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Debrief over Personal Narrative Essays

Debrief over Personal Narrative Essays. Monday, October 17, 2011. Ideas. Add detail: name details, number details, sensory details, and comparison details Dialogue Lesson Length Placement in paper Significance of lesson (must be meaningful!). What to do at the end?. Put your lesson.

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Debrief over Personal Narrative Essays

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  1. Debrief over Personal Narrative Essays Monday, October 17, 2011

  2. Ideas • Add detail: name details, number details, sensory details, and comparison details • Dialogue • Lesson • Length • Placement in paper • Significance of lesson (must be meaningful!)

  3. What to do at the end? • Put your lesson. • Don’t: • Say, “That’s the time I went to King’s Island.” • Write “The End.” • Say, “Thank you for reading my paper.”

  4. Titles • “Hook” before the “Hook” • Good Titles: • Jumping off the Board - The Tower • The Rapid River - Set the Hook! • Going into Summer - Saved by a Backhoe • Rough Day - Radical Rottweiler • Meeting Friends - Victory in Defeat • Party at the Lake • Bump, Set, & Rain Forest Café

  5. Figurative Language – Similes • Remy was eating away like a hungry bear that just woke up from hibernation. • As we consumed our breakfast like hyenas on a prairie dog… • …in a voice like silk. • The rides were so tall; they looked like the skyscrapers in New York. • The crowd screamed like banshees. • I sprang up like a kangaroo.

  6. Figurative Language – Metaphors • The pool water was soap on my tongue. • I thought that we had a lake in our backyard.

  7. Good Description • I thought my insides were going to fall out. • My heart thumped at the beat of the drums. • The house was noisy and alive. • The snow on the ground was deep enough to sink an elephant. • It was only about 7:30 a.m., so the sun was just peaking out over the clouds, setting off a light orange gleam in the puffy white clouds.

  8. Organization • Transition words • Require a comma after (ex: Then, we meandered toward the Diamondback.) • Use a variety of different transitions… • Proper paragraphing – new paragraph any time there’s a: • Change in speaker • Change in location • Lapse of time • Change of topic

  9. Word Choice (“Purple” Words) • WC = stuff, things, ‘til/‘till/til/till, good, lots, bunch, ‘cause, etc. • Purple Words = aroma, cleansed, otiose, epic, destination, awe, replied, muttered, stunning, blazing, breathtaking, replica, enthusiastic, trembling, incline, resumed, atrocious, solemnly, famished, scrambled, plagued, ease, serene, hollered, gasped, tilted, fulfill, proceeded, burrowed, unison, sauntered, pupil, scorching, phobia, & more!

  10. Sentence Fluency • How a paper sounds when it is read out loud • How to have exemplary sentence fluency: • Start sentences different ways. • Have a variety of different lengths of sentences. • Combine short sentences! • “We left at 7:30 a.m. We were going to King’s Island. It was my mom, my dad, my two aunts, and me.” • “On a warm sunny morning at 7:30 a.m., my mom, dad, two aunts, and I departed for a fun-filled day at King’s Island.”

  11. Conventions • a.m. or AM/ p.m. or PM = correct • Do not start sentences with “And,” “But,” or “So.” • No run-on sentences & fragments! • No slang or informal language (sometimes permissible in dialogue). • Remember to proofread before submitting your final copy! • No using “you” or “your” in essay.

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