Communication Climate

1. CommunicationClimate

2. Emotional tone of a relationship Not specific activities The way people feel about each other as they carry out activities Communication climate

3. Confirming communication • Messages that convey valuing • You exist, you matter, you are important • Disconfirming communication • Showing lack of regard • I don’t care about the situation, I don’t like you, you’re not important to me Confirming and disconfirming

4. Recognition • Acknowledgement • Endorsement • Birthdays, anniversaries, death days Confirming message

5. Ignoring another’s characteristics Verbal mistreatment Generalized complained Interrupting Irrelevant, impersonal, ambiguous responses Red herring Disconfirming messages

6. Climates in a relationship take on a life of its own and grow Positive or negative spiral

7. Guarding oneself from attack • Verbal • Nonverbal • Avoiding dissonant information Defensiveness

8. Jack GibbCategories of Defensive and Supportive Behaviors

9. Gibb Categories • Defensive Behaviors • Evaluation • Control • Strategy • Neutrality • Superiority • Certainty • Supportive Behaviors • Description • Problem Orientation • Spontaneity • Empathy • Equality • Provisionalism

10. Allowing a person to maintain their dignity in public • Assertive vs. Aggressive Communication • Shared Meaning Process • Perception Checking • Listening Cycle • Clear Message Format • Understanding Styles of Talk Saving Face

11. Two forces in conflict = • Content – subject, information, story • Outcome – solution, resolution, results • Rarely is the THIRD FORCE considered #3 - Process – How you communicate, style, awareness, skills Pursues Understanding/Builds Agreement/Positive communication climate The Third Force

12. An 80/20 Rule: Look Inside First It Takes One Person… Two assumptions

13. Style I – Small Talk, Shop Talk Style II – Control Talk Style III – Search Talk Style IV – Straight Talk Styles of Talk

14. Style I – Small Talk, Shop Talk • Connect pleasantly, sociably • Move in and out of conversation • Focus on routines/daily tasks • I/It relationship • Conventional listening • Attend partially • Acknowledge casually • Documenting • Assertive or Aggressive? • Climate? • Phatic communication - denoting speech used to express or create an atmosphere of shared feelings, goodwill, or sociability rather than to impart information.

15. Style II – Control talk • Fight talk, Spite Talk • Focus on Other • Take Charge • Attack directly or indirectly • Actively fight, passively flight • Force change • Reactive listening • Interfere with story • Listen selectively • Act before understanding • Assertive or Aggressive? • Climate?

16. Style III – Search Talk • Brainstorming • Explore data and ideas • Pose Possibilities • Saving face • Explorative listening • Ask open questions • Assertive or Aggressive? • Climate?

17. Style IV – Straight talk • Open, honest, level communication • Focus on self- accountably • Use talking skills to disclose awareness • Attentive Listening • Use listening skills to tune into other • Understand before acting • Assertive or Aggressive? • Climate?