The Self Arises in Communication with Others

2. The Self Arises in Communication with Others Self-fulfilling prophecies involve acting in ways that bring about our expectations or judgments of ourselves.

3. The Self Arises in Communication with Others • Communication with family • Direct definition is communication that explicitly tells us who we are by labeling us and our behaviors. • Identity scripts are guides for living that define our roles and how we are to play them. • Attachment styles are patterns of parenting that tell children who they are, who others are, and how to approach relationships.

4. Attachment Styles • A secure style occurs when the caregiver responds in a consistently attentive and loving way. • A fearful style is cultivated when the caregiver in the first bond communicates in negative, rejecting, or abusive ways to the child. • A dismissive style is promoted by caregivers who are disinterested, rejecting, or abusive. • The anxious/resistant style is inconsistent treatment from the caregiver.

5. Views of Self Positive Negative Secure Anxious/ Resistant Positive Views of Others Dismissive Fearful Negative

6. The Self Arises in Communication with Others • Communication with peers • Reflected appraisal refers to the idea that we reflect the appraisals that others make of us. • Social comparison involves comparing ourselves with others to form judgments of our own talents, abilities, and qualities.

7. Influences on Self-Concept

8. Influences on Self-Concept Self-Concept

9. The Self Arises in Communication with Others • Communication with society • The perspectives of society (generalized other) are revealed to us in two ways: • Through interactions with others who have internalized cultural values and pass them on to us • Through media and social institutions such as judicial and educational systems

10. The self arises in communication and is a multidimensional process that involves importing and acting from social perspectives.

11. The Self is Multidimensional • There are many dimensions to self: • Physical • Cognitive • Emotional • Social roles • Sense of morality

12. The Self is a Process • We are not born with selves but acquire them. We change again and again during life. We are self renewing and ever growing. • Ego boundaries define where an individual stops and the rest of the world begins. • Babies literally have no ego boundaries.

13. The Self Internalizes Social Perspectives • We rely on social perspectives to define ourselves and to guide how we think, act, and feel. • Particular others are specific individuals who are significant to us. • The generalized other is the collection of rules, roles, and attitudes endorsed by the whole social community in which we live.

14. Social Perspectives on the Self are Constructed and Variable • Social perspectives are constructed in particular cultures at specific times. • The constructed and arbitrary nature of social values differs from culture to culture. • Just as our culture shapes us, so we shape our culture. • Each of us has the responsibility to speak out against social perspectives that we perceive as wrong or harmful.

15. Guidelines for Improving Self-Concept • Make a firm commitment to change. • Gain knowledge as a basis for change. • Set goals that are realistic and fair.

16. Guidelines for Improving Self-Concept • Create a context that supports change. • Uppers are people who communicate positively about us and who reflect positive appraisals of our self-worth. • Downers are people who communicate negatively about us and our self-worth. • Vultures are an extreme form of downers. • Self-sabotage involves telling ourselves we are no good, we can’t do something, there is no point, etc.

17. Experiencing Communication in our Lives . . . View the following video clip and then answer the questions that follow based on material presented in this chapter. A script of the scenario can be found at the end of Chapter 3.

18. Identify examples of direct definition in this scenario. • Identify examples of reflected appraisal. What appraisals of her son and daughter does Kate reflect to them? • What do Emma and Jeremy’s responses to Kate suggest about their acceptance of her views of them? • To what extent does Kate’s communication with her children reflect gender expectations in Western culture? • You may go to your student CD that accompanies the text to compare your answers to Julia Wood’s.