Abuse In The Church:

1. Biblical, Legal, & Counseling Perspectives Pastoral Responsibilities Ministry Opportunities Abuse In The Church: Philip G. Monroe, PsyD Biblical Seminary pmonroe@biblical.edu

2. Case 1 • Troubled teen boy • Known to be a liar and overdramatic • Tells you in private that elder in church is abusing him • The elder is well known and respected by all • What should you do?

3. Case 2 • Church member confesses to physical abuse of child • Feels guilty, wants help with anger • What do you do?

4. Guiding principles? • Find the truth? • Protect from false accusation? • Protect the integrity of the church? • Avoid legal or civil liability?

5. A few sad facts • Abuse 75X more likely than pediatric cancer • 1:6 men abused before 18 • 1:4 women abused before 18 • Consider a church of 100 men, 100 women • 42 abuse victims in the church! • 70 allegations against churches made per week (reported by insurance companies)

6. Why this matters • The character of God is at stake • James 1:27 • Family response is far more healing (or damaging) than primary abuse • Abuse response provides ministry opportunities!

7. Session goals: • Review motives for reporting abuse • Explore failures to respond well • Consider ministry opportunities in response • Identify prevention strategies

8. Reporting Abuse Legal AND Moral Motives

9. What is child abuse? • Any act or failure to act that causes non-accidental harm • Physical and Psychological abuse • Sexual abuse or exploitation • Neglect • Mandated reporters are not to assess • Intent • Whether abuse actually happened

10. Sexual abuse? • What is sexual abuse? • Rape • Assault • Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse • Aggravated indecent assault, indecent exposure • Molestation and incest • Prostitution, sexual abuse or exploitation • Exposure to pornography? YES

11. Statutory rape? • Statutory Rape? • Less than 13? Yes, automatically • Ages 13-15: If other person is 4 or more years older, then considered involuntary by rule; • 16 plus? Can consent to have sex with any aged partner

12. Child abuse hotlines • National • 1-800-4-A-CHILD • PA (childline) • 1-800-932-0313 • DE • 1-800-969-4357 • CT • 1-800-842-2288 • NJ • 1-877-NJ-ABUSE • NY • 1-800-342-3720 • NM • 1-855-333-7233

13. Legal statutes

14. Confusing PA statues • No clergyman, priest, rabbi or minister of the gospel of any regularly established church…, who while in the course of his duties has acquired information from any person secretly and in confidence shall be compelled, or allowed without consent of such person, to disclose that information in any legal proceeding, trial or investigation before any government unit.

15. Confusing PA statues • Except with respect to confidential communications made to a member of the clergy that are protected under 42 Pa.C.S. § 5943 (relating to confidential communications to clergymen)…, the privileged communication between any professional person required to report and the patient or client of that person shall not apply to situations involving child abuse and shall not constitute grounds for failure to report as required by this chapter.

16. A higher standard? • You may not be legally compelled to report • But why wouldn’t you?

17. When you report • Get information, and write it down ASAP • Seek consultation • avoid only liability concerns • Determine appropriate authority to notify • Make official report (call, then writing in 48 hours) • Determine if you should notify victims/perpetrators

18. Possible outcomes? • Unfounded • agency finds no indication of abuse • Indicated • agency finds evidence of abuse and requests a court to determine this is true • Founded • a court determines the abuse has happened

19. Do you report? • 18 year old who reports father sexually abused her • Has 12 year old sister • Parent is punching walls, making threats to harm • 17 year old boy admits to sexual relationship with 26 year old teacher

20. Concluding thoughts • Consider yourself a mandated reporter • Always move to protect children first • You are not to determine if abuse has happened • Your moral obligations to report are more stringent than the law

21. Failures to Respond Well Common hindrances

22. Revisiting case study 1 • Pastor involved in sexual activity with teen • Teen is known to be demanding and coy • Pastor has had a good reputation

23. Which hurts more? • Wounds from an enemy? or… • Neglect from a friend?

24. We never Do “nothing” "It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering.” Judith Hermann, Trauma & Recovery, p. 7

25. Individual reasons: • Winsomeness of abusive person • Denial • Doubt: self and victim • Self-protection

26. Group reasons: • Mistaken beliefs • Groupthink • System protection • Cultural constraints

27. Common church reactions • Failure to report abuse of minors • Attempts to discover truth on own • Cover-up for the sake of reputation • Half-truths; silence • Blaming the victim • Pastoral sexual abuse or affair?

28. Additional reactions • Ignoring congregation and other victims • Focus on getting beyond the abuse • Normalcy over ministry • Treating abuse as an isolated incident • Ignoring systemic issues; ignoring the opportunity

29. Ministry Opportunities

30. 6 proactive actions • Educate the whole church • Start with Scripture • True Religion: James 1:27 • Mandate to submit to governments: Ro 13; 1 Pet 2 • Note: more than just to avoid the millstone! • Talk about it! • Exploitation uses religious cover, distorted faith, preys on needs and easy trust • Real love does not coerce

31. Educate the Church: key areas • Develop a theology of oppression to explain impact of trauma • Abuse hurts because of: • Abuse of power • Deception and false teaching • Failure to lead • Objectification • Forced false worship • Failure to love violates the imago dei and the Trinity? From “The nature of Evil in CSA: Theological considerations of oppression and its consequences” in Schmutzer, A (ed.) The Long Journey Home: Wipf & Stock.

32. Educate the Church: key areas • Acknowledge lasting impact on individuals • Relational anxiety • Physiological alterations • Spiritual confusion • Identify community helps: • Safe, hope-filled, boundaried relationships that enable • Victim to be heard • To have dominion

33. Educate the Church: key areas • Develop a larger view of healing • What constitutes healing? • How do we participate in God’s healing? • Support? Mercy? Prayer? Listen? Play? • Remember: some healing is immediate, other healing grows day by day

34. Educate the Church: key areas • Explore ancillary themes: forgiveness, reconciliation, restoration, restitution, etc. • What is the rush? • Why forgiveness now? • Point in time? Attitude? • Why reconciliation now? What bothers us most about brokenness? • What does repentance look like? • What about restitution?

35. Educate the Church: key areas • How to talk and process tragedy as a community? • Lament • Self-examine, repent • Worship

36. 6 proactive actions • Network • Get to know your local law enforcement, child protection advocates, prosecutors, counselors • Treat them as teachers and supporters, not enemies! • Learn from other Christian groups

37. 6 proactive actions • Respond well to abuse by leaders • Refuse all cover-ups, white-washes, letting leaders “leave with their reputations” • Correct/repent for prior mistakes • Choose truth as an adornment over reputation

38. 6 proactive actions • Consider your own propensity for sin • Choose to live in the light with fellow sinners

39. 6 proactive actions • Expand ministry of spiritual care • Ministry to victims, victims of other abuses, offenders, family members, congregation and community

40. 6 proactive actions • Plan ahead! • Safety policies; background checks for ALL • Reporting policies • Train!

41. Responding to Abuse: Ministry Opportunities Spiritual Care Teams Prevention

42. Preparing for mercy ministry

43. Planning for abuse crises • Define: values/goals • Educate: understand abuse and its impact • Build: policy and ministry teams • Assess: needs/fruit • Develop: mercy ministry trajectories for • Victims (and their families) • Offenders (and their families) • The congregation

44. Define: values/goals • What do you want to undergird your work? • Protection of the least of these (victim/offender) • Mercy Ministry focus (vs. outcome) • What would be considered a mercy?

45. Additional values? • Love and truth? • Purity? • Redemption? • Healing? Restoration? (To what?) • Engagement with non-church experts? • Fairness? • Is there a danger to this?

46. Preparing for mercy ministry

47. Educate: • Abuse • Forms, impact, common reactions • Abusers/Offenders • Common habits? Common responses? • Deception and its impact on self/other • Common family/spouse responses? • Abuse related laws/regulations • Agencies and resources

48. Three important books • Langberg, D. On the Threshold of Hope • Salter, A. Predators: Pedophiles, rapists, and… • Schmutzer, A. The Long Journey Home

49. Preparing for mercy ministry

50. Prevention policies • Purpose • Background checks for all • Go beyond child abuse checks • Limit one-on-one interactions • Educate kids, teens, parents • Train