5 Things You Should Know About Your Kid’s Brain Throughout Childhood

1. 5 Things You Should Know About Your Kid’s Brain Throughout Childhood As a parent, you have the privilege to watch your child grow and mature throughout life. It starts with hearing their first heartbeat to holding their tiny hand, supporting them through their first crush, cheering them on through their graduation from college and beyond. You dream of their future and do your best to help them be successful. No parent wants their child to suffer or be unprepared for their life, right? One of the major components of success as an adult is that the foundation was laid in your childhood to know how to think, plan and cope with life. I wish I had taken the time when mine were little to understand the importance of their brain formation and development. 1. The younger the brain, the easier it can be changed. Early life experiences allow for over 1 million neural connections to be formed every single second. After the first few years of life, pruning begins. Imagine how you trim back the branches of a plant to allow for healthy growth in the proper areas; brain pruning is the same. It gets rid of unnecessary connections and narrows its focus on the most efficient and most used circuits. Remind yourself in those tough moments (you know, those moments where your quick, impatient response is to yell and say “What were you thinking?!” or “Do I have to ask you again?”) that discipline and parenting are purposeful! Think through the words and discipline chosen, be constructive and calm. Discipline is not punishment; it is teaching your child right from wrong and how their actions lead to consequences. Teaching your child is simply allowing their brain to build patterns on which the rest of their life will build upon. The initial circuit is simple, but it forms the foundation for complexity in the future. For example, language acquisition is initially with basic sounds, like “ma” and “da.” But eventually, your child will speak in full sentences (and ask you "why?" a million times a day!), expand their vocabulary, gain inflection, and be able to fully express himself. (Which will one day include, “Thanks, Mom!”)

2. 2. The brain becomes less flexible over time. Let me guess; you’ve already noticed that? Me too! Some days I wonder if I have dementia at 43! It’s increasingly difficult to learn new information, memorize new skills, or create new habits as the body (and brain) ages. Although the brain always has the ability to modify and change, it is not as easy later in life. Are you as thankful for your smartphone (with its calculator and Google) as I am? Kids have the most flexible brains! Expose your kids (of any age) to new languages, music, skills, and knowledge. They are smart and capable and usually can do more than you think! Renting a kid’s Spanish video taught my 5-year-old niece all of her numbers and colors and foods...in just a few days! What are your child's interests? Figure it out and find activities that support those interests. Free or Self-directed learning is one of the best ways to keep your child's brain flexible and active. Does your son like History? Why not challenge him to learn more about fascinating historical topics and create a fictional story based on what he learned? Does your child make music with every pencil she picks up and taps with? Sign her up for musical instrument lessons. Does your child have no clue what they are interested in? Put a few ideas on pieces of paper, stick them in a bowl and have your child select one. Then why not watch videos or read books or take a class on the selected topic? Take advantage of their brains while they are still pliable. Although they may not say, “Thank you” right now, I bet they will in the future! (P.S. The best part about exposing your kid to new things is that you also get to learn alongside them!) 3. Emotional, social, and cognitive functions are all intertwined. Imagine your child’s brain like a bowl of spaghetti pasta. One strand represents their emotions, another their social abilities, and others for cognitive functioning, language development, and physical skills. You’d have a hard time distinguishing which strand of noodles are which! In the same way, all of these functions are related, overlapping, and intertwined in your child’s brain. You taught your young toddler how to say “ball” and “please.” You reminded them that it wasn’t safe to climb on the table, hang from the chandelier or to hit their sibling. Now that your kids are school-aged, the lessons are a bit more complex. Nonetheless, each strand of spaghetti touches and interacts with the rest of the pasta in the bowl. It’s so important that you view your child and their life circumstances as a whole bowl of pasta and not just one noodle! The fight with the kid next door may seem like it's only a social skill, but it’s also cognitive functioning (problem-solving) and emotional regulation (“How do I feel? How does my friend feel?”). Learning how to prioritize homework, tasks and chores incorporate cognitive functioning (problem-solving and learning), emotional regulation (having to choose the thing that you don’t most desire), and language skills (sharing how they feel and what steps of action they will take next). 4. It’s nature and nurture. Development and life outcomes are not solely determined by genetics. Rather, genes and experiences work together to shape your growing child’s brain. The environment that a newborn, infant, and toddler is raised in provides such powerful experiences that it can chemically modify how many and to what extent genes are expressed.

3. Wow, did you catch that? A child’s environment can modify how their genes are expressed. (Que the parent guilt for those of us who look back and realize we could've done so much better!) Inheriting family characteristics may explain your hair color or height, but the environment that you choose to raise your child in can override non-physical traits. Choose to emphasize and teach your children self-control, focused attention, healthy emotional coping, and how to learn. These tactics begin in the first year of life but extend throughout all of childhood. It's not too late to teach these lessons or reinforce the ones you've been teaching. 5. Foster executive functioning. I've been learning a lot about executive functioning lately as we dive deep into psychological, developmental and behavioral testing with one of my children. It’s the combination of working memory, mental flexibility, and self-regulation. It is fascinating how critical these three items are to supporting the development of a child into an adult. Working memory is the ability to retain, manipulate, and recall individual pieces of information over a short amount of time. Mental flexibility is what allows someone to stay focused, to shift their attention to a different task appropriately, and to distinguish between various environments. Self-control is being able to control one’s actions, to include resisting impulsiveness and setting reasonable priorities. As we’ve already mentioned, it’s both nature and nurture. And these are the top three key elements to develop in your children throughout their childhood. Focus on these skills during daily habits like meals, bath or bedtime, family gatherings, and extracurricular activities. Transfer ownership and responsibility over to your child. This could be clearing their plate from the table, taking their own shower, helping you cook for a family event, or packing their bag for sports. My oldest son loved making his breakfast every morning. He would wake up and grab an apple, preferably a green one, then he would munch away on it as we walked to the chicken coop. He would chase the chickens yelling "bak bak" and he would laugh hysterically. Then we would get a couple of eggs and head to the kitchen where he would crack the egg in a bowl, add a tiny bit of milk, a little salt and stir it up with the whisk. Then he would put the scrambled eggs into the pan and cook his breakfast. Oh, did I mention he was a toddler when we started this routine? It only took a few times before he could do all the steps from start to finish by himself. I just now understand how imperative executive functioning is in a child's life. My daughter, who is going through the testing, struggles with these 3 functions and has a hard time compared to other children her age. Something in her development just hasn't clicked and so we continue to work with her and provide support and opportunities to learn these executive functioning skills. My point is, children develop at different stages and when your child is capable and when they are willing to learn, be ready to teach and they will learn. In the meantime, just keep modeling the best choices possible. Provide your kids support and education while also modeling these 3 behaviors. A home that supplies opportunities for growth and sets the foundation for which your kids can build their future is crucial. We all know they are watching (even how we put on our shoes or react when we’re angry!). Start small and gradually offer more freedom.

4. Take action. A bonus of 5 things to do to support your kids. Your kid’s brain is fascinating! It’s constantly growing, developing, and changing, and you can play a role in that! 1.Provide the best environment possible for their development. (hint: Makarios Community School is all about supporting a child's development and growth) 2.Keep in mind how intertwined the different categories are in their “bowl of spaghetti” brain. 3.Remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and support your child's climb to self-actualization. 4.Emphasize independence, working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control. 5.But most of all love your kids, support their desires to learn, and provide them with an environment of growth! If you are looking for a community of staff and students with the common goal of supporting each other, check out Makarios Community School. Mutual trust and respect are core community values and are reflected in student and staff members participating in the democratic process. Makarios Community School is an environment in which young people are free to learn both independently and collaboratively according to their own interests and abilities. Sources: http://info.makariosschool.com/blog/5-things-you-should-know-about-your-kids-brain- throughout-childhood Human Brain Development Image from http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/inbrief-science-of-ecd/