How do you recognize a relationship?

1. BELL RINGER How do you recognize a relationship?

2. Reproductive Health & Safety Education Lesson 5: Building Healthy Relationships

3. healthy relationships ACTIVITY • The three “C’s” below are basic foundations of any great relationship. • Think about these words. • In your group, discuss and record how you would portray a normal relationship versus a abnormal (not normal) relationship using these categories? • Communication • Cooperation • Compromise

4. General Relationship Characteristics • Unhealthy • Intimidating • Emotional Abuse • Physical Abuse • Isolation • Denying responsibility • Using someone • Economic Abuse • Lying • Bullying • Hazing • Disrespect • Healthy • Shared responsibility • Honesty • Accountability • Trust • Support • Respect • Non-Threatening behavior • Fairness • Caring

5. building healthy relationships • Healthy relationships take time, commitment and effort. • Most healthy relationships don’t progress like a fairy tale. • There are hard times in every relationship. • It is how people work together through the difficult times that separates successful relationships from failed relationships.

6. building healthy relationships • “As you sit side by side through this roller coaster of life, remember to: scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loop-the-loops, and enjoy every twist and turn --for the ride is better because you share it together.” • Author Unknown

7. PAIR/SHARE • First, by yourself, answer these: • List 3 non-negotiables that a friend must have for you to consider the relationship healthy. • List 3 non-negotiables that a romantic relationship must have for you to consider the relationship healthy. • List 3 non-negotiables that a family must have for you to consider the relationship healthy. • Now compare your answers with a person next to you. • Discuss how they are alike and different.

8. Class Discussion Why do people accept different standards in relationships?

9. Preventing Unhealthyrelationships Understanding sexual assault & abuse

10. What is Sexual Assault & Abuse? • Sexual assault and abuse is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to, including: • Inappropriate touching • Vaginal, anal, or oral penetration • Sexual intercourse that you say no to • Rape • Attempted rape • Child molestation

11. What is Sexual Assault & Abuse? • Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention. • Examples of this are voyeurism (when someone watches someone in private acts), exhibitionism (when someone exposes him/herself in public), incest (sexual contact between family members), and sexual harassment. • It can happen in different situations:  in the home by someone you know, on a date, or by a stranger in an isolated place.

12. What is Sexual Assault & Abuse? • Rape is a common form of sexual assault. • It is committed in many situations — on a date, by a friend or an acquaintance, or when you think you are alone. • Educate yourself on “date rape” drugs. They can be slipped into a drink when a victim is not looking. Never leave your drink unattended — no matter where you are. Alcohol is the #1 drug! • Attackers use date rape drugs to make a person unable to resist assault. These drugs can also cause memory loss so the victim doesn’t know what happened.

13. What is Sexual Assault & Abuse? • Rape and sexual assault are never the victim’s fault — no matter where or how it happens. — no matter who is involved — males are not excluded (rape & sexual assault happen to both males and females)

14. What do I do if it happens to me or someone I know? • These are important steps to take right away after an assault: • Get away from the attacker to a safe place as fast as you can. Then call 911 or the police. • Call a friend or family member you trust. • You also can call a crisis center or a hotline to talk with a counselor. • One hotline is the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).

15. What do I do if it happens to me or someone I know? • Go to your nearest hospital emergency room as soon as possible. • Do not wash, comb, or clean any part of your body. Do not change clothes if possible, so the hospital staff can collect evidence. Do not touch or change anything at the scene of the assault. • You need to be examined, treated for any injuries. The doctor will collect evidence using a rape kit for fibers, hairs, saliva, semen, or clothing that the attacker may have left behind.

16. What do I do if it happens to me or someone I know? • While at the hospital: • If you decide you want to file a police report, you or the hospital staff can call the police from the emergency room. • Ask the hospital staff to connect you with the local rape crisis center. The center staff can help you make choices about reporting the attack and getting help through counseling and support groups. • Feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and shock are normal. It is important to get counseling from a trusted professional.

17. Who does this happen to? how can it be prevented ?

18. Statistics • A 2005 survey of high school students found that 10.8% of girls and 4.2% of boys from grades 9-12 were forced to have sexual intercourse at some time in their lives.1

19. Risk Factors • Being aware of risk factors around you is important because it helps you know what situations to avoid. • By knowing there are risk factors present you are better able to avoid situations where sexual violence may occur.

20. Individual Risk Factors • These things put a person at increased risk: • Alcohol and drug use • Impulsive and antisocial tendencies • Preference for impersonal sex • Spends time with people that have a hostility towards women • Spends time with men that regard women as less (hyper masculinity) • Childhood history of sexual and physical abuse • Witnessed family violence as a child • Large age differences in romantic relationships (example: female = 15 and male = 19)

21. relationship Risk Factors • These things put a person at increased risk: • Association with sexually aggressive and delinquent peers • Family environment characterized by physical violence and few resources • Large age differences in romantic relationships (example: female = 15 and male = 19) • Emotionally unsupportive familial environment

22. community Risk Factors • These things put a person at increased risk: • Lack of employment opportunities • Lack of institutional support from police and judicial system • General tolerance of sexual violence within the community • Weak community sanctions against sexual violence perpetrators

23. societal Risk Factors • These things put a person at increased risk: • Poverty • Societal norms that support sexual violence • Societal norms that support male superiority and sexual entitlement • Societal norms that maintain women's inferiority and sexual submissiveness • Weak laws and policies related to gender equity • High tolerance levels of crime and other forms of violence

24. Risk Factors • Again, being aware of any risk factors around you is important because it helps you know what situations to avoid. • Having risk factors doesn’t mean you will be a victim of sexual violence. • It just means there are risky situations out there. • You must do your best to make safe choices at all times!!

25. Protective Factors • Protective factors may lessen the likelihood that a person will be a victim of sexual violence.

26. activity: • Brainstorm 10 protective factors that would help a person stay safe and avoid becoming a potential victim of sexual violence.

27. A few Protective Factors: • Avoid using alcohol or other drugs. • Engage in healthy relationships • Practice abstinence. • Avoid being with people or in places that are not safe. • Make safe choices about who to spend your time with and who you spend your time around. • Use the internet carefully by protecting your privacy • Don’t be afraid to assert yourself (speak up and leave) if someone is making you feel uncomfortable.

28. Misconceptions of sexual violenceStatistics from the CDC Sexual Violence Fact Sheet Here • It doesn’t only happen to women • 6% of men reported they experienced sexual coercion at some time in their lives. • It’s not always a stranger • For female victims, perpetrators were often reported to be intimate partners (51.1%) or family members (12.5%). • In the first rape experience of male victims, perpetrators were reported to be acquaintances 52.4% of the time. Stats updated using CDC 2012 data

29. Misconceptions of sexual violence • Victims of sexual violence are not weak. • Sexual violence is NEVER the fault of the victim!! • A victim of sexual violence is not alone! There are people and organizations out there that will immediately help victims of sexual violence. • If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual violence please use today’s lesson to seek the help needed!

30. Reporting sexual assault • To report: • Call 9-1-1 • Go to the Emergency Room (ER) of the nearest hospital

31. Local resources here to help • North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault 811 Spring Forest Road, Suite 900 Raleigh, NC 27609 919 871-1015http://www.nccasa.net/ • Wake Teen Medical Services 505 Oberlin RoadRaleigh, NC 27605-1345(919) 828-0035 www.waketeen.org

32. Local resources here to help • LifeCare Pregnancy Center 1001 Navaho Drive, Suite 101 Raleigh, NC 27609 919 873-2442 http://www.lifecarenc.org/ • SAFEchild 864 West Morgan Street Raleigh, NC 27603 919 743-6140 http://www.safechildnc.org/

33. remember • A healthy relationship is a connection between people that increases well-being, is mutually enjoyable, and enhances or maintains each individual’s positive self-concept. • Healthy relationships are frequently characterized by: • Good communication, Trust, Respect, Honesty, Equality, Compromise, Individuality, Mutually fair problem solving, Understanding/empathy, Self-confidence, Mutual support • CHOOSE TO BE HEALTHY!!!!