Maintaining Your Spiritual Health In Ministry

1. Hazardous to Your Health: Pastoring Through Church Challenges Philip G. Monroe, Biblical Seminary, with Philip G. Ryken, Tenth Presbyterian Church Maintaining Your Spiritual Health In Ministry

2. Seminaries capably teach: • Biblical studies • Theology • Systematic, Historical, and Practical • Missions • Preaching • Counseling • Leadership

3. But, we struggle to provide • Renewal opportunities • Real support for real ministry challenges • Adequate preparation and practice in dealing with yourself during ministry stress

4. Session map • A few observations from a counselor/consultant to pastors • Spiritual care teams: A simple but revolutionary plan for pastor care • Interview with Philip Ryken regarding his experiences with ministry stress and spiritual care • Practical helps for you and your congregation • Q & A

5. Use this session to • Reflect on your spiritual and relational health in ministry • Reflect on the opportunities and challenges facing your ongoing spiritual vitality • Consider one way you increase y0ur spiritual vitality by being more connected to others

6. Initial observations • Pastors love serving God and others • Ministry stress is real! • Visionary leaders suffer! “Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how I would have…” • Attacks from within the congregation hurt the worst! • “advice, encouragement, ideas” are really criticisms • Pastors expect themselves to handle everything well

7. More observations • Many report feelings of failure, discouragement, and emotional flatness • Invalidate praise from others • Most hate conflict, feel lonely • Have roller-coaster emotions • Love the Gospel but feel distant from it because they partake only to prepare for teaching/preaching

8. Origins of stress in pastoral ministry • Criticism/conflicts • Political pressures • Legalism in the church • Counseling crises • Too much work, not enough help • Administrative duties • Finances • Sexual temptation • Family distress • Health • Loneliness • Spiritual dryness • The “fishbowl” • Boundary intrusions

9. …but the greatest stressor is… • Unrealistic expectations, • by self and others (actual vs. ideal ministry duties) • Leading to trying harder, • “I do not know where my work starts or where it ends” • Neglecting self/family for kingdom work *Did you know? 84% of pastors believe their family should be healthier than others Statistic from www.ellisonresearch.com

10. Some unrealistic expectations • It shouldn’t be that hard to maintain a robust prayer life • I’m smart. I am prepared to respond well to future ministry challenges • I can be a good leader and family man at the same time • I can manage my own spiritual renewal by myself

11. Two Lies of the Church/Pastor • Pastors (and their families) ought to be able to manage their spiritual lives on their own • Pastors (and their families) know best what they need for spiritual renewal and will ask for it when necessary

12. The problem… In short, our most significant failing in the church is that we (a) leave leaders alone to manage their own spiritual lives and (b) fail to encourage them to their primary calling to prayer and the Word.

13. The result… • Expectations + stress + isolation = ? • tired, starving shepherds • Did you know? • Stress from a lack of social support is more predictive than financial stress of negative mood and physical ailments?

14. In Search of a Revolution • The Truth: Most of you know that you need brothers and sisters to sustain your spiritual growth • The Truth Too: Most of you have not developed relationships with those willing pursue your spiritual health • Does anyone know you enough to write you a “Dear Timothy” letter?

15. One Solution: Spiritual Care Teams • A group of wise, prayerful, friends willing to wade into your life to act as shepherd and friend, to support, advise, encourage worship, and hold accountable • A group who moves beyond the generic to your hidden parts—your strengths and weaknesses—and who loves you anyway • A group who loves enough to listen and speak at the right times

16. Some thoughts from Dr. Ryken • What challenges in pastoral ministry have the largest negative impact on your spiritual vitality? • What disciplines or practices have been most helpful in maintaining your spiritual vitality? • What is your experience with a spiritual care team? • Its focus? Its structure? What does it do best? Need improvement? Inside vs. outside care?

17. Nuts and Bolts of SCTs • Who • Those who can give a monthly commitment • Spiritually mature, not reporting to you or family and not merely mutual accountability • Both sexes? • How • The group to meet without you to pray • Meet for worship as well as “business” • Meet with family/spouse if appropriate

18. Nuts and Bolts, Con’t. • What • Develop list of concerns, joys, growth areas, questions to ask, etc. • Review schedule matters • Regularly talk about temptations of all kinds • Focus on the 4 Rs • Remembering what God is doing in your life • Realistically assessing your behavior and your beliefs • Repenting so that our public and private life matches • Repeatedly submit to your primary work: prayer and the Word!

19. SCTs won’t work if… • You aren’t honest with self and the team • They are too enamored with you or their own counsel • The group function like a business committee • Prayer is an afterthought • The focus becomes overly negative

20. But I don’t have anyone to ask Consider… • Coaching: Mick Noel and C4ML • Mentoring: David Wiedis (ServingLeaders) • Counseling: Diane Langberg & Associates • Peer Groups: Sign up for pilot groups if interested

21. Considering Christ: Heb. 12:3 • The cure for your ministry weariness comes not from mental rest but from meditational activity! What a strange cure for mental weariness….I should have expected an invitation to mental rest….The weariness of the body is cured by slumber; but the weariness of the mind can be cured only by stimulus George Matheson, Leaves for Quiet Hours, 141

22. Contact info • For slides: www.wisecounsel.wordpress.com • For referrals: pmonroe@biblical.edu, or 215.368.5000, x142 • www.biblical.edu