Bart van den Dolder

2. Bart van den Dolder

4. Drenthe College, location Meppel • About 800 students • Age: about 16 – 21 yearsold • Vocationaleducation • Several courses of study

5. My workexperience 1975-1990: teacher (Dutch language) 1990-2000: leader of several teams and member participation council 2000-2007: timetablingand planning 2007-2012: chairmanworks council andconfidentialadviser retired in September 2012

6. Confidentialadviser

7. The Dutch lawobligesevery school to have : a complaints procedure a complaintscommittee confidentialadvisers(male/female)

8. Several kinds of complaints: School organizational frequentlycancelledlessons problemswithexams conflict with a teacher No complaintsfor a confidentialadviser!

9. Several kinds of complaints: Unwantedbehaviour Par excellence: complaintsto consult a confidentialadviser!

10. Confidentialadviser Tasks: • point of contact in case of complaints of unwantedbehaviour • first intake of a complainer • advising a complainer • look for a solution togetherwithcomplainer • examine the case: what does the complainer want?

11. Confidentialadviser • assisting a defendant • complainer: confidentialadviserA • defendant: confidentialadviserB

12. 18+ or 18- Under 18 : • obligedtoinformparents or guardians Over 18 : • notobligedtoinformparents or guardians • in practice: parents or partner are informed

13. Choice of a complainer • Mediation • Report a complaint • File a complaint • In case of a punishable act: alwayscomplaintand report to the management the police

14. Mediation • the case is not a sexual crime or a punishable act • bothparticipants want a solution • bothparticipants act voluntarily • bothparticipants accept a solution • agreementswillberegisteredandverified

15. Report Depending on the seriousness, report to • the supervisor of the class • the leader of the team/manager • the director • the board

16. Complaint Depending on the seriousness, report to • the school management • the complaintscommittee • the police

17. Procotol • who must beinformed? • whathappenswith the complainer? • whathappenswith the defendant? • whichauthorities must beinformed?

18. Secrecy • confidentialadvisercannotpromisesecrecy • confidentialadvisercanpromisecarefullness • confidentialadvisershouldbeabletorefer the complainertoan expert • confidentialadvisermust inform the complainerwhowillbeinformedandwhy • confidentaladvisermust sort out the complainerswish of secrecy

19. Unwantedbehaviour Sexualintimidation Every kind of verbal, nonverbal or corporalbehaviourwitha sexualintentionwhich has the aimtoharm the dignity of somebody, especiallywhencreating a threatening, hateful, humiliating, disparaging or insulting attitude.

20. Unwantedbehaviour Manifestation of sexualintimidation: • verbal, sexualintimidation • hostiledisparagingbehaviour • suggestiveimputebehaviour • (internet) porn • digital sexualintimidation • physicalviolence • violation • rape • loverboys • banga list

21. Unwantedbehaviour Agressionandviolence Incidents in whichsomebody is bothered, threatened or attackedverbally or nonverbally, psychologically or corporally.

22. Unwantedbehaviour Manifestation of agressionandviolence Verbal: • cursing • insulting • hostility • threat Fysical: • kicking • biting • grabbing • armedviolence

23. Unwantedbehaviour Psychological: • bothering • intimidating • irritating • stalking

24. Unwantedbehaviour Discrimination Every kind of making a difference, exclusion, restriction or preference of somebodybecause of race, ethnicorigion, age, handicap, gender of sexualnature. Manifestation of discrimination Making a difference in one of the mentionedaspects.

25. Unwantedbehaviour Bullyingandtormenting All kinds of intimidating behaviour in a structural way, directedagainstsomeonewho is notabletodefendhimselftothisbehaviour.

26. Unwantedbehaviour Manifestation of bullyingandtormenting • socialisolation • mocking • gossip • cyberbullying

27. Bullying has a snowball effect Bullying is the worst way of unwantedbehaviour. The victimcannotdefendhimselfanddoes notknow a way out.

28. Bullying Bullyingcan drive someonetocommitsuicide.. Last year we have seenthistwice in Holland.. In December 2012 in ourowncity of Meppel..

29. Fleur Bloemen

32. Poemby Fleur At myprevious school I was bulliedverymuch I was different than the otherones Different from the rest I don’tknowwhy It began as a game It got out of hand Andto me itended in a hell It went on forthreeyears Andnotjust name callingeveryday Which I alsoheareveryday I had hadenough of it

33. Poemby Fleur I had had it up tohere NowI’mawayfromthere Withgreatpleasure Deep in myheartI’mafraid Becauseitmightrepeatitself Then I will feel thatpainagain And I never want thatany more

34. A classmatesays: “I finditsoterriblypathetic. She was alwayscalledfatty”

35. Silentmarch

36. MayorWestmaas: • Bullying is hurtful • Bullyingcausespsychologicaldamage • Bullying is villainouslyscratchingsomeone’s soul

37. Whatparentsandteacherscan do: • give the person support andunderstanding • make the feeling debatable • give the person self-confidence • make complimentsto the person aboutthings he is good at andencouragehim • refer the person to a confidentialadviser • talk withbullies • make bulliesaware of the impact of theirbehaviour • do nottolerate the behaviour of bullies • do notbeafraidtosanction

38. House rules It is normal: - to respect eachother - to help eachother in case of problems - to take care of eachother It is normal: - to have a pleasantschooltime - to feel safe at school

39. Profile confidentialadviser At random: • listen patiently • advise • considerate • confidential • independant • communicate • honest • distanceto the case • not a private investigator

40. Audience Thanksforyour attention!