Book Jan 09

1. Book Jan 09 Jan. 09 Harvard medical school is violating ethics rules http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/03/business/03medschool.html?_r=1&em&emc=eta1

2. The weekly Insight The weekly Insight

3. Six sense • MIT MEDIA LAB • http://www.ted.com/talks/pattie_maes_demos_the_sixth_sense.html

4. Leil’s advice • At the END of your conversation, tell a new acquaintance, “I’m so happy I met you, Miguel!” • At the END of a chance-meeting, tell your colleague, “Good bumping into you, Barry.” • At the END of a chat, tell your friend, “I always enjoy our conversations, Chelsea.” • At the END of a phone conversation, “It’s so much fun talking to Fiona.” • At the END of a meeting, “I appreciate the points you made, Peter.” • At the END of a date, “It was lovely being with you, Brendon.” • A lively farewell –- LETTING THEIR NAME BE THE LAST WORD THEY HEAR -- is like a warm kiss at the end of an evening. A lackluster, low-energy one sounds like a kiss-off.

5. Beauty Expert Reveals Hidden Dangers • AOL Health: In your book, you say that about 90 percent of cosmetic ingredients have never been analyzed for health impacts by the Cosmetic Ingredient Review Board. Why is that? Gabriel: Unless a manufacturer comes up with a potion that dramatically alters the physiological functions of the skin, it is considered a beauty product -- something innocuous, harmless. But our skin is very capable of absorbing everything that touches its surface, and many cosmetic products today contain penetration enhancers that virtually push the chemicals into the skin. Most often, the Cosmetic Ingredient Review board analyzes the isolated chemical on animals over a relatively short period of time. We humans are exposed to a whopping amount of various chemicals every day over decades. Many of these chemicals are stored in our fatty tissue. No one can predict how these chemicals interact with each other and what "Molotov cocktail" we are brewing inside after 10 or 20 years of diligent "pampering."AOL Health: You site a study that found that of the popular cosmetics tested, 80 percent contained phthalates -- which weren't listed on the label. How is that possible?Gabriel: As chemicals, phthalates are known as gender-benders -- hormone mimickers that are capable of messing up our hormonal balance even at low doses. This puts us at higher risk for infertility, obsesity and hormone-related cancers such as breast, uterine and prostate cancers. Sadly, we are exposed to phthalates from a number of sources, including artificially fragranced skincare and makeup, air fresheners, car interiors, plastic packaging, wires -- even MP3 player accessories. While it’s virtually impossible to eliminate all sources of phthalate exposure, we can still do a lot. For example... even I, with my dedication to using all green and natural, when it comes to skincare and makeup, can’t resist Cool Water by Davidoff and Pleasures by Estée Lauder. But … I don’t spray the chemical fragrances all over my body. I apply one or two spritzes on my clothes.AOL Health: What is the danger of using aluminum-containing antiperspirants?Gabriel: Aluminum is another gender-bender... it mimics the action of human hormones and triggers various receptors associated with the sex hormone estrogen. Aluminum salt (potassium alum) in "rock" deodorants isn't any safer. Luckily, there are lots of very effective deodorants without aluminum available today. I've been test-driving quite a few, and I currently use Tom's of Maine roll-on deodorants, which are quite effective

6. Points of reference • Emotional “scars” • Emotional “medals” • Life normal Experiences

7. Principles to help you in communications, avoid arguments, and live a happy life • The principle of diminishing returns • The bigger picture principle • Before you make a decision find out whether it may affect things that are not obvious right away • Set boundaries • Prior to a discussion figure out the topics you don’t want to touch • Use" Points of Reference”, & blessing in disguise: • Lessons learned from prior experiences • The Preemptive principle I, II, III: • Think about the content of the coming event ahead of time • The 2 interpretation principle: • Find an alternative interpretation that gives you less stress • The communication principle

8. Principles to help you in communications, avoid arguments, and live a happy life • Set boundaries • Prior to a discussion figure out the topics you don’t want to touch • Use" Points of Reference”, & blessing in disguise: • Lessons learned from prior experiences • The Preemptive principle I, II, III: • Think about the content of the coming event ahead of time • The 2 interpretation principle: • Find an alternative interpretation that gives you less stress • The bigger picture principle • Before you make a decision find out whether it may affect things that are not obvious right away • The 100%--0% philosophy (as oppose to 50%--50%) • Whatever you do don’t expect any reciprocation • &The surprise principle • From time to time surprise them with unexpected positive act • The S and double S principle • Any endeavor you undertake you must substitute it with an alternative

9. Eat Yogurt • Here’s a diet "do" that may help keep your bladder cancer-free. Start your day with some yogurt. Later, have some more for a snack. Compared with their peers who never ate yogurt, people in a study who ate two or more servings daily had almost a 40 percent lower risk of bladder cancer. Talk about an antiager!

10. Harvard Medical School, • BOSTON — In a first-year pharmacology class at Harvard Medical School, Matt Zerden grew wary as the professor promoted the benefits of cholesterol drugs and seemed to belittle a student who asked about side effects. Related • Readers' Comments • Share your thoughts. • Post a Comment » • Read All Comments (40) » • Mr. Zerden later discovered something by searching online that he began sharing with his classmates. The professor was not only a full-time member of the Harvard Medical faculty, but a paid consultant to 10 drug companies, including five makers of cholesterol treatments. • “I felt really violated,” Mr. Zerden, now a fourth-year student, recently recalled. “Here we have 160 open minds trying to learn the basics in a protected space, and the information he was giving wasn’t as pure as I think it should be.” • David Tian, 24, a first-year Harvard Medical student, said: “Before coming here, I had no idea how much influence companies had on medical education. And it’s something that’s purposely meant to be under the table, providing information under the guise of education when that information is also presented for marketing purposes.” • The students say they worry that pharmaceutical industry scandals in recent years — including some criminal convictions, billions of dollars in fines, proof of bias in research and publishing and false marketing claims — have cast a bad light on the medical profession. And they criticize Harvard as being less vigilant than other leading medical schools in monitoring potential financial conflicts by faculty members.

11. On our plate Shopping Kids Work bills

12. Focus disruptions ANT’s (Automatic negative thoughts) Worry about coming interview Worry about expenses, over investing.. Guilty about mother Worry about Email Worry about the kids Every instance Focus Background thoughts and feelings

13. Focus disruptions ANT’s (Automatic negative thoughts) Worry about up- coming interview Worry about expenses, over investing.. Guilty about mother Worry about Email Worry about the kids Every instance Focus Background thoughts and feelings

14. The formation of an event ….. ….. ….. Focus Focus Focus Event

15. The formation of an event ….. ….. ….. Focus Focus Focus Event

16. The bar of conscious energy ANTs Worry about expenses (car), over investing Worry about coming interview Worry about Email Worry about an incident Guilty about mother Every instance Focus Background thoughts and feelings Background thoughts and feelings Outer self, behavior & actions Inner self One Principle for each issue

17. Center of consciousness Awareness, Thinking Decision Action Center of consciousness

18. Center of consciousness Awareness, Thinking Decision Action Center of consciousness

19. The center of consciousness Awareness, Thinking Decision Action Center of consciousness

20. Reasons for anger Problems at work Financial issues Election defeat …. … Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance The MindVisualizerTM model Filter of interpretation and reasoning Event captured through our senses Negative thoughts Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs Self esteem Positive feeling Points of reference Decision Worst & best case scenarios Short term Long term memory Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events Past events

21. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance Decision making Negative thoughts Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs Self esteem Positive feeling Points of reference Worst & best case scenarios Short term Long term memory Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events Past events

22. The MindVisualizerTM modelFriend’s recognition Filter of interpretation and reasoning Event captured through our senses 1 Negative thoughts Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions 2 Sadness Beliefs Self esteem Positive feeling Points of reference 3 Short term Long term memory Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events 4 Past events

23. The MindVisualizerTM modelFriend’s recognition Filter of interpretation and reasoning Event captured through our senses 1 Negative thoughts Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions 2 Sadness Beliefs Self esteem Positive feeling Points of reference 3 Short term Long term memory Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events 4 Past events

24. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance The MindVisualizerTM model Filter of interpretation and reasoning Event captured through our senses Negative thoughts Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs Self esteem Positive feeling Points of reference Worst & best case scenarios Short term Long term memory Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events Past events

25. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance Manager did not greet an employee Filter of interpretation and reasoning Event captured through our senses 1 Negative thoughts Fear worry Motivation 6 2 Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs 3 Self esteem Points of reference Short term 7 Future events Present events 4 5 Past events

26. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance The Principle of two interpretationsManager did not greet an employee Filter of interpretation and reasoning Event captured through our senses 1 Negative thoughts Fear worry Motivation 6 2 Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs 3 Self esteem Points of reference Short term 7 Future events Present events 4 5 Past events

27. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance How are opinions and Points of reference created Blind date turned sour Negative thoughts • Points of reference • I’ll never go on another • blind date • I’ll never trust my • friend again Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs Self esteem negative feeling Points of reference Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events • Financial security • He doesn’t have a job • He is deeply in debts

28. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance How are opinions and Points of reference created Blind date turned sour Negative thoughts • Points of reference • I’ll never go on another • blind date • I’ll never trust my • friend again Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs Self esteem negative feeling Points of reference Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events • Financial security • He doesn’t have a job • He is deeply in debts

29. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance Inventory of your life’s elements Negative thoughts • Points of reference • I don’t like blind dates • I don’t speed • (after a speeding ticket) Recognition worry Motivation Fear Anger Opinions Sadness Beliefs Self esteem negative feeling Points of reference • Job Security • I feel secure in my job, • My manager praises me • all the time • I have good rapport with • my employees Future events Dreams Plans Goals Fears Worries Present events • Past pleasant memories • The birth of my children • My graduation ceremony

30. The principle of two interpretationsTeenage daughter: First Interpretation Negative opinion Carelessness Compassion 1 Negative Point of reference Values Anger Love, relationship Automatic, habitual, unconscious • Action: • How careless are you • This is not the first time • You are grounded • I am not going to rescue you 2 3 Alcohol

31. The principle of two interpretationsTeenage daughter: Second Interpretation Carelessness Compassion Positive Point of reference Values Negative opinion Love, relationship Anger • Action: • Calm down It is ok • Don’t worry • It happened to me • many times • You could have • been in Europe • Where are you…. 2 Second interpretation 1 Europe Not automatic, needs conscious awareness

32. The two interpretations Principle: Mother’s in-law visit: First Interpretation Love for husband Mistrust 1 Power Marital relationship Values Suspicion Anger Action: .Telling husband she doesn’t Want her to come. .Start an argument to Prove she is right 3 2 Past encounters: she is controlling

33. The two interpretations Principle: Mother’s in-law visit: Second interpretation Mother’s in-law state of mind Insecure Self esteem Negative thoughts Fear Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance Love for husband 2 Empathy Marital relationship Suspicion Values Anger Action: Calls to invite her with open arms Ask her for advice Make husband & kids happy 3 1 The kids love their granny

34. Preemptive steps:From red to yellow Collect Data 1 Check Points of Reference 2 Consult Family & Friends 3 Consider Worst/Best case scenarios 4 5 Confident, No worries Afraid, worried Event transformation before and after applying the Preemptive Principle

35. 2 Preemptive examples Blind Date Interview 1.Collect Data 1.Collect Data • Enter info about the interviewers • Answer FAQ. • Check the venue • . • Get as much info on the • person you are going to date • Check out restaurant • you are planning • to go to, Menu etc. 2.Points of reference 2.Points of reference Enter what you did wrong on previous dates And what you did right Enter experience gained from prior successful interviews, and disastrous once

36. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Role models,Heroes Mentors Mentors Friends, peers Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Financial security Family Family Health & Appearance Health & Appearance 3.Family & Friends 3.Family & Friends • Consult Family & friends • perhaps they can give • pointers on blind dates • Consult Family & friends on • their experience in similar • interviews • . 4.Worst case scenario 4.Worst case scenario • If the date is a disaster, • you will learn how to • behave next time • Also, she is not the • only girl in town! • If you fail the interview, there • are 6 others in the pipe line. • What you learn can be added • to point of reference for • the next interview 5.Best case scenario 5.Best case scenario • If successful, it will be • a beginning of a great • relationship, and perhaps • falling in love • If successful you are going • to be praised & will see • your future ahead of you

37. 6. Imagining a new scenario for the event In both cases you are energized, you did your homework, you are less nervous more positive, and more confident

38. Traits VS. State Emotional traits VS. Emotional state

39. Emotions vs. logic (cognition) Marketing temptations Logical Cognitive Emotional Impulsive Tug of internal war

40. Joke on changing opinion • Cowboy and the lesbian http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/med/VideoWidget8.htm tequila http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20071221/MULTIMEDIA/283841756 PDST article in New England journal of medicine http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/358/5/453 www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/97 Dan Gilbert The brain tripled in size in 2 million years Added new structure Prefrontal cortex, in Frontal lobe: simulator http://www.iraqwarveterans.org/ptsd.htm

41. Some Clipart

43. The Bar of Conscious Energy Focus Background thoughts and feelings Focus Background thoughts and feelings Related to activities in the cognitive centers Related to activities in the emotional centers Denotes positive feeling Denotes negative feeling Denotes neutral feeling

44. The Bar of Conscious Energy Cognitive centers Emotional centers Related to activities in the cognitive centers Related to activities in the emotional centers Background thoughts and feelings Focus The Bar of Conscious Energy Denotes positive feeling Denotes negative feeling Denotes neutral feeling

45. The Bar of Conscious Energy Cognitive centers Emotional centers Related to activities in the cognitive centers Related to activities in the emotional centers Background thoughts and feelings Focus The Bar of Conscious Energy Denotes positive feeling Denotes negative feeling Denotes neutral feeling

46. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance Balanced energy reservoir (support system)

47. Faith: Spirituality, Religion, God Role models,Heroes Mentors Friends, peers profession, job, acomplishments Financial security Family Health & Appearance Balanced energy reservoir (support system)

48. Points of reference • Emotional “scars” • Emotional “medals” • Life normal Experiences

49. The double S principle Energy level Easing off medication Fear of being dependent Suspicion Drug addiction Unhealthy food Trust Healthy food Physical activity : running Rehabilitation program Physical activity program Months, years • Acknowledge you have a problem you want solved • Incentive, commitment, program • Encouragement, embarrassment • Don’t expect quick fixes

50. Values and faith make life easier Values Suspicion Love Fear of cheating Self esteem negative thoughts Monitoring finances Monitoring movement, email