Interdependency

1. Interdependency • How are relationships like economies? What is exchanged? • What determines if we’ll stay in our current relationships? • Why do some relationships fall apart quickly? • How can we remain satisfied in our relationships?

2. Social Exchange • Maximum reward at minimum cost • Rewards – anything that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient • Costs – financial expenditures, injuries, frustrations, restrictions, etc. • Outcome = Rewards – Costs • We want the BEST possible outcomes

3. Outcomes are measured against our expectations • Comparison level (CL) – the value of the outcomes that we believe we deserve in our dealings with others

4. Basic Math: • Outcomes > CL = Satisfied relationship • Outcomes < CL = Dissatisfied relationship • Caveat: Even if you are making a profit, you may not think that profit is big enough

5. Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) – outcomes that we can receive by leaving our current relationships and moving on to the best alternative partner • But when do people actually leave?

6. Must consider the availability and desirability of potential alternatives • Prospect of loneliness • Investment in the current relationship (Rusbult, Drigotas, & Verette, 1994). • Tangible items (furniture, money, etc.) • Psychological benefits (love and respect from in-laws, for example)

7. CLalt is whatever you think it is • May be influenced by self-esteem and access to information • Outcomes – CLalt = dependence or independence

8. Types of relationships in interdependency theory outcome outcome CL CLalt outcome CL CL CLalt CLalt A happy, stable relationship A happy, stable relationship An unhappy, but stable relationship CLalt CL CLalt CLalt outcome CL CL outcome outcome A happy, but unstable relationship An unhappy, unstable relationship An unhappy, unstable relationship

9. How might people’s CLalt’s influence their interactions with one another? Betty’s and Barney’s outcomes Betty’s CLalt Barney’s CLalt

10. Principle of lesser (least) interest – the partner who is less dependent on a relationship has more power in it

11. CL and CLalt over time • We may become used to wonderful treatment from our partners, raising our CL • But if outcomes remain the same, satisfaction will decrease • As for CLalt, we may have entered the age of “permanent availability”

12. Rewards and Costs over time Costs Rewards Beginning Developing Established Beginning Developing Established Successful Relationships Graphs adapted from Eidelson, 1981 Unsuccessful Relationships

13. Other good vs. bad exchanges • Gottman and Levenson (1992) observed that well-regulated couples maintained a ratio of positive to negative exchanges of 5:1 or better • Well-regulated couples were more satisfied • Four years later, 56% of poorly regulated couples were divorced vs. 24% of well-regulated couples

15. We’ve seen that satisfaction can decrease as CL’s rise over time • But outcomes tend to decrease over time, too • Relationship satisfaction declines in the first few months after marriage

16. How come? • Remember social cognition? Impression management takes work • Trivial annoyances may build up through repetition • Partners may reveal secret information (intentionally or accidentally) • “Fatal attractions” • Birth of children (unrealistic expectations) • These may also be the very things that keep people from marrying in the first place, as they are discovered over time

17. Are we really this greedy? • Providing good outcomes for one’s partner can ultimately be self-serving • It may influence them to stay • It may influence them to do nice things for you, too • Nevertheless, there is plenty of compassionate thoughtfulness in interdependent relationships

18. Exchange vs. Communal Relationships (Clark & Mills, 1979) • Exchange relationships – carry the expectation of immediate repayment for benefits given • Communal relationships – carry the expectation of mutual responsiveness to one another’s needs

19. Equitable Relationships • Proportional justice – each partner gains benefits that are proportional to his or her contributions (Hatfield, 1983) • A relationship is equitable when the ratio of your outcomes to your contributions is similar to that of your partner

20. Your outcomes Your partner’s outcomes = Your contributions Your partner’s contributions Partner A Partner B 80 80 = a) 50 50 20 = 20 b) 100 100 50 100 = c) 25 50

21. Partner A Partner B 80 60 ≠ A is overbenefitted d) 50 50 80 80 ≠ A is underbenefitted e) 50 30 What are some ways to restore equity? If both partners are prospering, does it even matter?

22. Equity theory suggests that people are happiest when the relationship is fair • Overbenefitted people should feel guilty and somewhat less content • Underbenefitted people should simply dislike the unfairness of the situation

23. Studies show that no one likes being underbenefitted • But research is inconsistent regarding overbenefitted people and equity in general • When might equity matter? • Division of household tasks • Childcare

24. Commitment • Commitment can be either a happy dependence or a burdensome entrapment • It can result from both positive and negative influences

25. Investment Model (Rusbult Drigotas, & Verette, 1994) Satisfaction Level + Quality of Alternatives Commitment Level Decision to remain - + + Investment Size

26. Very good generalizability • Useful for predicting relationship duration, faithfulness, and even if battered wives will try to escape their abusive husbands • Other types of commitment? • Personal • Constraint • Moral (e.g. long-distance relationships)

27. Commitment leads people to take action to protect and maintain a relationship, even when it is costly to do so • Accommodative behavior • Willingness to sacrifice • Committed couples also consider their relationships to be superior to others’