What’s your role?

1. Everyone plays a part. Eyes on Bullying Anti-bullying! How to be an effective bystander. What’s your role?

2. When are you being bullied? Was does bullying look like? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uy7d4b-HY&feature=related

3. Bullying is about: • a power situation • deliberate hurt or intent • repeated behaviour.

4. Bullying is....... When someone keeps bossying you around and speaking unkindly.

5. . Bullying is....... When you keep being left out of the game and told you can’t play.

6. When someone keeps trying to hurt you or fight with you.

7. Other kids sending mean messages by emails or texts

8. How do you deal with bullies?

9. My Five Point Plan? Use ‘I’ Statements Walk Away Talk to someone Ignore It Name It

10. Walk Away Stay Cool Smart people know when to walk away. This is how you can do it: • Stop looking at them. Don’t give them eye contact. Look at someone or something else. •  Try to keep all expressions off your face. Look normal. Keep a ‘blank’ expression. •  Turn your body away. •  Do something else or talk to others near you. •  If the person keeps annoying you, STAY COOL and WALK AWAY in a calm manner. Don’t run. •  If they follow you and keep giving you a hard time, STOP and use another strategy. • e.g. ‘ Use I statements.’

11. Ignore It Smart people stay cool. • This is how you can do it: • Remember not to look at them. Don’t give them eye contact. Look at someone or something else. • Try to keep all expressions off your face. • Look normal. Keep a ‘blank’ expression. • Do something else or talk to others near you. Don’t talk, argue or insult back, the person hassling you. • Try hard not to get upset, angry or anxious. Remain calm. • If they keep hassling you, try another strategy. E.g. Walk away.

12. Use 'I' STatements Smart people stand tall • This is how you can do it: • Using ‘I’ statements helps to give the other person a clear message about how you feel when they are hassling you. • Look at the person and say: • “When you......... e.g. call me names” • “ I feel ..........angry, sad, upset etc.” • “ I would like you to........e.g. stop calling me names. • Remember to stay cool and calm. Use a calm, firm voice. Keep your body relaxed, stand up tall and straight and use good eye contact.

13. Name It Stay Cool. Smart people use a strong voice • This is how you can do it: • It is the behaviour you do not like not the person. • Use confident and assertive responses to name the behaviour • Speak in a firm but not angy voice. • Stand tall. • Look at the person without expression. (non threatening) • Stay in control of yourself. • Look at the person and say. • ‘What you are doing is bullying. Choose to stop now or I will have to go and see.......’ (name an adult)

14. Talk Stay Cool. Smart people learn to say stop! This is how you can do it: • Sometimes it is hard to resist pressure from your classmates. • Say ‘STOP IT. I DON’T LIKE IT. GO AWAY’ in a confident and calm voice. • Do not lecture or nag the other person. • Do not change your mind if you know the behaviour is wrong. • Be friendly but firm. Stay cool. • Talk to an adult if you have a problem. • Act Responsibly, Be Respectful, Think Smart.

15. What is a bystander? • A bystander is someone who sees the bullying situation. • Bystanders may act in many different ways. • A bystander might: • Watch what is going on and not get involved. • Pretend not to see and ignore the situation. • Choose to get involved in the bullying. • Choose to get involved and stop the bullying • Choose to get help. • As bystanders, the way children behave • can either support or help to stop bullying. • Many children don’t know how to help • the person being bullied.

16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uy7d4b-HY&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvhIdB_8WXE&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC1EyWIU1tI&feature=related

17. I’m just a bully. But it’s all in fun! I was there. I saw what they were doing to him and I didn’t do anything. I could have told someone and he might not have been hurt. Being bullied is never fun – it hurts Has this ever happened to you in the playground or on the bus? DISCUSS

18. Look Around… The Victim Activity.

19. Bystanders can be our best ally to prevent bullying or our worst enemy to promote bullying Activity: Look Around…The Bystander

20. Bystander Quiz WHICH OF THESE STATEMENTS IS TRUE? 1 Bystanders are usually watching when kids get bullied. True False 2 Most kids who watch bullying feel uncomfortable. True False 3 Most kids who watch bullying do nothing to try to stop it. True False 4 Kids who silently watch bullying usually make True False things worse. 5 Kids who laugh at or cheer on bullying usually make True False things worse. 6 Kids who try to stop the bullying often make things better. True False 7 Sometimes grownups don’t stop bullying because they True False don’t see it happen, don’t hear about it, or don’t understand how much it hurts. 8 Both kids and adults can learn to become helpful True False bystanders who stop bullying.

21. Bystander Quiz Explanatory Statements Recent research provides evidence for each statement. 1 True Child bystanders were present in 85% or more of the bullying incidents in observation studies of children in playgrounds and classrooms. 2 True Between 80% and 90% of bystanders reported that watching bullying was unpleasant and made them feel uncomfortable. Many children also felt they should step in to help a child who was being bullied. 3 True Bystanders stood up for the victim only 10% to 19% of the time. Instead, bystanders acted as silent witnesses 54% of the time and joined the bullying with words or actions 21% of the time. 4 True Even when bystanders simply watched bullying without trying to stop it, they made things worse by providing an audience for the bully. Bullying lasted longer when more bystanders were present and when bystanders did nothing to stop it. 5 True When bystanders laughed at or cheered on bullying, they encouraged the bullying to continue. 6 True When bystanders intervened to stand up for the victim, they were successful in stopping the bullying more than 50% of the time—usually within the first 10 seconds. 7 True Adults are often not aware of bullying because it usually happens in areas with little or no adult supervision, such as bathrooms, hallways, playgrounds, cafeterias. However, even when adults directly witness bullying, they often overlook or minimize its harmful effects. In playground observations, adults intervened in only 4% of the bullying incidents they witnessed. 8 True When children and adults learn, practice, and use effective ways for bystanders to stop bullying, incidents of bullying can be significantly reduced.

22. Students who bully are encouraged when you • Watch them • laugh at what they do • Join in • When you do nothing

23. Being a bystander to bullying When bullying is happening and you are there, then you have four choices. 1. Stand and watch If something is happening, it is normal for people to go and see what is going on. If someone is being hurt by one or more people, it is normal to feel:    • curious – why, what is this about? • excited – other people's emotions can be 'catching'. • afraid – what if that person being hurt was me? Standing and watching someone get hurt puts you on the same side as the bully. If you are not helping the victim, then you are giving your support to the bully. Do you want to do that? "Sometimes it's hard to do anything because the bully could pick on you. You have to get other people to support you" –

24. 2. Support the bully Everyone likes to feel powerful at times, but supporting a bully is not the way to go. There are other reasons why someone might takes sides with a bully. Helping a bully to hurt someone is misusing your power. How would you feel if you were the victim? "I joined in because I was scared. I felt bad after that. Someonewas hurt and I had helped" –

25. 3. Get away from there It is normal to think: • I don't want to get involved. • I don't want to be hurt. • They probably deserved it anyway. • Keeping out of trouble is best. • Getting away from bullying will keep you safe. • Once again, it is the bully who wins. • By going away you are in effect telling the bully that what he is doing is OK with you – that you don't care if the victim is being hurt. • Is that what you believe? What if next time the victim is you?

26. Be an active bystander If someone is being hurt, it is normal to want to help that person. But look at the situation carefully before you act. It's important to keep yourself safe. • You may try to stop it happening by saying • something and getting others to say something. • You may go to help the victim. • You may try pulling the bully or bullies away, • but only if it is safe for you to do so. • You may try getting help – for example, asking others to help or getting a teacher or other authority figure to come and stop the bullying. • You may offer to act as a mediator – someone who listens to both sides and tries to help resolve the conflict.

27. What to do to help someone who is being bullied. Talk to an adult Say “Cut it out.” Show Disgust Tell the teacher Treat people nicely Use kind words Say “I understand” Help them move away. Be proactive Listen Ask for help

28. Don’t stand by STAND UP http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCd6V6cejEQ

29. What If? What Would Happen If? Bullies like to set the rules and they expect them to be followed. But what would happen if the rules changed: if a victim didn’t accept his or her punishment, or a bystander did more than stand by? This activity is designed to help both victims and bystanders end the bullying game, by finding new ways to respond to the bully. It empowers children to change the rules, see available options, and appreciate how their actions can make a difference. 1. Pick the storythat is most appropriate for your group. 2. Read it aloud. 3. Ask children to discuss What would happen if . . . ?

30. What sort of bullying might this be? What do you think is happening here? How does this type of bullying make you feel? What could an active bystander do? Can you act this out?

31. What sort of bullying might this be? What do you think is happening here? How does this type of bullying make you feel? What could an active bystander do? Can you act this out?

32. What sort of bullying might this be? What do you think is happening here? How does this type of bullying make you feel? What could an active bystander do? Can you act this out?

34. http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uy7d4b-HY&feature=related