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How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better Marriage

Discover how the principles of the Sermon on the Mount can transform your marriage. Learn to prioritize reconciliation over anger, maintain desire for your spouse alone, communicate with transparency and honesty, and embrace generosity over equality.

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How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better Marriage

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  1. How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better Marriage A Study of the Sermon on the Mount.

  2. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality.

  3. Matthew 5:38-42—“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

  4. Purpose of the Law: • It held a man responsible for what he did. • It up held a plaintiff’s right to compensation and justice. • It took vengeance out of the hands of a plaintiff and placed it in the hands of civil authorities. • It mandated that the punishment fit the crime.

  5. “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth” • The Pharisees Perversion of the Law: A Right of Personal Vengeance • Principle Taught by Jesus: We should not resist evil with evil (Romans 12:17, 21)

  6. Instead of Retaliation • Endure Personal Insult • Forgo Personal “Rights” • Go the Extra Mile • Don’t Withhold Benevolence Christians Are NOT Out to Even the Score

  7. Applications to Marriage • Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE • Do we insist on our rights? (1 Cor. 9:4-5) • Do my rights outweigh my mate’s needs? • I cannot control my mates’ actions, but I’m responsible to God for my actions and character (Ref. Eph. 5:28-29; 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Pet. 3:1-2; Eph. 5:33) • Do we focus on giving or receiving?

  8. Applications to Marriage • Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE • Grace based marriages are focused on forgiveness not scorekeeping • Scorekeeping keeps tabs on the smallest infractions • Scorekeeping results in bitterness

  9. Applications to Marriage • Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE • Grace based marriages are focused on forgiveness not scorekeeping • Grace = FORGIVENESS

  10. Three Reasons to Forgive • Relationship with God • Relationship with My Mate • Seeing the Results of Forgiveness in Marriage

  11. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It.

  12. Love (agape) • More than a feeling • Seeks the highest good • Is active If we can love our enemies when they don’t deserve it, then we can love our mates when they are “undeserving” of it.

  13. “You Shall Be Perfect, Just As Your Father in Heaven Is Perfect” • God loves us based upon who He is (Ref. Rom. 5:8) • We love others based upon who we are

  14. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It.

  15. The Sermon on the Mount: • Matthew 5:21-48—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes teaching. • Matthew 6:1-18—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes practices.

  16. The Pharisees Manifest Pride and Hypocrisy Through • Their giving of alms to be seen by men. (vv.1-4) • Their prayer life. (vv.6-15) • Their practices when fasting. (vv.16-18)

  17. Matthew 6:1-34 Threats Against True Righteousness • Matthew 6:1-18—Hypocritical Behavior. • Matthew 6:19-34—Materialism.

  18. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism.

  19. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. • Be Fair with Criticism.

  20. Be Fair with Criticism • Jesus is not forbidding all judging (John 7:24; Matt. 18:15-17; Matt. 7:15-20) • Jesus is forbidding the “fault finding” spirit (Matt. 7:1-5) We would do will to apply this principle to our marriages

  21. Double Standards? • In child rearing? • In money management? • In maturity? • In communication with in-laws? Marriages face enough serious issues without mates manufacturing a few more.

  22. PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program.) • Escalation • Invalidation • Negative Interpretations • Withdrawal And Avoidance

  23. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. • Be Fair with Criticism. • Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse.

  24. Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage. • Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority. • Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone. • Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part. • Communicate With Transparency And Honesty. • Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality. • Show Love When The Other Person Is Least Deserving Of It. • Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism. • Be Fair with Criticism. • Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse. • Observe the Golden Rule in Marriage.

  25. PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program.) • Escalation • Invalidation • Negative Interpretations • Withdrawal And Avoidance

  26. Conclusion: • Matthew 7:13-14 speaks of two paths. • Matthew 7:15-19 speaks of two kinds of fruit. • Matthew 7:24-27 speaks of two types of foundations.

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