Plain Talk: Clear Customer Documents That Work A two-day workshop for Washington s Plain Talk leads July 2005 Washingt

1. 1 Plain Talk:Clear Customer DocumentsThat WorkA two-day workshop for Washington�s Plain Talk leadsJuly 2005Washington Department of PersonnelInstructor: Dana Howard Botka Talk about how they have ideas and solutions and great projects to share as well. I consider this to be a roundtable more than anything. PT Leads. STC Olympia Chpater. The tipping Point. Talk about how we�re going to do a lot of talking. Lots of discussion and sharing of ideas seemed to really help the last group. We�re entering new territory and finding out for ourselves what works. First state to go through this. So we need to talk. Recognize the great work that has been done at Transportation, Revenue, Ecology � and in other agency ruleTalk about how they have ideas and solutions and great projects to share as well. I consider this to be a roundtable more than anything. PT Leads. STC Olympia Chpater. The tipping Point. Talk about how we�re going to do a lot of talking. Lots of discussion and sharing of ideas seemed to really help the last group. We�re entering new territory and finding out for ourselves what works. First state to go through this. So we need to talk. Recognize the great work that has been done at Transportation, Revenue, Ecology � and in other agency rule

2. 2 Agenda Day 1 - 8 a.m. � 4:30 p.m. Looking at the Plain Talk Executive Order Why plain language? Example and discussion Starting your Plain Talk project Choosing and planning your document Lunch Making your revisions legally sound Guest speaker � Office of the Attorney General Writing guidelines (Discussion and exercises)

3. 3 Agenda Day 2 - 8 a.m. � 4:30 p.m. Writing guidelines, continued �Group write� outlines of actual documents Navigating Plain Talk through your agency Lunch Usability testing Conclusion

4. 4 After this workshop, you should be able to: Plan a Plain Talk rewrite Understand basic plain language principles Know what legal issues to watch for Have a plan for navigating your project through the agency Test the usability of new documents Talk ab out how much of the time will be taken up learning those plandugage principles. Exercises. Work on your actual document. I hope to have lots of class discussion and give and take. We�re going to disagree on what�s clear and not clear. Writing is not like math, where you find the �answer.� It�s always a compromise, consensus, evolving process. And frankly, once it�s done, you can bet that the policy has changed or someone on staff alters it. The point is that we start thinking about where the customer is coming from. It�s not enough to have a manager draw up a list of instructions based on �if only they would do all of these things and heed all of my warnings, my paperwork would go smoothly. The answer is to think: How can I reach this customer so that they understand and act? You�ve got to know who the customer is first. How they read, what words are difficult, what designs make a page easy or hard to read. You may decide your cusomters are dumb or lazy = but it really doesn�t matter. What matters is the result. Caveat: What matters to Dana is allowing citizens to understsand what�s going on with their own govt. What their rights are. How to get important legal requirement taken care of etc. We are public servants. This is their govt. Talk ab out how much of the time will be taken up learning those plandugage principles. Exercises. Work on your actual document. I hope to have lots of class discussion and give and take. We�re going to disagree on what�s clear and not clear. Writing is not like math, where you find the �answer.� It�s always a compromise, consensus, evolving process. And frankly, once it�s done, you can bet that the policy has changed or someone on staff alters it. The point is that we start thinking about where the customer is coming from. It�s not enough to have a manager draw up a list of instructions based on �if only they would do all of these things and heed all of my warnings, my paperwork would go smoothly. The answer is to think: How can I reach this customer so that they understand and act? You�ve got to know who the customer is first. How they read, what words are difficult, what designs make a page easy or hard to read. You may decide your cusomters are dumb or lazy = but it really doesn�t matter. What matters is the result. Caveat: What matters to Dana is allowing citizens to understsand what�s going on with their own govt. What their rights are. How to get important legal requirement taken care of etc. We are public servants. This is their govt.

5. 5 Executive Order 05-03 Plain Talk � March 24, 2005 �� we recognize that clear, easy-to-understand communications are essential to good service. We communicate with businesses and individuals through letters, forms, instructions, announcements, publications and other documents � They must be written and designed to they can be easily understood.� Talk about part of GMAP Executive Order is Handout #1 Pass out executive order. Let�s take a look at it. Emphasizes: Documents used by or sent to customers. Not internal Gives some guidance on how to do that. Notice it does not give deadlines or document counts. This is up to you. I�m hoping this really takes off and that we, as a group, can be part of the first state movement to make a concerted effort to make documents clear. It�s a movement that�s been going on since the 70�s and which gained momentum in the 1990s, when there was an explosion of technology and when web sites burst on to the scene. Concise language became imperative and good business sense. Lots of research.Talk about part of GMAP Executive Order is Handout #1 Pass out executive order. Let�s take a look at it. Emphasizes: Documents used by or sent to customers. Not internal Gives some guidance on how to do that. Notice it does not give deadlines or document counts. This is up to you. I�m hoping this really takes off and that we, as a group, can be part of the first state movement to make a concerted effort to make documents clear. It�s a movement that�s been going on since the 70�s and which gained momentum in the 1990s, when there was an explosion of technology and when web sites burst on to the scene. Concise language became imperative and good business sense. Lots of research.

6. 6 Expectations for agencies Choose documents customers read. Develop a Plain Talk plan that will work � and is meaningful -- for your type of agency. Publicize your efforts internally. Ensure readability and �use-ability� of the new documents. Track and measure outcomes.

7. 7 What is Plain Talk? It is plain language, or writing the typical customer can understand and act upon after a single reading. I�m going to give you three examples of customer documents. All instructions for the customer. Let�s talk about what we think. What are their characteristics? VA letter: Too much information Risk classification letter: Terrible tone. Co-payment/MIPS: Unclear instructions MenI�m going to give you three examples of customer documents. All instructions for the customer. Let�s talk about what we think. What are their characteristics? VA letter: Too much information Risk classification letter: Terrible tone. Co-payment/MIPS: Unclear instructions tion that we�re talking about form letters, web pages, documents, instructions. Tell story of women in the rotunda. Talk about how you know that many wof them have already worked extensively on this concept of plain language. It�s not new. We�re just packaging it and publicizing it and institutionalizing it. This kind of training and attention will help you get your work done and make progress at your agency.I�m going to give you three examples of customer documents. All instructions for the customer. Let�s talk about what we think. What are their characteristics? VA letter: Too much information Risk classification letter: Terrible tone. Co-payment/MIPS: Unclear instructions MenI�m going to give you three examples of customer documents. All instructions for the customer. Let�s talk about what we think. What are their characteristics? VA letter: Too much information Risk classification letter: Terrible tone. Co-payment/MIPS: Unclear instructions tion that we�re talking about form letters, web pages, documents, instructions. Tell story of women in the rotunda. Talk about how you know that many wof them have already worked extensively on this concept of plain language. It�s not new. We�re just packaging it and publicizing it and institutionalizing it. This kind of training and attention will help you get your work done and make progress at your agency.

8. 8 Handout #2 Lesson: InstructionsSo � let�s get started. Many of you may have seen this notorious document, because it�s such a famous example. How many have? Let�s talk about it. What qualities does it have? What are the characteristics of the person receiving the letter? What�s the context? What�s the likely reaction? What type of document is it? What is its purpose, in other words? Convey information about a law or policy? Collect information? Give instructions? Issue a warning? Who are the instructions really for? What�s wrong with it? It�s for instruction. How do we like instructions? Its about several sub topics. How can we brek those up? How can we allow the reader to see what it�s all about without reading it from top to bottom?Handout #2 Lesson: InstructionsSo � let�s get started. Many of you may have seen this notorious document, because it�s such a famous example. How many have? Let�s talk about it. What qualities does it have? What are the characteristics of the person receiving the letter? What�s the context? What�s the likely reaction? What type of document is it? What is its purpose, in other words? Convey information about a law or policy? Collect information? Give instructions? Issue a warning? Who are the instructions really for? What�s wrong with it? It�s for instruction. How do we like instructions? Its about several sub topics. How can we brek those up? How can we allow the reader to see what it�s all about without reading it from top to bottom?

9. 9 Handout #3 Then give VA numbers When people read clear information, they believe they�re getting more information, even if it�s a shorter document or web page. 750 letters in a month: 1128 calls 710 calls - 192 What�s the Difference? Old VA Letter Long paragraphs and sentences ALL CAPS in a few places Confusing/hard to understand Directions were for the wrong person It�s actually for the doctor. Privacy rights: they put them in an enclosed brochure. What about the sentence and paragraph length? Count words. No sentence longer than 19 words. Rest are much shorter. How does this help? It makes it easier to read at a glance. How else could you have approached the doc? Talk about �What we need� When we need it.� could be changed to a mjore informative heading if you wanted. New VA Letter Bold headings � san serif font (such as Arial) Chunking White space Took out legal/government jargon Short sentences 1-3 sentences per paragraph Friendlier tone, not as demanding Started out with the �what� and �why� Gives means of contacting for more information Took out privacy act information and referenced the enclosed brochure Handout #3 Then give VA numbers When people read clear information, they believe they�re getting more information, even if it�s a shorter document or web page. 750 letters in a month: 1128 calls 710 calls - 192 What�s the Difference? Old VA Letter Long paragraphs and sentences ALL CAPS in a few places Confusing/hard to understand Directions were for the wrong person It�s actually for the doctor. Privacy rights: they put them in an enclosed brochure. What about the sentence and paragraph length? Count words. No sentence longer than 19 words. Rest are much shorter. How does this help? It makes it easier to read at a glance. How else could you have approached the doc? Talk about �What we need� When we need it.� could be changed to a mjore informative heading if you wanted. New VA Letter Bold headings � san serif font (such as Arial) Chunking White space Took out legal/government jargon Short sentences 1-3 sentences per paragraph Friendlier tone, not as demanding Started out with the �what� and �why� Gives means of contacting for more information Took out privacy act information and referenced the enclosed brochure

10. 10 What about this language? "We ask that you not add risk classifications or rates to your quarterly reports. If your firm's nature of business has changed or you need additional risk classifications added to your industrial insurance account, please contact your account manager by calling 360-902-4817." � TONE: Why is this so hard to read? Who is the customer and what is their enviroment. What tone does it deliver? Talk about how I�ve been mainly focused on short customer documents that give insturctions or information. Do a rewrite? But I think the same principles will apply. Tell them about the copy of Transportations guidelines. Two copies here and will get it online at the Plain Talk site. First: Definie risk classifications for the group: � They are the names of the many different insurance rates employers must pay for their workers, in case they are injured on the job (workers comp). Low physical risk job class like �file clerl� will have a lower premium per working hour than a high physical risk job, like a �logger� or �laborer� or �roofer.� The quarterly report is the form they fill out every month listing their employees hours, risk classes and premium payment. Who�s the customer? Characteristics What type of document is it? � Why is it so hard to read. Does it apply to everyone?TONE: Why is this so hard to read? Who is the customer and what is their enviroment. What tone does it deliver? Talk about how I�ve been mainly focused on short customer documents that give insturctions or information. Do a rewrite? But I think the same principles will apply. Tell them about the copy of Transportations guidelines. Two copies here and will get it online at the Plain Talk site. First: Definie risk classifications for the group: � They are the names of the many different insurance rates employers must pay for their workers, in case they are injured on the job (workers comp). Low physical risk job class like �file clerl� will have a lower premium per working hour than a high physical risk job, like a �logger� or �laborer� or �roofer.� The quarterly report is the form they fill out every month listing their employees hours, risk classes and premium payment. Who�s the customer? Characteristics What type of document is it? � Why is it so hard to read. Does it apply to everyone?

11. 11 How is this different? Has your business changed? Do you have new employees -- or employees who have new job duties? If so, please call us for help before adding new risk classifications or rates to your quarterly reports. Your company's rates must be individually calculated by your account manager. � Thanks for helping us make your paperwork go smoothly. The number to call is: 360-902-4817 Answers the question: Does this apply to me? TONE: You haven�t done anything wrong. We want to help you prevent screwups Broken up into meaningul chunks of information. What�s the tone? How does it compare to the first? In the rewrite, the tone of the letter is �we�re here to help you.� The original letter�s tone was �You screwed up. You are in trouble with me.Answers the question: Does this apply to me? TONE: You haven�t done anything wrong. We want to help you prevent screwups Broken up into meaningul chunks of information. What�s the tone? How does it compare to the first? In the rewrite, the tone of the letter is �we�re here to help you.� The original letter�s tone was �You screwed up. You are in trouble with me.

12. 12 Handout #4 Explain situation. �this letter is sent to workers who mistakenly sent work=injurHandout #4 Explain situation. �this letter is sent to workers who mistakenly sent work=injur

13. 13 �This letter was pretty much useless. It did nothing but generate calls. Customers had absolutely no idea what we were talking about.� - Donna May, L&I Medical Information and Billing program

14. 14 Handout number 5Handout number 5

15. 15 Words from L&I�s hotline manager� � We used to get lots of questions about procedures. And questions about terms, like objective findings and abeyance. Now that has stopped. Any time there has been some kind of plain English program, there�s been a serious decline in questions. The reaction is not immediate, but it�s quick enough. We see it -- and it�s amazing.� - Bob Brown, Manager L&I Hotline staff 175,000 calls/year from injured workers and their employers Talk about listening in to Bob�s calls How Bob helped with our Claims site. Show them the site.Talk about listening in to Bob�s calls How Bob helped with our Claims site. Show them the site.

16. 16 When customers don�t understand documents � You may have to � Answer phone calls. Correct customer mistakes. Write letters to explain. Develop background materials. Litigate. When do I appeal? Do I have to appeal? Story of how this was the first page of our citation. We�re now interested in seeing if the appeal numbers have dropped.When do I appeal? Do I have to appeal? Story of how this was the first page of our citation. We�re now interested in seeing if the appeal numbers have dropped.

17. 17 Starting your Plain Talk document � How will you choose your documents? Who will be involved? What process will you use? How long will it take? YOU MUST PLAN BEFORE YOU WRITE ONE WORD! Here�s a logical process. It�s always tempting to dive in �I hate this letter!� A lot of us are writers.YOU MUST PLAN BEFORE YOU WRITE ONE WORD! Here�s a logical process. It�s always tempting to dive in �I hate this letter!� A lot of us are writers.

18. 18 #1 Choosing your documents Things to consider: Current agency business goals Documents known to create problems and complaints Frequency of use Importance of document to agency�s function Are there related documents you must do? History of the document: Who wrote it? Why? Ask management � For example. I�m doing a small business oriented project to match our goals. Ass front desk � hotline staffs � Essential/ Listening in on customers is a great exercise. Mention reports and policies. What do I think about those? Ask for a show of hands. Who�s going to be working on those? (Transportation guidelines are good.) Ask management � For example. I�m doing a small business oriented project to match our goals. Ass front desk � hotline staffs � Essential/ Listening in on customers is a great exercise. Mention reports and policies. What do I think about those? Ask for a show of hands. Who�s going to be working on those? (Transportation guidelines are good.)

19. 19 Choosing your documents� You inventory program documents. But who knows what actually needs changing? Interview program leaders. Meet with front counter & hotline staff. Conduct informal field study of customers using documents. Talk about how Renee Guillierie will be talking more about this tomorrow.Talk about how Renee Guillierie will be talking more about this tomorrow.

20. 20 Choosing your documents What approach will work for your agency? Rewrite many high-volume documents involving many people and programs? (L&I) Focus on one problem document at a time and measure carefully? (Revenue �Licensing) Create a team of trained in-house Plain Talk experts? (Ecology) Tell them that both the top techniques can work. At L&I we started with a large, ambitous project that involved many documents and people. That approach�s advantage was that it was very visible, many people were involved all at once and many people Go for quality.Tell them that both the top techniques can work. At L&I we started with a large, ambitous project that involved many documents and people. That approach�s advantage was that it was very visible, many people were involved all at once and many people Go for quality.

21. 21 #2 Who will be involved? Customer experts: Who knows the questions customers have after reading the letter? Writing experts: Who excels at clear writing? Policy experts: Who can check new letters for accuracy? Stakeholders: Who are your interested internal/external parties? Exercise: Work with a partner to figure out who your team could be. Put DSHS together, etc. Talk about how you have to know what document you�re revising before you can plan your team. Make this an exercise they do with a partner or group. They show their letter. Describe the problem. Then answer the following questions for the group. Stakeholders: Get them involved if there�s a touchy issue involved, such as the def. of an employee. Ask them to participate in usability. Send them drafts. It�s a great relationship builder. Heads of associations particularly good. Exercise: Work with a partner to figure out who your team could be. Put DSHS together, etc. Talk about how you have to know what document you�re revising before you can plan your team. Make this an exercise they do with a partner or group. They show their letter. Describe the problem. Then answer the following questions for the group. Stakeholders: Get them involved if there�s a touchy issue involved, such as the def. of an employee. Ask them to participate in usability. Send them drafts. It�s a great relationship builder. Heads of associations particularly good.

22. 22 Who will be involved? Legal counsel: Who can check new letters to ensure they meet legal requirements? Management: Who will sponsor the revision and make sure staff uses it? Programming/distribution: Who can review for any technical roadblocks? These guys are neceesarily around the table, but must be consulted. These guys are neceesarily around the table, but must be consulted.

23. 23 Consider �Group Write� Think about who needs to �be around the table� when you revise. Subject matter experts need to �see� what you�re suggesting, then talk among themselves. Making decisions together avoids time-consuming comment chains. Group Write gives the programs ownership � They�ve seen the challenges. We�ll be doing our own Group Write tomorrow.We�ll be doing our own Group Write tomorrow.

24. 24 Now that you have chosen your first document to revise � What is your goal? What is your most important message? Who is your customer? How is the document used?

25. 25 1. What is your goal? Examples : My goal is to: ��reduce the number of mistakes our customers make on our annual registration form.� �� decrease the number of delinquent accounts in my program.� �� increase the amount of revenue we bring in each year from voluntary tax payments.� This is an executive business decisino. Where do we want to focus our energy and talent? So it must be a practical, rather than primarily a philosophical decision. If you say, �I want to revise bad documents because I believe government should be �transparent� and open, and clear writing is good � that�s not nearly specific enough. Your goal is to reduce the number of farmers who screw up their paperwork. Reduce the number of phone calls to your hotline. All of these practical changes are felt by the public and they reflect a philosophical change. Small businesses Farmers? Pesticide users? Increaseing revenue? How do you want the customer to act? Are you asking them to do something? If so, then you need to make that really clear. Story about contractor registration. The point is that your goal is going to affect the way you structure your document. Keep it in front of you at all times so that the emphasized messages are directly tied to the goal.This is an executive business decisino. Where do we want to focus our energy and talent? So it must be a practical, rather than primarily a philosophical decision. If you say, �I want to revise bad documents because I believe government should be �transparent� and open, and clear writing is good � that�s not nearly specific enough. Your goal is to reduce the number of farmers who screw up their paperwork. Reduce the number of phone calls to your hotline. All of these practical changes are felt by the public and they reflect a philosophical change. Small businesses Farmers? Pesticide users? Increaseing revenue? How do you want the customer to act? Are you asking them to do something? If so, then you need to make that really clear. Story about contractor registration. The point is that your goal is going to affect the way you structure your document. Keep it in front of you at all times so that the emphasized messages are directly tied to the goal.

26. 26 2. What is your document�s most important message? This is what you�ve decided you need the customer to �get� more than anything else: �Renewing a registration only requires mailing a check with the form.� �They owe money � and when it�s due.� � The doctor must answer Question #12, or we cannot pay his bill.� Story about contractor registration. Example of form vs. card. Reduced time at counter and in our shop. Less confusion over addresses.Story about contractor registration. Example of form vs. card. Reduced time at counter and in our shop. Less confusion over addresses.

27. 27 Example of messages on top �It�s time to renew your registration.� �We have accepted your injury claim.� �We are citing you for violating an environmental law.� Handout #6 - Old contractor registration formHandout #6 - Old contractor registration form

28. 28 Message on top example� Before: When a claim has been closed for over seven years (or ten years for eye injuries) only the director has the authority to grant time-loss benefits. The director may only grant these benefits in exceptional circumstances. I�m pleased to inform you that you are eligible for time-loss benefits effective Oct. 1, 2003. After: Thank you for your letter requesting wage replacement benefits related to your earlier workplace injury or illness. After reviewing your claim, I have decided to grant you these benefits, effective Oct. 1, 2003.

29. 29 Message on the top example� Before: We have been notified that you did not receive the state of Washington warrant listed on the attached Affidavit of Lost or Destroyed Warrant Request for Replacement, form F242-026-000. The State Treasurer�s Office has informed us that the warrant is outstanding and has not been cashed as of today�s date. After: Have you cashed your L&I check yet? The State Treasurer�s Office has informed us that a check we sent you has not been cashed. Review the attached legal form. It will show the amount of the check, what it was for, and the date it was issued Exercise. What is the main message? Write it down and share with yoru group. Then groups share with the classExercise. What is the main message? Write it down and share with yoru group. Then groups share with the class

30. 30 3. Who is your customer? Get beyond in-house labels, such as: �Provider� �Employer� �Retiree� Find out who these customers really are. Who actually opens, reads and acts on the mail? What are they like? Where are they coming from? Get out the posters. Talk about advance buy-off for who you are focused on. Talk about the web project. Show them the posters. Jack, jackie and Tory. When we talk, for example about �medical provider� who are we talking about? When we visited medical offices (web did and I did for ML) we see that the person opening the letter is almost never the doctor. Have the class draw up a description of who the customer will be for this document. Maybe cre Get the posters out. Talk about how we decided as an agency what customers were important for us to target. How we thought about their characteristics and how we tested our web based on these decisions. Later on, when programs came back and said: I want this, I want that, we could say � No we made these decisions. We decided the people were like this.Get out the posters. Talk about advance buy-off for who you are focused on. Talk about the web project. Show them the posters. Jack, jackie and Tory. When we talk, for example about �medical provider� who are we talking about? When we visited medical offices (web did and I did for ML) we see that the person opening the letter is almost never the doctor. Have the class draw up a description of who the customer will be for this document. Maybe cre Get the posters out. Talk about how we decided as an agency what customers were important for us to target. How we thought about their characteristics and how we tested our web based on these decisions. Later on, when programs came back and said: I want this, I want that, we could say � No we made these decisions. We decided the people were like this.

31. 31 4. How is the document used? If it�s mailed, is it acted on by the person you�ve addressed it to? Is it used in a place where there is high staff-turnover? What other documents are also used ? Are the instructions in another document? Is it opened in a crowded or fast-paced environment? Have them write it down. Create a form. Example: Office staff in a hosptial. Letter is written to the doctor, but it is used by the staff. Tell them the story of my field trips to Auburn, Seattle, Group Health and Olympia Orthopedics. Have them write it down. Create a form. Example: Office staff in a hosptial. Letter is written to the doctor, but it is used by the staff. Tell them the story of my field trips to Auburn, Seattle, Group Health and Olympia Orthopedics.

32. 32 Handout #7 Group discussion of context? Discussion of how a business person would react to something olike this What� the context? A messy desk full of bills surrounded by activity? Yes. You see �Use tax obligations of business.� Is that adressed to you or seem like a bill? No. People threw it away.Handout #7 Group discussion of context? Discussion of how a business person would react to something olike this What� the context? A messy desk full of bills surrounded by activity? Yes. You see �Use tax obligations of business.� Is that adressed to you or seem like a bill? No. People threw it away.

33. 33 Handout #8 How is this different? It�s personal The request is specific: review you purchases for unpaid tax. The first letter merely said you have not recently paid use tax. It lists what to look for. It gives specific information about what to do to pay. Handout #8 How is this different? It�s personal The request is specific: review you purchases for unpaid tax. The first letter merely said you have not recently paid use tax. It lists what to look for. It gives specific information about what to do to pay.

34. 34 Handout #9 Context: Busy doctor�s officeHandout #9 Context: Busy doctor�s office

35. 35 Handout #10Handout #10

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37. 37 Class choice � Class exercise Start outlining document as a class. Find a way for them to have time for their own document. Start prepping them for legal issues to come up with Jim Johnson visit�Class exercise Start outlining document as a class. Find a way for them to have time for their own document. Start prepping them for legal issues to come up with Jim Johnson visit�

38. 38 But is it still legal? What�s the Attorney General�s advice? What problems do we watch for? What documents need an AG ok? How can we incorporate legal notice requirements into a �plain� document? Do this with Jim JohnsonDo this with Jim Johnson

39. 39 Our insurance definition of employee � RCW 51.08.180"Worker" -- Exceptions. (1) "Worker" means every person in this state who is engaged in the employment of an employer under this title, whether by way of manual labor or otherwise in the course of his or her employment; also every person in this state who is engaged in the employment of or who is working under an independent contract, the essence of which is his or her personal labor for an employer under this title, whether by way of manual labor or otherwise, in the course of his or her employment, or as a separate alternative, a person is not a worker if he or she meets the tests set forth in subsections (1) through (6) of RCW 51.08.195: PROVIDED, That a person is not a worker for the purpose of this title, with respect to his or her activities attendant to operating a truck which he or she owns, and which is leased to a common or contract carrier.

40. 40 Our safety definition of an employee � The term "employee" means an employee of an employer who is employed in the business of his employer whether by way of manual labor or otherwise and every person in this state who is engaged in the employment of or who is working under an independent contract the essence of which is his personal labor for an employer under this chapter whether by way of manual labor or otherwise

41. 41 Our �wage and hour� definition of an employee � 5) "Employee" includes any individual employed by an employer but shall not include:���� (a) Any individual (i) employed as a hand harvest laborer and paid on a piece rate basis in an operation which has been, and is generally and customarily recognized as having been, paid on a piece rate basis in the region of employment; (ii) who commutes daily from his or her permanent residence to the farm on which he or she is employed; and (iii) who has been employed in agriculture less than thirteen weeks during the preceding calendar year;���� (b) Any individual employed in casual labor in or about a private home, unless performed in the course of the employer's trade, business, or profession. Twelve additional exceptions continue below �

42. 42 Our new tool for explaining the �employee� law �

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45. 45 Time well spent It took a year. Collaboration between: Attorneys Staff Five program managers Stakeholders in building construction We crafted a consensus definition, but usability testing showed customers still found it too complex. Now a popular publication on its 3rd printing.

46. 46 Plain Talk Writing Guidelines Using Plain Talk principles, the announcements, publications and other documents agencies send to the public will contain clear and concise instructions and information. Documents written in Plain Talk will include: Clear language that is commonly used by the intended audience; Only the information needed by the recipient, presented in a logical sequence; Short sentences; Sentences, written in active voice, that make it clear who is responsible for what; and Layout and design that help the reader understand the meaning on the first try. This includes adequate white space, bulleted lists, helpful headings and other proven techniques. Executive Order 05-03, Plain Talk, March 24, 2005 How we came up with thisHow we came up with this

47. 47 In other words � Organize and break up the message Use common, everyday words Eliminate unnecessary words Use an active style Write to the reader Design to make it easy to read and act on.

48. 48 #1 Organize and break up the message Put the main message on the top Divide the rest into manageable blocks Organize them in a logical order Talk about how this is the most important instruction of all. Talk about scanning. Talk about what we�ve learned from the web about how people read for information. They scan and decide whether to actTalk about how this is the most important instruction of all. Talk about scanning. Talk about what we�ve learned from the web about how people read for information. They scan and decide whether to act

49. 49 Why break it up? People scan for information before deciding what to read � and act upon. Chunks of information that have headings show them: �Hey, this applies to me.� People don�t act on the document right away. Make it easy to go back to the section they need. Talk about the web research and Jakob Neilsen�s 80 percent test. Talk about how we all do paperwork tasks. Usually, we�re asked to do the task, or we learn about something we must do --- then we set it aside and come back to the task. How can we: 1.) Make it easy to figure out what it�s all about at the beginning. 2.) Make it easy to return to the task and get it done. A lot of it has to do with breaking the message up. If it�s information: Context. Information in logical sequence. Instructions: Tasks in order of when they must be done, beginning with consistent, active verbs at the beginning of each bulleted line. Talk about how I could have broken up and bulleted this powerpoint slide.Talk about the web research and Jakob Neilsen�s 80 percent test. Talk about how we all do paperwork tasks. Usually, we�re asked to do the task, or we learn about something we must do --- then we set it aside and come back to the task. How can we: 1.) Make it easy to figure out what it�s all about at the beginning. 2.) Make it easy to return to the task and get it done. A lot of it has to do with breaking the message up. If it�s information: Context. Information in logical sequence. Instructions: Tasks in order of when they must be done, beginning with consistent, active verbs at the beginning of each bulleted line. Talk about how I could have broken up and bulleted this powerpoint slide.

50. 50 Organize and break up the message (No dogs!) This is a message for all state employees who expect to be in town for the 4th of July weekend and would be interested in joining the Washington Hiker Club for a Saturday picnic and white water rafting experience on the Nisqually River, ending up at the Forest Beach camping area. The charge is a mere $10 for adults, though children will be charged half. (More information on this can be had by calling organizer Judy Brown at 943-0093.)Bring your wetsuit, water bottle and picnic lunch to the Crossroads parking lot at 9 a.m. That�s Sat., July 3. We�ll go until 6 p.m. Exercise for class. Group workExercise for class. Group work

51. 51 Organize and break up the message Class activity Many revenue officers made up their own letters. Now they can choose from a group of pre-written letters. What other problems with this letter. Talk about J. Stoeser Talk about Jim Stoeser Do this exercise. Show them the actual rewrite.Many revenue officers made up their own letters. Now they can choose from a group of pre-written letters. What other problems with this letter. Talk about J. Stoeser Talk about Jim Stoeser Do this exercise. Show them the actual rewrite.

52. 52 #2 Use common, everyday words Choose a simpler word: cease commence employ furnish inquire prior to procure request remit retain terminate transmit utilize - Thanks to Janice C. Redish, Redish & Associates Use words your readers knowUse words your readers know

53. 53 Use everyday words by avoiding �legalese� Don�t use Use Aforesaid the Hereby [nothing] Herein, Hereinafter [nothing] Provided if, but Pursuant to The law says � Said the Same appropriate pronoun To wit [nothing] - Thanks to Janice C. Redish, Redish & Associates Some legal writing can make citizens think they must hire a lawyer

54. 54 Use everyday words by avoiding �legalese� Before: By this notice, demand is hereby made for you to exercise your right of election pursuant to RCW 51.24.070. After: This is our formal demand for you to give us your decision Ask them what jargon they use that they often have to explain to customers. Ask 3rd party how the new language works. Ask them what jargon they use that they often have to explain to customers. Ask 3rd party how the new language works.

55. 55 Avoid legalese � Before: WAC 296-24-012, �Working day� means a calendar day, except Saturdays, Sundays, and legal holidays as set forth in RCW 1.16.050, as now or hereafter amended, and for the purposes of the computation of time within which an act is to be done under the provisions of this chapter, shall be computed by excluding the first working day and including the last working day. Note that this was a rule rewrite in our WISHA Core Safety rules, but the same changes could be made in a regular doc.Note that this was a rule rewrite in our WISHA Core Safety rules, but the same changes could be made in a regular doc.

56. 56 Avoid legalese � After: Working days Means a calendar day, except Saturdays, Sundays and legal holidays. Legal holidays include: New year�s Day �January 1 Martin Luther King Jr Day Presidents Day Memorial Day Independence Day � July 4 -WISHA Core Safety Rule Rewrite � L&I 2002

57. 57 Avoid legalese � Can you translate? This CITATION AND NOTICE OF ASSESSMENT shall be deemed to be a final order of the Department and not subject to review by any court or agency unless, within fifteen (15) working days from the receipt of this CITATION AND NOTICE OF ASSESSMENT, the employer submits a Notice of Appeal.� What about the lawyers? We rewrote our very, very legal document. The lawyer had one change: found a typo. An extra �S�What about the lawyers? We rewrote our very, very legal document. The lawyer had one change: found a typo. An extra �S�

58. 58 If you must use a specific term � define it The exam is called an Independent Medical Examination (IME). It will be conducted by a physician trained to treat your condition and will help us make decisions about your claim. Please fill out the enclosed form, called a �Notice of Environmental Hearing.� Your doctor (medical provider) must sign at the bottom.

59. 59

60. 60 Is it required? Make it clear Removing �shall� was one of the things they did with the South African Constitution rewrite. 1.) �Shall� disappeared. For example, �The president shall uphold� is now �The president must uphold, defend and respect the Constitution.. Also: �Every person shall have the right to life� changed to �Every person has the right to life.� 2.) Lists were created 3.) Latin and legalese were eliminated 4.) Gender-free language introduced, unless the drafters wanted to emphasize the him & her. Example: The consumer Removing �shall� was one of the things they did with the South African Constitution rewrite. 1.) �Shall� disappeared. For example, �The president shall uphold� is now �The president must uphold, defend and respect the Constitution.. Also: �Every person shall have the right to life� changed to �Every person has the right to life.� 2.) Lists were created 3.) Latin and legalese were eliminated 4.) Gender-free language introduced, unless the drafters wanted to emphasize the him & her. Example: The consumer

61. 61 #3 Eliminate unnecessary words Keep sentences short �If users have to read the sentence more than once to understand it, it is too long.�

62. 62 Eliminate unnecessary words Keep sentences short and try to keep them to one thought. 10-20 sentences are great, if possible. Try out very short sentences: Example from an L&I letter: Is this a bill? No. It is proof that you paid your overdue bill.

63. 63 Eliminate unnecessary words Can you translate? The department employees who have relevant issues to raise in our regular Wednesday meeting should verbally communicate their interest to us. Talk about how there are many issues in this rewrite. Iit changes the tone, though other things were changed as well. Does the new sound less professional?Talk about how there are many issues in this rewrite. Iit changes the tone, though other things were changed as well. Does the new sound less professional?

64. 64 Eliminate unnecessary words Can you translate? Due to the fact that the Department�s recommendations for improvements were few in number � Talk about how there are many issues in this rewrite. Iit changes the tone, though other things were changed as well. Does the new sound less professional?Talk about how there are many issues in this rewrite. Iit changes the tone, though other things were changed as well. Does the new sound less professional?

65. 65 Eliminate unnecessary words Can you translate? To facilitate the implementation of the new policy changes we reviewed, an informal meeting will be scheduled to discuss our options. Talk about how there are many issues in this rewrite. Iit changes the tone, though other things were changed as well. Does the new sound less professional?Talk about how there are many issues in this rewrite. Iit changes the tone, though other things were changed as well. Does the new sound less professional?

66. 66 #4 Use an active voice Active voice: In sentences written in the active voice, the subject performs the action expressed in the verb. In other words, the subject acts. Examples: The dog bit the boy Mary will present her research to the club. Scientists have conducted experiments on these chemicals. From Purdue University�s Online Writing Lab � www. _____

67. 67 Use an active voice Passive voice: In sentences written in the passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed in the verb. The subject is acted upon. Examples: The boy was bitten by the dog Research will be presented at the club. Experiments have been conducted on the chemicals. From Purdue University�s Online Writing Lab � www. _____

68. 68 Why an active voice? That�s how we really think and speak, so it�s easier to quickly understand. It makes it clear who is responsible for what. Passive writing can be used to distance the person making a decision from the person who is affected by it. Many government employees are more comfortable with this style.

69. 69 Use an active voice Allen-Bradley Company. Makers of computers. It surveyed the marketplace and found that documents that accompany the product were the second most important factor (after workmanship) in influencing customers to buy. It used writing consultants to simplify the language. Tested them with customers, refined. Calls to the company�s phone center fell from more than 50/day to only 2 per month.Allen-Bradley Company. Makers of computers. It surveyed the marketplace and found that documents that accompany the product were the second most important factor (after workmanship) in influencing customers to buy. It used writing consultants to simplify the language. Tested them with customers, refined. Calls to the company�s phone center fell from more than 50/day to only 2 per month.

70. 70 Use an active voice Can you translate? The submitted variance application has been accepted. A decision has been made to reject your application. The funds were stolen from the safe. Failure to pay will result in decertification.

71. 71 #5 Write to the reader � Help readers see themselves in the document. �I, me, we, our, ours, you, yours� draw the reader in. Can you translate? The department sends all overdue accounts to collection at the end of the month unless payment is made.

72. 72 Write to the reader� Can you translate? The Department requires all licensed foster parents to report their expenses annually. All students registered for the Advanced Teacher Education course are to report to the Registrar by Sept. 1. The reader doesn�t have to think � OK. Which department? Licensed foster parent � OK, I�m licensed already, aren�t I. By using you and we, you�ve simplified things. If they need a reminder of who �we� is, they may look at the letterhead. The reader doesn�t have to think � OK. Which department? Licensed foster parent � OK, I�m licensed already, aren�t I. By using you and we, you�ve simplified things. If they need a reminder of who �we� is, they may look at the letterhead.

73. 73 Write to the reader Can you translate? The person to whom this decision is issued, if he or she wishes to file an appeal, must file the appeal with the Pollution Control Hearings Board.

74. 74 #6 Design to make it easy to read and act upon Lists work well for instructions Lists make it easy to read and review Design can encourage action Bullets help scanning and returning to the task Strong headings draw the reader into the information or task Research on white space. Check programming parameters: First find out what�s possible. Gi Ginny�s bill you can actually act on right then. Give them an exercise that shows how to display information in a recognizable format. Addresses. Opening times. Some government forms are so jammed with �add-ons� from years of use, they are crammed and difficult to read. Some programmed form letters use hard-to-read formats with narrow margins and ALL CAPS. Many instructions are buried within explanations of why they are required to follow them. Much information isn�t displayed in traditional formats, making it hard for the reader (user) to return to it when they need it. Research on white space. Check programming parameters: First find out what�s possible. Gi Ginny�s bill you can actually act on right then. Give them an exercise that shows how to display information in a recognizable format. Addresses. Opening times. Some government forms are so jammed with �add-ons� from years of use, they are crammed and difficult to read. Some programmed form letters use hard-to-read formats with narrow margins and ALL CAPS. Many instructions are buried within explanations of why they are required to follow them. Much information isn�t displayed in traditional formats, making it hard for the reader (user) to return to it when they need it.

75. 75 Lists work well for instructionsLists work well for instructions

76. 76 Design: Lists make it easy to read and review Before: South Africa�s 1993 interim Constitution: �Every person shall have the right to his or her personal privacy, which shall include the right not to be subject to searches of his or her person, home or property, the seizure of private possessions or the violation of private communications.� Huge chunks of information often appear in legislative writing. Here�s an example of �congested� information.Huge chunks of information often appear in legislative writing. Here�s an example of �congested� information.

77. 77 Design: Lists make it easy to read and review After: Plain language rewrite of South Africa�s Constitution: Everyone has the right to privacy, which includes the right not to have: a.) their person or home searched b.) their property searched c.) their possessions seized d.) the privacy of their communications infringed

78. 78 Design can encourage action THANK YOU FOR YOUR PAYMENT. HOWEVER, YOU DID NOT GIVE US A DEFINITE DATE FOR SETTLEMENT OF THE FULL AMOUNT PAST DUE AS SHOWN ABOVE. AS A REMINDER, YOUR CHARGE AGREEMENT CALL FOR PAYMENT OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT DUE BY YOUR PAYMENT DUE DATE. PLEASE CALL THE NUMBER BELOW TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MATTER. SINCERELY, YOU MAY CONTACT US AT:

79. 79 Design can encourage action Dear Mr. Smith, Thank you for your recent payment. But remember, this is only part of the money you owe. When will you pay the rest of what you owe? Please call us today at the toll-free number 1-800-000-000 to arrange the next payment. If you can�t call, complete the message at the bottom of this page. Mail the message today to: Anthony�s Box B2 ______, New York We know that you want to take care of this matter of much as we do. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Today�s date is: _________________________________- I will mail my next payment: _____ today _____ five days from today I will send Anthony�s this amount: $ ____________ My name is: ______________________________ My address is: ____________________________ Revised letter; Document Design Center, American Institutes for Research

80. 80 Design: Bullets help scanning and returning to task Easy to scan for content: �Does this apply to me?� Easy to return to information later Easy to give reader an idea of what it�s all about. Take plenty of time to create the right headings� Handout. Group exercise.Handout. Group exercise.

81. 81 Handout #3 Then give VA numbers When people read clear information, they believe they�re getting more information, even if it�s a shorter document or web page. 750 letters in a month: 1128 calls 710 calls - 192 What�s the Difference? Old VA Letter Long paragraphs and sentences ALL CAPS in a few places Confusing/hard to understand Directions were for the wrong person It�s actually for the doctor. Privacy rights: they put them in an enclosed brochure. What about the sentence and paragraph length? Count words. No sentence longer than 19 words. Rest are much shorter. How does this help? It makes it easier to read at a glance. How else could you have approached the doc? Talk about �What we need� When we need it.� could be changed to a mjore informative heading if you wanted. New VA Letter Bold headings � san serif font (such as Arial) Chunking White space Took out legal/government jargon Short sentences 1-3 sentences per paragraph Friendlier tone, not as demanding Started out with the �what� and �why� Gives means of contacting for more information Took out privacy act information and referenced the enclosed brochure Handout #3 Then give VA numbers When people read clear information, they believe they�re getting more information, even if it�s a shorter document or web page. 750 letters in a month: 1128 calls 710 calls - 192 What�s the Difference? Old VA Letter Long paragraphs and sentences ALL CAPS in a few places Confusing/hard to understand Directions were for the wrong person It�s actually for the doctor. Privacy rights: they put them in an enclosed brochure. What about the sentence and paragraph length? Count words. No sentence longer than 19 words. Rest are much shorter. How does this help? It makes it easier to read at a glance. How else could you have approached the doc? Talk about �What we need� When we need it.� could be changed to a mjore informative heading if you wanted. New VA Letter Bold headings � san serif font (such as Arial) Chunking White space Took out legal/government jargon Short sentences 1-3 sentences per paragraph Friendlier tone, not as demanding Started out with the �what� and �why� Gives means of contacting for more information Took out privacy act information and referenced the enclosed brochure

82. 82 Design: Bullets help scanning and returning to task Please provide proof of age Dear: We received your claim form. This account was originally set up with a child as the account owner. We need to know the current age of this individual. If the individual is under the age of 18, we need proof of age. If the individual is over the age of 18, they must file their own claim form. 18 years of age and under Please send a copy of one of the following in the enclosed envelope: drivers license birth certificate current student identification card Over 18 years of age The account owner must: make changes to the form enclosed and resubmit it. or call our office at 1-800-435-2429 for a new claim form. If you have questions Call me at (360) _________. Sincerely, - Thanks to WA State Dept. of Revenue Next: See Handout # ____ (We have not received your May Tax Return)Next: See Handout # ____ (We have not received your May Tax Return)

83. 83 Design: Strong headings matter! Before: Roadmap for Performance-Based Navigation �Is this where I get maps?� After: Creating a web site based on the needs of our customers: Our plan - Thanks to Suzanne Boyd, Anthro-Tech Consultants

84. 84 Design: Strong headings matter! Before: Finding After: Finding: Customers tend to ignore text above salutation

85. 85 Design: Strong headings matter! Before: Introduction After: Introduction: Why tax revenues are rising

86. 86 Design: Strong headings matter! Before: Conclusion After: Conclusion: Citizen support is strong

87. 87 Design: Class exercise Translate and design: WARNING: Completion required. The department, before releasing warrant for services rendered, requires completion of Form 1038d regarding submission of correct Soc. Sec. # and place of residence. Mail by 12-30-2003 to Government Department, PO Box 100, Seattle, WA 98000 in order to receive within 30 days. Class activity: Have everyone write out the instructions they think are buried in this text. Then people take turns writing them on the easels. Are these instructions? Have them tell you what the writer is instructing the reader to do.Class activity: Have everyone write out the instructions they think are buried in this text. Then people take turns writing them on the easels. Are these instructions? Have them tell you what the writer is instructing the reader to do.

88. 88 Navigating your agency: Dealing with resistance �We don�t have time.� �We already rewrote that.� �I wrote that.� �Our customers know what we mean.� �No one has complained.� �We have too much real work.� � We don�t have a programming budget to code the new letters.� �It�s not legally sound.� �I�m the expert, not you.� Carl Ham: �It flies in the face of the RCW� and ends the subject/conversation.Carl Ham: �It flies in the face of the RCW� and ends the subject/conversation.

89. 89 Staff and management may� Feel they own the document Fear legal liability Resist learning different routines Worry about making errors in rewrites In enforcement programs, think confusing documents are �tougher� Resist programming costs Disagree on actual policy or law

90. 90 Dealing with resistance� Give them ownership from the beginning Include a respected inside �persuader� on the team Clear message from the top Return with alternative language Focus on the solution to their own problems. Present yourself as a resource. Market their success to their peers. Talk about L&I�s awards, letters from director. Ecology�s contests and prizes. Stamps of approval. Plain Talk writers of the month. Talk about L&I�s awards, letters from director. Ecology�s contests and prizes. Stamps of approval. Plain Talk writers of the month.

91. 91 Dealing with resistance Most important: Make sure you have a clear mandate and an executive sponsor.

92. 92 Usability testing: The ultimate reality check You think your document is clear. But you: Know the material Work at the agency Know the language Is the representative customer like you?

93. 93 What is usability testing? Review: Is it correct? Focus group: What do you think/feel? Presentation: Satisfied? Like it? Usability test: Can they use it? Usability testing observes a typical customers behavior: Can they find what they need and understand what they find? - Thanks to Dr. Janice Redish, Redish & Associates

94. 94 What is usability testing ? 4-6 representative customers, called �participants� or �users.� One at a time. About one hour each. Participant reads a scenario (written by you) that would prompt the letter you are testing. Reads section aloud Paraphrases section in own words Answers factual questions about the document.

95. 95 Usability testing� Who should you test? You must select people who represent the typical customer who will read the document. A range of ages, familiarity with program, education, responsibility. 4-10 people. It�s not science. It�s pinpointing basic problems. Handout of questionnaire, maybe one that�s filled out. Tell them it takes time to recruit people. Handout of questionnaire, maybe one that�s filled out. Tell them it takes time to recruit people.

96. 96 Put your usability participant in the situation � Create a scenario that would have typically prompted the letter. Write it simply. They will be reading it aloud. Develop questions for the participant: Test for readability of the most important information. Test what you�re unsure customers will grasp.

97. 97 Scenario and questions � Example scenario : You are employed as a laundry worker at a large nursing home. A week ago, you slipped and fell on the laundry room floor, breaking your elbow. Your boss drove you to the emergency room, where a doctor examined you and referred you to a orthopedic surgeon, who operated on you that night. After you are released the following day, your arm is in a cast and you cannot return to work for at least six weeks. Example questions: What medical costs will L&I cover? What costs are covered by the check you are expecting in the mail? What should you do if you believe L&I made a wrong decision?

98. 98 What can you learn from usability testing? Words people don�t understand Words that have different meanings that you expected Sentences that are too long or tangled Information users need that you haven�t given given them. Information you gave that users don�t think is important. Information that is not in the order or format they expected. Thanks to Dr. Janice Redish, Redish and Associates

99. 99 Using test data� Extract what you learned. Prepare a short, bulleted report. Example: �Five of our six participants did not understand they were required to complete and return the XYZ Statement to us.� �All five participants were unable to correctly calculate their tax owed after using our table.�

100. 100 Get your revised document reviewed Don�t automatically accept. You are the customer�s advocate! Negotiate. Use track changes to show them what you�ve changed through each version. Don�t get emotionally attached to your document. Remind management that changes were recommended by customers, not you.

101. 101 Document your work Style guides Best practices reports Case studies/professional papers Reports Reports to Plain Talk site Publicize Governor�s Plain Talk website www.governor.wa.gov/priorities/plaintalk/default.htm

102. 102 Track, reward and publicize your achievements Find ways to measure your results. Publicly recognize all those who made a contribution. Announce progress and results in e-mails, newsletters and agency bulletin boards. Consider an award program or �stamp of approval� system.

103. 103 �Where words are scarce, they�re seldom spent in vain.� - William Shakespeare