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The Child, The School and the Family System. Brendan O’Brien M.I.A.C.P. Down Through the Ages. Child can flourish when there is Order Love flows down Love gets blocked along the line Pain too is carried down the line Mobile as a good image. Child in School. Child loves the family first
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The Child, The School and the Family System Brendan O’Brien M.I.A.C.P.
Down Through the Ages • Child can flourish when there is Order • Love flows down • Love gets blocked along the line • Pain too is carried down the line • Mobile as a good image
Child in School • Child loves the family first • Everyone has a Family Story • School can’t solve all problems • Food for thought • School needs to respect the family story – no matter what! • New lens
Conscience and the Family • Conscience is about Belonging • Different conscience for each group • We feel Good and Innocent when we belong • We feel Guilty when we don’t • Bombs in Tube Stations • Child in Crime Family wants to belong
The Weak and the Strong • The Weak carry the pain • Footsoldiers • General Operatives • Lay People • Children • The Strong have a less stringent conscience
Soul of the Family • The Right Order • Exclusion • Death/Loss • Debts from Former Times • All Unconscious • Not Quite Right Inside • Drawn towards Failure/Death
Concrete Family Events carry Pain/Trauma • Exclusion • Pregnant girl • Suicide • Death of a Child • Unfair Deals – Land • Psychiatric Illness • Entanglement/Identification • War/Famine
Gift of Life • Connection to Both Parents – No Matter What! • Absent Fathers are missed • Faithful Child • Overtly follows Mum • Unconsciously Follows Dad • Anger/Emptiness
Man/Woman • Girl in the Realm of the Women • Boy in the Realm of the Man • Irish Men!! • Irish Mothers
The Family and the School • Talk to the Child • Conflict between Home/School is eased by • Absolute Respect for Family • We cannot replace the parents • Honour the Fate of the Family
Who Supports you? • Who minds the child? • A Good Image supports the child • A Photo of those behind me • Parents/Grandparents
Who has a Place? • Children • Those who have died • Stillborn Children • Parents • Uncles/Aunts • Grandparents • Previous Partners • Excluded People
Age is Honourable • Those who come first have priority. • Parents give. • Children receive. • Parents are big. • Children are small. • Both parents give Life • Everybody has a place.
Balance in Giving and Taking • The person who gives feels good and innocent. • The one who receives feels indebted and guilty. • Imbalance often leads to Separation and Difficulty
Parents come first Parents Give – Children Receive Children try to mind parents None of their business. Mythical thinking! Keep a Good Order
Special Needs Children • A difficult Fate – Like Death of a Child • Parents Can Separate – Blame Self or Other • Siblings may choose not to live life fully • Guilt • Mythical Desire to Balance Things Out • Can we allow “What Is”?
What is a Constellation? • Client with a family Issue • Sets up representatives • Hidden dynamics of family system may be seen • Restoring Order • Love can flow more freely
Experiential work • A different mindset. • Touches a different part of us. • Heart/Intuition/Subtle perceptions. • Open exploration. • Suspend knowing. • Allow wonder.
Anthony • Aged 13 • Out of Primary School after 4th class. • Very angry and aggressive outbursts. • Has been arrested in stolen car. • Very caring and involved mother. • Not the Full Story!!