How can parents, educators, students intervene to stop cyber bullying?

The Question-- • How can parents, educators, students intervene to stop cyber bullying?

Save all evidence of the cyberbullying. Save any email files, instant messaging or chat sessions, and download and save any blog or website material. Try to identify the bully. E-mail tracing Police What To Do?

Contact police if severe. Contact another responsible adult. Discuss bullying and cyber bullying with teens on a frequent basis. Emphasize the importance of speaking out against such behavior or reporting it to an adult. Response Options:

If another student is involved, bring evidence to the school counselor or the SAP Professional. If another child is the victim give a copy of the materials to the victim’s parents. Listen to teenagers’ suggestions. They are familiar with the teen online world. Students Need To Know That Taking No Stand Is Taking A Stand!

Warning Signs That A Child May Be A Victim Of Cyberbullying • Signs of emotional upset-depression, anger, fear, especially if upset after using the Internet or a cell phone. • Avoidance of friends, school, or other activities. • Decline in grades or other performances..

If you suspect cyberbullying, you may want to conduct an investigation into your child’s online presence. • See isafe.org for how to know if your child has a blog.

Techniques To Remove Or Stop Speech • Send one message stating clearly: “Do not communicate with me again or I will contact the appropriate authorities.” • Contact the ISP, forward messages, and request that account be terminated. • If on a website, notify the site and request removal (Xanga has guidelines under the FAQ section.) • If speech is coming through mobile phone, trace number and contact phone company.

Prevent Your Child From Becoming A Cyberbully • Communicate expectations regarding using the Internet, cell phone, etc. • Communicate consequences such as loss of Internet account or cell phone if such behavior occurs.

Contract that includes: Our family values. Post by the computer and keep the computer in a family room!!!! • Teens can come up with their own language and guidelines for sharing personal information.

Use Filtering or Blocking Functions: • Save copies of I.M.s. • Change email address. • Change phone number. • Contact the parents of the student perpetrator.

What Can Educators Do? • Emphasize the importance of speaking out against bullying in all its forms. • Establish and anonymous reporting box/system. • Bullying prevention programs.

Educators Should Contact Law Enforcement If Cyberbullying Involves … • Death threats of threats or other forms of violence to a person or property • Excessive intimidation or extortion • Threats or intimidation that involve any form of bias or discrimination based on race, religion, gender, sexual orientation • Any evidence of sexual exploiting

Accountability Circles • In some situations where all parties are in agreement, having the student perpetrator meet with the victim and his/her parents can be helpful. • Adult moderators facilitate the meeting. • Opportunity to share remorse , reactions, and understand the impact of the behavior. • Goal is: Successful; resolution of the incident in the form of a written agreement

Even it occurs off campus, there is still support available for victims.

The most important thing to do if you are being bullied is to tell someone. Bullies rely on the fact that you will feel so upset, scared and vulnerable that you won't tell anyone what's happening to you. If you tell somebody, then you no longer have to deal with the problem - or the bad feelings that being bullied creates - alone. Just remember - if you're being bullied, you shouldn't deal with it all by yourself

Key Sites • www.isafe.org • www.cyberbullying.org • www.whois.net (Type what you want to know … Where is the ? What is the?

Resources • Bully OnLine • Staying safe in cyberspace, a page from Bullying Online at www.bullying.co.uk • Cyberbullying - practical advice for parents and schools • Conflict in Cyberspace: how to resolve conflict online by Kali Munro • The Psychology of Cyberspace by John Suler • http://www.haltabuse.org/ • http://www.wiredpatrol.org/ • Links to cyberbullying and Internet violence sites • Links to stalking sites • 26 August 2004: article in New York Times, Internet Gives Teenage Bullies Weapons to Wound From Afar

Defining the Line Between Teasing and Bullying Read the following vignettes -- determine if the situation is teasing, bullying or if you are not certain. Using a playground as the backdrop … imagine being on a busy playground and how you would respond to this situation. If you came upon this situation in school, and without any time to get background and to ask questions, how would you categorize this situation? As teasing, bullying or not sure.

Scenario 1 Paul and Bobby are good friends and spend a great deal of time together. They are in the same 4th grade class. When they are out on the playground, some of the 5th graders joke with Bobby -- because he wears a New Orleans Saints baseball cap. As the teacher you overhear the conversation. Teasing or Bullying? Why? How did you come to that conclusion?

Scenario 2 At first Bobby laughs it off but it continued to the point that others in the class have picked up on the name. So Bobby stopped wearing the cap – but the name seems to have stuck – they call him the “saint”. Paul told Bobby that it is not such a bad thing to be called. He should be pleased – the kids meant no harm. Teasing or Bullying? Why? How did you come to that conclusion?

Scenario 3 The 5th graders now call Bobby gay. At gym class the kids leave Bobby for the last when they are choosing teams – and their gestures indicate they do not want him to play on their team. One boy slammed the ball at Bobby – to hurt him. Bobby was hurt and in tears when the teacher intervened. Teasing or Bullying? Why? How did you come to that conclusion?

Reflections • When was the line crossed? • How did you know? • What are some of the factors that turn teasing into bullying? • When would adult intervention have preempted this situation? • How can we teach children about identifying when the line has been crossed?

How can parents, educators, students intervene to stop cyber bullying?