Journal “In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb

1. Building Strong Families Journal “In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb Is your family united? How can you help unite and strengthen your family?

2. Thoughts • Stack every bit of criticism between two layers of praise. • It is more important to get in the first thought than the last word.

3. “A Sense of a Goose”

4. What are the Secrets of a Strong Family?

5. Students make a list of qualities of a Strong Family?

6. Questionnaire: • Make a list of areas where your family may need help.

7. Discuss “Secret of a strong Family • Have students give examples

8. Commitment • Make your family come first. • They go with each other when one of them has an activity. • An investment of time, energy, spirit, and heart. • We should also tell them about our day – then we are sharing. • Commitment = How you spend your time and money. • Beware of the demands of outside interests – remember your first job is ----- the family. • The commitment is in writing – a mission statement. • Decide what you want to stand for. Start with one sentence. • Mission statements change as the family changes.

9. Time Together • Instead of giving in to the complaint that there just isn’t enough time, make time. • Quality time is a function (better than) of quantity time. • Peak experiences • Vacations • Camping • Continuous experiences • Eating together • Chores • Doing homework • The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.

10. Appreciation • Frequently, short • Appreciative of invisible work • Deuche’s Law – Behavior is Contagious • Don’t give up too quickly, it takes 4 weeks. Feeling worthwhile and valuable is one of the most basic human needs.

11. Communication • Good Communication helps create: • A sense of belonging in a family • Increases understanding • Empathy between its members.

12. Communication • The goal of communication is by far more important than the techniques. • If my goal is to win….bad • If my goal is to understand or help….good • As we communicate, we need to be aware of our goals. If it is a good goal, our communication will go well. • Techniques are good, but tend to be mechanical. Say it in your own language.

13. Decision Making and Responsibilitiy • Healthy families, including children, cooperate with each other in making decisions. • Everyone in the family takes responsibility for own mistakes.

14. Creative Problem Solving • Strong families can solve problems in creative ways. • Happy families have the same number of arguments, but they have spaces filled with happy times. • It is ok to have problems, but the key is to solve them quickly. • The longer you are in an argument, the harder it is to get out. Why? • Confidences in their ability to meet problems and solve them.

15. Values and Spiritual Wellness • Healthy families have a strong moral base in values and spiritual beliefs. • Share goals and ideas about what is important.

16. Affection • Small touches (non-sexual) • Love Currency – understanding what it is for the other person and learn to give it. • Make you Love Currency explicit. • Gender differences and love currency.

17. Activity: Magic Carpets

18. State Requirement #7 Strengthening Family Relationships

19. Make a list of 10 activities you can do with your family to build your family strength.

20. Strengthen Family Relationships Activity • Select two (third extra credit) of the seven strategies of strengthens families’ relationships. • Implement this strategy. • Explain what you are planning to do. • Do It. • Then explain what you actually did do. • Evaluate the strategy. Did the strategy strengthen your family? How? • How can you see this activity building unity in your family in the future?

21. As a class read “You can change your family”

22. Show: Sound of Music • What do you think about his rules?

23. Family Rules • What is the importance of Family rules?

24. Family Chores • What are the importance of family chores.

25. Family Traditions • Show Fiddler on the Roof • How does family tradition influence our family unity.

26. Complete the Family Tradition

27. Whether you have grown up in a strong family or not, it is possible to have a strong and healthy family of your own. If your present family is a good model to follow, transfer those strengths to your new family. If not, rather than blame others, yourself, or circumstances, take responsibility for making your future family the kind of family that nurtures and loves its members. If doesn’t just happen by accident.. It takes effort and determination; but it’s worth it. Investing in your family is the best investment in the future you can make.

28. Summary: • Despite the media attention focused on the down side of family life, families are considered the foundation of our nation. We have a great many families that consider their family’s health strong and growing. To be a strong nation we must build strong families. This takes know how, determination, desire, and hard work. So start working to build your family’s strength.