By the end of the workshop, you will learn…

2. By the end of the workshop, you will learn… • Bullying is not child’s play. • Bullying is not just “teasing.” • Bullying behavior is not a “normal” rite of passage. • Bullying, harassment, and relational aggression is serious business. • Bullying is against the law. • Bullying isn’t just a “youth problem.”

3. Bullying IS Preventable! • Bullying prevention education can make a school a safer place to learn and grow. • Bullying prevention can influence positive academic performance. • Bullying prevention education can change a school’s climate, promote healthy relationships, teach a life skill, and ultimately enhance your community. It may also save lives! • Healthy, respectful relationships with good role models and mentors could change the world!

4. What Do You See?

6. Reducing Drug Use • Creating Alternatives • Peer Resistance/Refusal Skills • Drug Prevention Education • Stress Management • Building Caring Communities • 40 Developmental Assets • Parental Education • Community Involvement • Safe School Climate • Training and Awareness • Safe School Committees • Building Relationships Developing Basic Life Skills • Developing Policies • Providing Information • Student/Parent Handbook • Enforcement/Consequences • Teaching Anger Management • Conflict Resolution • Peer Mediation • Bullying Prevention

7. Group Discussion Assignment • How would you define “bullying behavior?” • What types of things do you think bullies do? • Why do you think some students engage in bullying behavior? • What happens to students who are being bullied? • What roles do bystanders play in watching the bullying behavior? • How do bullying incidents affect the whole school?

8. Did You Know? Children who grow up in homes where violence is present are: • 6 times more likely to die by suicide. • 24 times more likely to be sexually assaulted. • 60 times more likely to engage in delinquent behavior as an adult. • 1,000 times more likely to be an abuser themselves. Source: You’re Hurting Me, Too! The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

9. “Violence in the schools is a reflection of violence that occurs in the larger community and society.” • The National Network of Violence Prevention Practitioners tells us that school-based violence prevention programs require: • an early start, • long commitment, • strong school leadership, • parental involvement, • community links/partnerships, and • culturally sensitive and developmentally • appropriate approaches.

10. Life Skills Children who do not have adequate life skills, or coping skills, will use whatever means they have to deal with challenges and problems, whether social or not. These needed skills include: • Anger management • Dealing with disappointment • Healthy relationships • Communication • Conflict resolution • Decision-making • Impulse control

12. Hierarchy of Needs

14. Are You Watching For the Signs of A Troubled Youth? • Social withdrawal. • Excessive feelings of isolation and being alone. • Excessive feelings of rejection. • Being a victim of violence. • Feelings of being picked on and persecuted. • Low school interest and poor academic performance. • Affiliation with gangs or antisocial groups. • Serious and detailed threat of violence. • Uncontrolled anger. • Patterns of impulsive and chronic hitting. • Excessive use of violent games, music, and readings. • History of discipline problems. • Past history of aggressive and prejudicial attitudes. • Drug and alcohol use. • Inappropriate access to, possession of, and use of firearms. • Cruelty of animals.

15. What is Violence? Violence is any mean word, look, sign, or act that hurts a person’s body, feelings or things. Bullying IS a form of violence.

16. What is Bullying? • Bullying is repeated and uncalled-for aggressive behavior, often unprovoked meanness. • Bullying is a behavior designed to threaten, frighten or get someone to do something they would not normally do. • Bullying is usually directed by a stronger student against a weaker one, meaning an imbalance of power exits.

17. Did You Know? • Bullies identified by age 8 are six times more likely than non-bullies to be convicted of a crime by age 24 and five times more likely to end up with serious criminal records by age 30. • Students have reported that 71% of the teachers or other adults in the classroom ignored bullying incidents.

18. Types of Bullying • Physical • Social/Emotional – relational aggression • Verbal • Sexual • Electronic – cyberbullying • Bullying is learned behavior.

19. “Critical thinking is the “best tool against hate.” (Tiven, 2003) • Youth can be coached to use problem-solving skills for bullying. • The more they think before pressing the send key, the less likely they will be to disseminate a photo or message that will cause trouble and hurt reputations.

20. Myths Surrounding Bullying • Only boys bully • Once a bully, always a bully • Low self-esteem • Low income families • Always physical aggression • Low academic students • Agitated and aggressive • Happens away from school • Fighting back will deter

21. What is Cyberbullying? Children and youth can cyberbully each other by: • E-mails • Instant messaging • Text or digital imaging messages sent on cell phones • Web pages • Blogs • Chatrooms or discussion groups • Other information communication technologies Sometimes referred to as on-line social cruelty or electronic bullying.

22. Cyberbullying vs. Traditional Bullying A cyberbully: • Does not have to be more powerful than the target. • Can act once. • Is restricted to the use of written words and images. • Needs no immediate feedback or satisfaction. • Might not ever risk bullying in person. • Is shielded by anonymity and may act in unexpectedly coarse and cruel ways.

23. Bullying in the Age of Technology The Center for Disease Control uses the term “electronic aggression” to describe violence that occurs electronically. Cyberbullying is harassment using technology, and can include social networking sites such as Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter. Bash Boards and voting or polling booths are also used to harm.

24. Cyber Threats “Cyber threats” are either direct threats or distressing materials that raise concerns that the person may be considering committing an act of violence against others or self.

25. Misuses of Technology and the Cyberbullying Problem • Creates bullies who would never harass face to face. • Inspires a new degree of brutality. • Instantly recruits a ready audience of bystanders. • Sends messages that are global and are irretrievable. • Makes tracking and responding more difficult. • Adds a new hesitation for “reporting “ for fear of restrictions on the use of technology. • Helps create or support a new set of social norms.

26. New Social Norms • I can tell all. • I can hide and be somebody else. • Everybody is doing the same thing. • It is all a game…a joke…no big deal. • I am invisible and you are invisible. • Online is just another world. • I can do online what I cannot do in person. • It is not my fault. I did not start it. I just passed it on. • I am not big, popular, or strong, but I can use a computer. • I cannot get caught.

27. Recent Studies • The average 13 to 17 year old currently sends more than 2,000 text messages per month. • Two-thirds of all teens use text messaging. • The average age to first own a cell phone is between 9 and 10. • The average age to borrow a cell phone is 8. • By age 12, three-fourths of all children have their own cell phone. • 43% of teens have been victims of cyberbullying. Source: Wired Safety Survey

28. More Studies • Two-thirds of tweens (age 13 to 17) took pictures with their camera phones last year. • 81% of 12-year-old cell users sent text messages in last 12 months. • More than half of parents do not apply any parental controls offered by service providers.

29. Online Jargon a.k.a. (also known as) - cyberslang, electronic language, email style, geek-speak, hi-tech lingo, hybrid shorthand, interactive written discourse, netspeak, slang, slanguage, textese For more cyber language definitions, visit <www.netlingo.org>.

30. Can You Decipher These Text Messages? MIRL PLZ DIKU <3 RU18 P911 TDTM OLL 8 831,459,143 KPC 182 LOL PA TAW ASL TTUL FWB Source: <www.netlingo.com>

31. Deciphering Texts • KPC- Keep Parent Clueless • 182 – I Hate You • LOL – Laughing Out Loud • PA – Parent Alert • TAW – Teachers Are Watching • ASL – Age, Sex, Location • TTUL- Talk To You Later • FWB – Friends With Benefits

32. Deciphering Text Messages • MIRL – Meet In Real Life • PLZ – Please • DIKU – Do I Know You? • <3 – Heart • RU18 – Are You 18? • P911 or PA – Parent Alert • TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me • OLL – Online Lover • 8 – Oral Sex • 831, 459, 143 – I Love You

33. Forms of Cyberbullying • Sending mean, vulgar, or threatening messages or images. • Posting sensitive, private information about another person. • Pretending to be someone else in order to make that person look bad. • Intentionally excluding someone from an online group. (Willard, 2005) Source: <www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov>

34. How Cyberbullying Can Affect Schools

35. Possible Effects of Cyberbullying (Kowalski and Limber, 2008) • Study of 931 students in 6th – 12th grades • Findings: - Children who were cyber “bully/victims” had the highest rates of anxiety, depression and school absences. - Children not involved in cyber bullying had the highest self-esteem and grades and the fewest symptoms of health problems.

36. Signs of Bullied Youth • Returns from school with damaged or missing clothing, books or belongings • Has unexplained cuts, bruises or scratches • Has few, if any, friends • Appears afraid of going to school • Has lost interest in schoolwork • Complains of headaches or stomachaches • Has trouble sleeping or has frequent nightmares • Appears sad, depressed or moody • Appears anxious or has poor self-esteem • Is quiet and passive • Nervous and combative

37. Normal Peer Conflict and Bullying Normal Peer Conflict • Equal peer or friends • Happens occasionally • Accidental • Not serious • Equal emotional reaction • Not seeking power or attention • Not trying to get something • Remorse – will take responsibility • Effort to solve the problem Bullying • Imbalance of power; not friends • Repeated negative action • Purposeful • Serious with threat of physical or emotional harm • Strong emotional reaction from victim and little or no emotional reaction from bully • Seeking power, control, or material things or power • No remorse – blames victim • No effort to solve the problem Source: Bully-Proofing Your School Johnson Foundation/Hazelden <www.hazelden.org>

38. How Do People Bully? • Name calling • Using racial slurs/put downs • Cornering and harassing • Writing mean notes • Making threats • Embarrassing someone • Destroying someone’s things • Shoving, hitting, pinching • Giving mean looks • Leaving someone out • Starting rumors • Making someone do things they do not want to do • Picking on people • Graffiti with people’s names • Bystanders when someone is being victimized • Cyberbullying

39. Female Aggression By age 11, girls undergo a “drastic shift” in the ways they relate to others. • Aggressive girls use conscious manipulation, such as spreading gossip and rumors, with even MORE stealth and purpose. • More physical aggression is seen at this age with girls often settling matters of jealousy and revenge among their peer groups and cliques by punching and fighting.

40. Relational Aggression (RA) • A term developed in early 90’s by Dr. Nicki Crick. • It refers to “emotional violence” and bullying behaviors focused on damaging an individual’s social connections within the peer group.

41. Sexual Harassment Examples: • Making suggestive comments and gestures • Showing sexual graffiti, notes and pictures • Spreading sexual rumors • Touching or grabbing of body parts • Demanding sexual acts or sexual assault, and rape • Posting, e-mailing, or texting unwanted sexually exploitative material

42. Effects of Sexual Harassment • Feeling of fear, anger, or powerlessness • Loss of self-confidence • Lower grades • Withdrawal from friends • Depression • Isolation • Mistrust • Hyper vigilance

43. Stopping Sexual Harassment • Tell the harasser to stop. • Talk to people you trust; enlist their help. • Talk to the Title IX Coordinator for your school. • Make a list of incidents. • Keep any notes and pictures, emails, or text messages. • Keep a track of where and when things happen, who was there, and how you felt. • Write a letter or e-mail to the harasser. • Describe the behaviors you consider sexual harassment, how they made you feel, and that you want it to stop. • Have an adult deliver the letter or e-mail it. Keep a copy.

44. What is Sexting? Sexting is sending nude or sexually suggestive pictures and accompanying text via cell phones. Even though the message may be meant for a person, it can be forwarded to anyone. Possible long-term consequences include: • Felony charges for child pornography and ending up on a sexual predator’s registry for life. • Potential employers often look at online profiles. • School admission offices also check online.

45. What is Cyber Sexting? Using built-in cameras or web cams to show live sexual activity.

46. Research • 22% of girls have sent nude or semi-nude photos of themselves. • 52% of girls says it is a sexy present to their boyfriends. • 39% of teens sent sexually suggestive text messages or e-mails to someone. • 29% of teens believe exchanging sexy content is expected to date or hook-up. • 40% of teens sent pictures as a joke. Source: 2008 National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Network

47. What Must Parents Do To Prevent Cyberbullying? • Keep your home computer in easily viewable places. SUPERVISE! • Talk regularly with your child about their online activities. EXPLAIN! • Tell your child you may review his or her online communications if you think there is reason for concern. INFORM! • Install parental control-filtering software and/or tracking programs. INSTALL! • If it occurs, keep evidence of the cyberbullying for authorities. REPORT!

48. What Must School Districts Do? • Make certain staff knows the bullying/cyberbullying prevention policy. Refer to Oklahoma law. • Include cell phone communications and consequences. • Make social contracts with students on telecommunication use. • Consider using student pledges/staff pledges. • Offer educational resources to students, staff and parents. (see free resources at SDE web site) • Offer a safe way to report. (SAFE CALL HOTLINE) • Enforce school policy with consequences. • Keep parents informed.

49. Best Practices for Prevention At School • Incorporate comprehensive prevention programs which include cyberbullying messages in school-wide bullying prevention efforts. • Assess cyberbullying using an anonymous questionnaire to determine prevalence. Look for age and gender trends. Collect detailed information in informal group discussions. • Provide staff training ; including in depth training for administrators, counselors, and media specialists.

50. Best Practices for Prevention By Schools • Develop clear rules and share with students, staff, and parents. Require signature and date reviewed. • See model policy at <www.usdoj.gov/criminal/cybercrime> • Spend class time on cyberbullying; Use class meetings to discuss bullying and peer relations. • Use students as experts. Youth involvement and leadership sends an important message. Peer-to-peer engagement is effective.