Disciplining of Black African Children

Disciplining of Black African Children Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Objectives • To understand the views of some African parents regarding discipline. • To explore why we should discipline and not punish our children • To explore some strategies of disciplining and improving behaviour of our children • To bring to light the impact of these strategies on our children Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Views about discipline What are your views about discipline? Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Discipline not Punish Effective discipline begins with a true understanding of the difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment is a negative consequence for inappropriate behavior. Punishment paints the parent as a harsh dictator rather than as a respected authority. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Discipline not Punish Discipline looks forward to the future • ‘If we as parents discover ways to teach our children without demeaning them, yelling at them or hitting them, we create space to empower them to learn how to amend an error with penalty but without violence’. (Harriette Cole) Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Discipline not Punish Discipline deals with bad behavior by teaching the child why their behavior is unacceptable while also teaching them self-control. When a parent shows control over their emotions, it teaches the child that they are capable of doing the same. Discipline should be positive and emphasize what the child should do instead of focusing on what they shouldn’t. Discipline works best when it is memorable and incorporates a lesson. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Ways to improve behaviour Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Parenting Pyramid • Where on the pyramid should each of the following be placed and why? • Discipline • Family rules • Special time • Praise and rewards Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Parenting Pyramid Your child's behaviour Use selectively Discipline Family rules Does a better job than criticism. Praise and reward Use in abundance Special time Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Special Time • What is special time and why do our children need it? • How can we as black parents give our children this? • What good could special time do for your child? • What will make it hard to give special time? Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Praise and reward • Giving praise and encouragement to our children is vital for their confidence and self esteem. • Praise does a far better job than criticism and builds confidence and self respect. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Principles of Praise • Do it immediately • Label the good behaviour • Be consistent • Combine verbal praise with physical affection • Try and find something daily • Really mean it!! Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Family Rules Rules are important and help us know what is expected of us. It encourages responsibility and respect. Children behave well and feel secure because they know their boundaries. • Simple rules for the whole family • To be discussed and accepted by everyone in the family • Do you keep the same rules forever? Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Family Agreement • Write five rules the whole family will agree and adhere to • What will you do to get these established at home? Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Discipline • The soft ‘No’-spoken with authority and firmly • Give a choice- help children to see there are good and bad outcomes to how they behave • Loss of privileges- it has to be something that matters to the child; otherwise it won’t work. This is particularly good with older children. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Discipline • Choose 3 situations that apply to your family • Which strategies could you use? Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Empowerment Points • Balance warmth and nurture with firmness and control • Balance giving freedom and autonomy with restriction and limits. • Positively reinforce all positive behaviours. • Use reasoning and explanation when trying to get the child to obey. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Empowerment Points • Give children alternate options for behaviours instead of simply saying “No.” • Employ discipline consistently. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Impact on children • Grow to be responsible and disciplined individuals that will help shape the generation to come. • Discipline helps to build self-esteem, giving a child the confidence to make better decisions in the future. Prepared and presented by Ola' Okeowo

Disciplining of Black African Children