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How Could It Be So Wrong When It Feels So Right? Revenge, Forgiveness, and Human Nature

How Could It Be So Wrong When It Feels So Right? Revenge, Forgiveness, and Human Nature. Michael E. McCullough University of Miami Coral Gables, Florida. “Which do you usually do when you feel that someone has deliberately done something wrong to you?” Try to Forgive 48%

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How Could It Be So Wrong When It Feels So Right? Revenge, Forgiveness, and Human Nature

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  1. How Could It Be So Wrong When It Feels So Right? Revenge, Forgiveness, and Human Nature Michael E. McCullough University of Miami Coral Gables, Florida

  2. “Which do you usually do when you feel that someone has deliberately done something wrong to you?” Try to Forgive 48% Try to Overlook It 45% Hold Onto Resentment 14% Try to Get Even 8% Forgiveness in the Population (Poloma & Gallup, 1991)

  3. Last Time in the Previous Month You Were Really Angry (GSS, 1996)

  4. What About Serious Transgressions?(Time Survey; April 5, 1999)

  5. Kosovar Albanians’ Feelings of Revenge Against Serbs, 1999 Cardozo et al., JAMA, 2000

  6. Revenge as Pervasive Cause and Effect in Human Behavior • Desire for Revenge as a Pervasive Cause • Driver Aggression • Arson • Workplace Aggression • Handgun Ownership And Use • Bullying and School Violence • Desire for Revenge as a Pervasive Effect • Sexual Abuse • Murdered Love One • Injustice in the Workplace

  7. “Good Natured”, Demonic Males Or Both?

  8. How Should We Think About the Relationship Between Forgiveness and Revenge? • Mirror Opposites? • Disease and Cure (psychiatric metaphor)? • Separate problem-solving modules?

  9. Perhaps Revenge and Forgiveness Are Answers to Different Questions Different if/then rules may govern the perceived appropriateness of forgiveness and revenge Forgiveness: Close/interdependent relationships, relatively mild transgressions Fosters inclusive fitness through protection of kinship relations and cooperation with non-kin Revenge: Distant relationships (or none), relatively severe transgressions Fosters inclusive fitness through protection of self and close others

  10. A Functional Theory of Revenge • Revenge is an adaptation • Revenge is an idea that preserves a victim’s motivation to harm a transgressor long after the physiological consequences of the harm have subsided • Revenge was beneficial at some point in the development of the species

  11. Motivation to Seek Revenge is a Redundant Biobehavioral System • Preparedness for Reciprocity (Cognitive, Cultural) • Coalitional Psychology (Perceptual, Cultural) • Honor and Deterrence (Social/Motivational) • The Lust for Enemies (Physiological/Motivational)

  12. Preparedness for Reciprocity • Reciprocity is how we “punctuate” exchanges of aggression between groups • Positive and Negative Reciprocity in Non-Human Primates • Reciprocity in child development: • Piaget • Children are prepared to learn tit-for-tat solutions to social dilemmas • Stone age economics

  13. Coalitional Psychology • Natural categories • Minimal groups (kids and chimps) • Non-equivalence of morality for in-groups and outgroups • Dehumanization of outgroups

  14. Honor and Deterrence • Revenge and 9/11 • Cultures of Honor (these are everywhere) • Revenge, forgiveness, and public communication of internal states (Frank’s costly signaling)

  15. The Lust for Enemies • Revenge, like lust, is goal-directed (approach system). Interrupted goals bug us. • Left prefrontal activation during anger • Revenge as mood management (Catharsis) • Displaced aggression

  16. Can We Forgive Enemies: How Culture Shapes and Directs Biology • Southern discomfort • Socializing the lust for revenge • Dogs who rear tiger cubs • People who forgive enemies?

  17. Interpersonal Theory and Interpersonal Forgiveness • Interdependence/ Commitment • Perceived Friendliness • Perceived Dominance (Power to Harm)

  18. Fostering Independence • Easy (Inter-religious) Solutions: Intermarriage, Godparenting • Harder (Intra-Religious) Solutions: Economic interdependence

  19. Affiliation and Dominance • Personality of forgiver vs. personality of transgressor • Forgiveness positively correlated with affiliation and negatively with dominance axes • Factors that alter perceptions of transgressor’s friendliness and power to harm should facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation

  20. Altering Perceptions of Friendliness and Dominance Costly concessions Surrender of resources for doing harm (Montenegro and other cultures) Apologies and remorse Human victors (not the vanquished) can offer appeasement gestures!

  21. Thank You!

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