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Wellcome Science

Wellcome Science. www.wellcome.ac.uk/publications. Communication and Communication Skills/ Part 2. Nataliya Lishchenko. Effective Communication Makes Life Works!!!. Fundamental Communication Skills. What is Listening? .

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Wellcome Science

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  1. Wellcome Science www.wellcome.ac.uk/publications

  2. Communication and Communication Skills/ Part 2 Nataliya Lishchenko

  3. Effective Communication Makes Life Works!!!

  4. Fundamental Communication Skills

  5. What is Listening? • listening: the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention • Effective communication is 2-way • depends on speaking and listening

  6. Listening vs. Hearing • Hearing- physical process; natural; passive • Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill • Listening is hard! You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

  7. Fast Facts • We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm • 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful • 20% of the time, we remember what we hear • More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success • Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

  8. Percentage of Communication

  9. Why Be A Good Listener? • To be recognized and remembered • To feel valued • To feel appreciated • To feel respected • To feel understood • To feel comfortable about a want or need

  10. Listening promotes being heard …”Seek first to understand, then be understood.” - Stephen Covey (Author of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”)

  11. Listening creates acceptance and openness …conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

  12. Listening leads to learning …openness encourages personal growth and learning

  13. Listening reduces stress and tension …minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

  14. Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution …much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.

  15. Comparing Mind Reading Rehearsing Filtering Judging Dreaming Identifying Advising Sparring Being Right Derailing Placating What kind of behavior do you do when you’re not listening?Listening Blocks:

  16. Bad Listening Habits • Criticizing the subject or the speaker • Getting over-stimulated • Listening only for facts • Not taking notes OR outlining everything • Tolerating or creating distraction • Letting emotional words block message • Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

  17. Effective Listening Four Steps to Effective Listening: • Active Listening • Listening with Empathy • Listening with Openness • Listening with Awareness

  18. What is Active Listening? • Active Listening means that you seeking to understand. You make sure that you are getting the correct message without passing judgment. It includes • “Opening the door” to good conversation • Drawing out a speaker with questions • Reflecting feeling that you hear and see • Paraphrasing to capture content

  19. Active Listening (4 Steps) • Listen • Question • Reflect-Paraphrase • Agree or desagree

  20. Step 1: Listen • To Feelings As Well As Words • Words – Emotions -- Implications • Focus on Speaker • Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted • What Is Speaker Talking About? • Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others? • Look At Speaker • Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

  21. Step 2: Question • 3 Purposes • Demonstrates you are listening • Gather information • Clarification • Open-ended • Tell me more? • How did you feel? • Then what happened?

  22. Probing with open-ended comments / questions draws the speaker out Ask to – • Show interest (I’d like to hear your opinion on this.” • Encourage more explanation (What do you think the problem is?) • Keep the person talking (Tell me more…)

  23. Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase • Reflect What Is Said (In your words) • Reflect Feelings • Reframe • Capture the essence of the communication • Remove negative framing • Move toward problem solving

  24. You can paraphrase using such lead-ins as: • What I hear you saying is... • In other words... • So basically how you felt was... • Let me understand, what was going for you was... • What happened was... • Do you mean...?

  25. PARAPHRASE the speaker to acknowledge the story and capture the content. EXAMPLE: “Let’s see if I got this right. You’re upset because you think we’re going off in the wrong direction and you want to clarify our objective before we write this assignment. Is that right” OR CAUTION: Don’t parrot back; be sure to put the message in your own words – that’s active listening.

  26. Try to paraphrase every time to obtain these five dividends: • Peolpe deeply appreciate feeling heard • Paraphrasing stops escalating anger and cools down crisis • Paraphrasing stops miscommunication. False assumptions, errors, and misinterpretations are corrected on the spot • Paraphrasing helps you remeber what was said • When you paraphrase you’ll find much harder to compare, judge, rehearse, spar, advice, derail, dream, and so on.

  27. Step 4: Agree • Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing • Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It! • Solution Is Near!

  28. Activity • Speaker – talk for 2 min. • Listener – listen using the skills we’ve discussed

  29. You can paraphrase using such lead-ins as: • What I hear you saying is... • In other words... • So basically how you felt was... • Let me understand, what was going for you was... • What happened was... • Do you mean...?

  30. Giving a Feedback 3 important rules of giving feedback: • It has to be immediate • Honest • Supportive

  31. Evaluating Speeches:Being Compassionate in Criticizing • evaluation approach: • start by saying something positive • focus on the speech, not the speaker • target your criticism* • finish with saying a positive words

  32. Listening With Empathy “Everyone is trying to survive...” You don’t have to like everyone or agree with them, but recognize that you do share the same struggle... Every seconds of the day you are trying to survive both phisically and psycologically...

  33. Listening With Openness • A scill you can learn • Behaive like an anthropologist talking with a person from another planet or country, trying to understand this person with his/her belives, religion, customs • Do not judge

  34. Listening with Awareness 2 components: • To compare what’s being said to your own knowledge of history, people, and the way things are • To hear and observe congruence

  35. To be a Good Listener People want you to listen, so they look for clues to prove that you are. • Maintain good eye contact. • Lean slightly forward. • Reinforce the speaker by nodding or paraphrasing • Clarify by asking questions. • Actively move away from distractions. • Be committed, even if you’re angry or upset, to understanding waht was said

  36. For Couples: • Use reciproctal communication – you can really hear each other: • When you’re discussing a topic that is conflict area for you, take turns being the speaker and the listener, switching places after five minutes

  37. When you are a speaker: • Explain your point of view briefly • Avoid blaming and name calling. Don’t accuse and don’t focus on your partner’s failings. • Talk in terms of yourself and your experience. Focus on what you wnat and what you feel.

  38. When you are the listener: • Give your full attention so that you can really understand youyr partner’s feelings, opinions, and needs. • Don’t diagree, argue, or correct anything your partner says. • You can ask questions to clarify an issue, but not to dabate and make counterpoints.

  39. So...what? • Reciproctal communication can slow down communication so that conflicts are less likely to escalate while it promotes clarity about the needs and feelings of each partner.

  40. Thank You And... BE HAPPY IN YOUR LIVES!

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