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PARENT FORUM NIGHT School Cliques: The REAL Survivor Series

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PARENT FORUM NIGHT School Cliques: The REAL Survivor Series

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    1. PARENT FORUM NIGHT School Cliques: The REAL Survivor Series THE GMS PTO and Cheryl Curry, GMS Counselor, invite you to join us for a workshop and discussion on school clique culture among boys and girls, its make-up, pitfalls, and strategies for helping students survive the “social jungle.” WHEN: Tuesday evening, Jan 14th Registration at 6:30 p.m., program at 7:00 p.m. WHERE: Geneva Middle School Choir Room

    3. SCHOOL CLIQUES THE REAL SURVIVOR SERIES! Presented by Cheryl Curry, M.S.Ed. Professional School Counselor

    4. WHAT IS A CLIQUE? AN EXCLUSIVE GROUP

    5. CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIQUES Usually form between ages 10 & 15 Stem from an overwhelming desire to fit in Revolve around interests w/ friends and peers Deal in social power Not everyone is welcome excluding becomes the primary activity

    6. CHARACTERISTICS CONTINUED… Peers serve as a panel of judges who define each other based on identifiable traits (clothing, music, activities, inside jokes, rituals) Formed around 1 or 2 leaders Have strict rules Feed off a super-sensitivity to criticism and a need to belong

    7. TYPES OF CLIQUES

    8. THE POPULARS “I’M ALWAYS WORRIED” 35% of population Beautiful, athletic, charming, affluent Set the tone for the entire class

    9. THE POPULARS Have the most friends – exclusive Socialize earlier than others both in and out of school Appear to have cornered the market on fun Have prestige (via romances, scholastic achievements, athletic exploits) from teachers and classmates

    10. THE FRINGERS “WHERE’S MY SELF RESPECT?” 10% of population Hoverers Mimic the dress and the rules Believe that ˝ a loaf is better than none Welcome temporary inclusion

    11. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES “I’M FREE AND CONTENT” 45% of population Non-exclusive Small groups of several friends apiece Tend to feel most content

    12. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction Can be labeled into subcategories Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”

    14. SCHOOL CLIQUES THE REAL SURVIVOR SERIES! Presented by Cheryl Curry, M.S.Ed. Professional School Counselor

    15. WHAT IS A CLIQUE? AN EXCLUSIVE GROUP

    16. CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIQUES Usually form between ages 10 & 15 Stem from an overwhelming desire to fit in Revolve around interests w/ friends and peers Deal in social power Not everyone is welcome excluding becomes the primary activity

    17. CHARACTERISTICS CONTINUED… Peers serve as a panel of judges who define each other based on identifiable traits (clothing, music, activities, inside jokes, rituals) Formed around 1 or 2 leaders Have strict rules Feed off a super-sensitivity to criticism and a need to belong

    18. TYPES OF CLIQUES

    19. THE POPULARS “I’M ALWAYS WORRIED” 35% of population Beautiful, athletic, charming, affluent Set the tone for the entire class

    20. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction Can be labeled into subcategories Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”

    21. THE LONERS “I’M MAD AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.” 10% of population No friends Social hermits Envious Susceptible to adolescent depression, drug abuse, violent subcultures Often have hidden talent with time to hone that talent

    22. “BULLY CHIC” THE DARK SIDE OF CLIQUES

    23. CLIQUE BULLIES… Occupy the power center of the group Manipulate cliques as a means to bully Are supported by media images

    24. FEMALE BULLIES Taught that “nice” is preferable Therefore, honesty and straight talk is avoided Use friendships as their weapon of choice Scapegoat, backstab, belittle, spread rumors, fights, sexually harass, exclude

    25. THE POPULARS Have the most friends – exclusive Socialize earlier than others both in and out of school Appear to have cornered the market on fun Have prestige (via romances, scholastic achievements, athletic exploits) from teachers and classmates

    26. THE FRINGERS “WHERE’S MY SELF RESPECT?” 10% of population Hoverers Mimic the dress and the rules Believe that ˝ a loaf is better than none Welcome temporary inclusion

    27. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES “I’M FREE AND CONTENT” 45% of population Non-exclusive Small groups of several friends apiece Tend to feel most content

    28. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction Can be labeled into subcategories Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”

    30. SCHOOL CLIQUES THE REAL SURVIVOR SERIES! Presented by Cheryl Curry, M.S.Ed. Professional School Counselor

    31. WHAT IS A CLIQUE? AN EXCLUSIVE GROUP

    32. CHARACTERISTICS OF CLIQUES Usually form between ages 10 & 15 Stem from an overwhelming desire to fit in Revolve around interests w/ friends and peers Deal in social power Not everyone is welcome excluding becomes the primary activity

    33. CHARACTERISTICS CONTINUED… Peers serve as a panel of judges who define each other based on identifiable traits (clothing, music, activities, inside jokes, rituals) Formed around 1 or 2 leaders Have strict rules Feed off a super-sensitivity to criticism and a need to belong

    34. TYPES OF CLIQUES

    35. THE POPULARS “I’M ALWAYS WORRIED” 35% of population Beautiful, athletic, charming, affluent Set the tone for the entire class

    36. MIDDLE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLES Assorted measures of confidence and satisfaction Can be labeled into subcategories Nearly all surveyed felt resentment or even contempt for the popular group Time Magazine categorized them and labeled them “unpopular”

    37. FEMALE BULLIES Taught that “nice” is preferable Therefore, honesty and straight talk is avoided Use friendships as their weapon of choice Scapegoat, backstab, belittle, spread rumors, fights, sexually harass, exclude

    38. MALE BULLIES Use less emotion and more action Broadcast strengths Spread rumors Fight Use weapons Deliberate humiliations Sexual harassment

    39. MEDIA IMAGES “She’s All That” “Bring It On” “Popular” “The In-Crowd” “Beverly Hills 90210”

    40. MEDIA IMAGES “The Breakfast Club” “10 Things I Hate About You” “American Pie” Coverage of the Oscars People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People Fashion Magazines

    41. BELIEF SYSTEMS BEING TEASED IS SOMETIMES BETTER THAN BEING IGNORED THE BIGGEST BULLIES ARE IN THE POPULAR CROWD, SO THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT CLOTHES AND LOOKS MATTER POPULAR DOES NOT EQUAL NICE

    42. THE VICTIMS PASSIVE VICTIM “I don’t know how to fight back.” PROVACATIVE VICTIM “People think I deserve it.” ONE-DIMENSIONAL VICTIM “If only I wasn’t …”

    43. MIDDLE SCHOOLERS’ CRITERIA FOR BEING POPULAR… BOYS… 1. Athleticism 2. Stature 3. Sense of humor GIRLS 1. Looks 2. Clothes 3. Vivacious or bubbly personality

    44. HOW WE CAN HELP Diagram the cafeteria Play “whatever happened to…” Have students identify the clique leaders Have students explain criteria for admission Identify emotions and their triggers Video and bibliotherapy Write a recipe for how to starve a bully

    45. HOW WE CAN HELP Role playing Humor Confounding the bully Positive self-talk Make the bully look stupid Help them conform in safe ways

    46. HOW WE CAN HELP Give them precise vocabulary to define moments of humiliation (theft, libel, etc.) Encourage the silent majority to speak up Teach tolerance Mentoring programs Avoid overprotecting—it sends the message “you are incompetent” Form a school club (circle of friends, natural helpers, the respect club, the peace place)

    47. HOW WE CAN HELP Recruit the parents Survey the size of the problem Use performance drama Ask the librarian to use the display area Provide curriculum ideas to tie into lessons Invite the children to speak in groups

    48. HOW WE CAN HELP Lunch bag notes such as tips for practicing social skills or idea cards Help them distinguish between social acceptance and personal acceptance Identify other areas where belonging exists (family, home life, bedroom) and use them to balance the need for belonging and personal acceptance

    49. HOW WE CAN HELP Gather info., empathize, then use it to empower the child (e.g.: what excellent powers of observation you have!) Process the child’s belief system

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