Analysis of writing

Analysis of writing Step1 Identify what is a good writing Step2 Enjoy good writings Step3 Make a conclusion on how to write a good composition Step4 Practice & homework

Step1 Identify what is a good writing Passage A good points: weak points: • It is made up of people who are volunteered to contribute themselves to the society. • You can apply for a member ship on the Internet. • I feel it quite beneficial when I devote myself doing so. • I have also donated things that can be necessary in … volunteer devote/dedicate membership to necessities

Passage B 1. related mistakes • Nanjing Volunteers Association, which the short form is NJVA, was founded 20 years ago. of • Nanjing Volunteers Association, ___________ short form is NJVA, was founded 20 years ago. whose 2. related mistakes • Nanjing Volunteers Association was built 20 years ago. set up/ established/started etc.

3. related mistakes • NJVA has 20 more years history. • It was 20 years ago since NJVA was founded. • NJVA has been founded since ________________. • It has been 20 years since _____________________. a history of more than 20 years. that 20 years ago NJVA was founded 4. related mistakes • You can attend NJVA online ... • I have attended in/join many activities since I became … join joined in/taken (an active) part in/ participated in/ been involved in etc.

5.related mistakes • I feel the voluntary work is worth to do. doing • I feel the voluntary work is worthy ____________. to be done/ of being done

Step2 Learn from good writings Here is one version offered by teachers: NJVA is a non-profit social organization set up about 20 years ago. It is made up of people who are willing to do things beneficial to society and for those in great need of help. Anyone can sign up for the membership on its website www.njzyz.com.cn. As student volunteers, we helped clean the streets in the holidays, and planted trees in local parks last year. All our efforts have paid off when the city is taking on a new look. We also donated money, books and clothes to children from poor families. I myself have learnt a lot in these activities…

We gave away money and clothes and tried to increase people’s awareness of helping the poor. (孙革) • Give some sugar to others, you’ll feel sweet in your heart.(张超) • NJVA aims to help others. All of the members are volunteers who are willing to help others with nothing in return. (戴秋旻) • First, helping others is delightful, from which we can benefit a lot. Second, we should call on more and more people to join us in that there are so many people who need help. (孙祯彬) • When I see the smiles on people’s faces, I feel happy. (恭庆) • Frankly speaking, as a volunteer, I take pride in what I do.(蔡翔) • Through these activities, not only can we make our city a better place to live, but also we can learn lots of things we can’t get from classes.(郑诚)

Considering many volunteers are students, we donate some books to the children who come from the poor families.(喻登辉) • I am proud of myself in that I can do my bit for the society. (周紫雁) • In the long term, our behavior will attract more people’s attention to care about those who need help.(王青) • I think kindness and enthusiasm is a must for us every citizen. • (郭玥雯) • Last Sunday, we represented all of the members in NJVA to raise money for the poor children.(姚欣雅) • What you give may be little to yourself, but great to those who receive it. Everyone should reach out their hands and help form a world of love.(严楚靓) • We gave away money and goods to the poor family, which I think • can give hope to those in trouble. （范志成）

We should spare no effort to beautify our city. • As an old saying goes, “It’s better to give than to receive.” • The more people join, the better world it will be. • It is the voluntary work that makes me realize that helping others can give me a sense of achievement. • Tired as I may be, I feel happy when I see the smile on people’s faces. • Only when everyone is involved can we make our city a better place to live in. • It’s high time that we joined the association and dedicated ourselves to helping others. • I am happy that I can help others in trouble. Besides, I always believe that showing kindness and love is one of the greatest qualities of human beings.

Step3 Conclusion What makes a good composition? It mainly depends on: • whether you complete the task in a set time • whether it has a clear structure • whether you cover all the key points • whether you successfully avoid grammatical mistakes (punctuation, spelling, tenses, voices, etc.) • whether you use varieties of words and sentence patterns (verb phrases, different clauses, inversion etc.) • whether you use linking wordsproperly • check your writing according to the rules above

Step4 Exercise 请你给《中国日报》写一篇稿件，谈谈农村儿童失学的主要原因及你的看法。原因： 1、家庭贫穷，供不起儿童上学，他们不得不在家赚钱养家。 2、部分家长认为女孩上学无用，不愿让她们上学。 3、部分儿童对功课不感兴趣，不愿上学。要求： 1、不要逐字逐句翻译。 2、语句要连贯通顺。 3、字数150个左右 inform the readers of the problem you are concerned about Para1 outline list the reasons why such problem is more likely to happen in rural areas Para2 state your own opinion and you can also give some suggestions Para3

Analysis of writing