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The Child, The School and the Family System

The Child, The School and the Family System. Brendan O’Brien M.I.A.C.P. Down Through the Ages. Child can flourish when there is Order Love flows down Love gets blocked along the line Pain too is carried down the line Mobile as a good image. Child in School. Child loves the family first

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The Child, The School and the Family System

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  1. The Child, The School and the Family System Brendan O’Brien M.I.A.C.P.

  2. Down Through the Ages • Child can flourish when there is Order • Love flows down • Love gets blocked along the line • Pain too is carried down the line • Mobile as a good image

  3. Child in School • Child loves the family first • Everyone has a Family Story • School can’t solve all problems • Food for thought • School needs to respect the family story – no matter what! • New lens

  4. Conscience and the Family • Conscience is about Belonging • Different conscience for each group • We feel Good and Innocent when we belong • We feel Guilty when we don’t • Bombs in Tube Stations • Child in Crime Family wants to belong

  5. The Weak and the Strong • The Weak carry the pain • Footsoldiers • General Operatives • Lay People • Children • The Strong have a less stringent conscience

  6. Soul of the Family • The Right Order • Exclusion • Death/Loss • Debts from Former Times • All Unconscious • Not Quite Right Inside • Drawn towards Failure/Death

  7. Concrete Family Events carry Pain/Trauma • Exclusion • Pregnant girl • Suicide • Death of a Child • Unfair Deals – Land • Psychiatric Illness • Entanglement/Identification • War/Famine

  8. Gift of Life • Connection to Both Parents – No Matter What! • Absent Fathers are missed • Faithful Child • Overtly follows Mum • Unconsciously Follows Dad • Anger/Emptiness

  9. Man/Woman • Girl in the Realm of the Women • Boy in the Realm of the Man • Irish Men!! • Irish Mothers

  10. The Family and the School • Talk to the Child • Conflict between Home/School is eased by • Absolute Respect for Family • We cannot replace the parents • Honour the Fate of the Family

  11. Who Supports you? • Who minds the child? • A Good Image supports the child • A Photo of those behind me • Parents/Grandparents

  12. Who has a Place? • Children • Those who have died • Stillborn Children • Parents • Uncles/Aunts • Grandparents • Previous Partners • Excluded People

  13. Age is Honourable • Those who come first have priority. • Parents give. • Children receive. • Parents are big. • Children are small. • Both parents give Life • Everybody has a place.

  14. Balance in Giving and Taking • The person who gives feels good and innocent. • The one who receives feels indebted and guilty. • Imbalance often leads to Separation and Difficulty

  15. Parents come first Parents Give – Children Receive Children try to mind parents None of their business. Mythical thinking! Keep a Good Order

  16. Special Needs Children • A difficult Fate – Like Death of a Child • Parents Can Separate – Blame Self or Other • Siblings may choose not to live life fully • Guilt • Mythical Desire to Balance Things Out • Can we allow “What Is”?

  17. What is a Constellation? • Client with a family Issue • Sets up representatives • Hidden dynamics of family system may be seen • Restoring Order • Love can flow more freely

  18. Experiential work • A different mindset. • Touches a different part of us. • Heart/Intuition/Subtle perceptions. • Open exploration. • Suspend knowing. • Allow wonder.

  19. Anthony • Aged 13 • Out of Primary School after 4th class. • Very angry and aggressive outbursts. • Has been arrested in stolen car. • Very caring and involved mother. • Not the Full Story!!

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