm

15. Syphilis • Can have very serious complications when left untreated, but is simple to cure with the right treatment • There are 4 stages of syphilis that each have different signs and symptoms • Any sexual active individual can get syphilis through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex https://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm

16. Common STD Symptoms • Burning when urinating • Unusual discharge from penis or vagina • Pain, itching, or burning around genitals • Unusual bleeding • Painful or swollen testicles • Painful bowel movements • Skin rashes and bumps https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

17. Additional STD Resources STD information and referrals to STD Clinics1-800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636)TTY: 1-888-232-6348 American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) 1-800-783-9877

18. Sexual Problems in Men • Problems can include: • Erectile dysfunction • Reduced or lost interest in sex • Problems with ejaculation • Low testosterone • If problems last more than a few months or cause distress for your or your partner, you should see a health care provider https://medlineplus.gov/sexualproblemsinmen.html

19. Sexual Problems in Women • Problems can include: • Lack of a sexual desire • Inability to become aroused • Lack of orgasm, or sexual climax • Painful intercourse • If problems last more than a few months or cause distress for your or your partner, you should see a health care provider https://medlineplus.gov/sexualproblemsinwomen.html

20. Discover your love language: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

22. Tips for Dating Safely Tell someone where you’re going on your date—and when you’ll be back Drive yourself or agree to meet your date somewhere

23. Tips for Dating Safely Go with another couple Listen to your gut

24. Tips for Dating Safely Go somewhere public Say “no” when you feel like it

25. Tips for Dating Safely Use alcohol responsibly Watch your drink

26. Tips for Dating Safely Carry Cash Agree to check in with a friend at a certain time

27. Relationship Conflict Resolution Focus on the problem, not the person • When a disagreement turns to personal insults, raised voices, or mocking tones the conversation is no longer productive TherapistAid.com

28. Relationship Conflict Resolution Use reflective listening • Before responding to your partner, restate what they have said to you in your own words. Continue until your partner agrees you understand TherapistAid.com

29. Relationship Conflict Resolution Use “I” Statements • Begin your sentence with “I”. By doing so, we show that we are taking responsibility for our own emotion rather than blaming our partner TherapistAid.com

30. Relationship Conflict Resolution Know when to take a time-out • Call for a break when needed. Make sure to return to solving the problem. It isn’t a good idea to leave issues unaddressed TherapistAid.com

31. Relationship Conflict Resolution Work toward a resolution • Try to find a compromise that benefits both individuals • Ask yourself if the disagreement really matters to your relationship, and let yourself move on if not TherapistAid.com

32. Confidential resource for • matters related to: • Sexual violence • Relationship abuse • Domestic violence • Gender based harassment • Stalking • Can Provide: • Crisis support • Advocacy and accompaniments to medial, legal, and Title IX proceedings • Assistance with campus accommodations Office: (707)422-7345 24-Hour Crisis line: 1(866)4UR-SAFE www.safequest.org

33. Unhealthy Relationships • Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence • Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the victim’s life and circumstances National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

34. Recognizing Abusive and Violent Behaviors Coercion and Threats Intimidation Destroying partner’s personal property Displaying weapons to partner Making partner afraid by using looks, actions, and/or gestures • Making and/or carrying out threats to cause partner harm • Threatening to commit suicide • Forcing partner to do something illegal National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

35. Recognizing Abusive and Violent Behaviors Emotional Abuse Isolation Controlling what partner does, who they see, and where they go Using jealousy to justify actions • Putting partner down • Making partner feel bad about themselves • Calling partner names • Making partner feel guilty National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

36. Recognizing Abusive and Violent Behaviors Minimizing, Denying and Blaming Using Children Threatening to take children away Using visitation to harass your partner Making partner feel guilty about the children • Making light of the abuse and not taking partner’s concerns seriously • Shifting the responsibility for abusive behavior National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

37. Recognizing Abusive and Violent Behaviors Economic Abuse Male Privilege Treating your partner like a servant Being the one to define roles within the relationship • Preventing partner from getting or keeping a job • Making partner ask for money • Giving partner an allowance National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

38. 24-Hour Hotline: Rape and Intimate Partner Violence (707)557-6600