Inviting Family Partnerships

1. Inviting Family Partnerships Working together to support children’s development

2. Family Partnerships? • Working with parents for the good of children • Developing the value of the center as a resource for families • Fulfilling your mission of making a lasting difference in the community

3. Why? • The center can’t do it alone: parents are key • Children whose parents are engaged in their development develop better • Parents don’t become engaged automatically – building partnership is up to YOU

4. Who Is This “You”? • Everyone at the center is included • Everyone at the center is responsible • Everyone at the center sends a message… …the essential thing is what that message is!

5. What you do andhow you do itmake all the difference for parents and families

6. This Is What We’re About • What it takes to get parents engaged • Why inviting parents is part of what you do • Tips for inviting parents • Creating your own invitational action plan

7. How Do ParentsView Your Center Now? • Do they see your center only as a convenience? • Do they see themselves only as consumers? • Do they see you as just an employee? • Do they see you as a critic?

8. How Do YOUView Your Center Now? • Do you see your center as just day care? • Do you believe you work only with children? • Do you see parents only as moms and dads? • Do you see yourself as the one who knows best?

9. To engage parents as partners in children’s development, we must change their ideas… and maybe change our own

10. What Are You Thinking?

11. Making Engagement Possible • Families come to us with some beliefs about themselves, their children… and about us • Understanding these beliefs helps us help families • Understanding these beliefs help us understand ourselves too

12. Role-Based Ideas That Affect Engagement • No childcare should be “just day care” • Parent and staff roles overlap • Partnership requires valuing and respect • Success of a whole family  success of a child

13. But… there are also personal ideas that get in the way…

14. Personal Ideas That Affect Engagement • Trait or Mastery orientation • Fear or Hope motivation • Good and bad Possible Selves

15. Trait or Mastery Orientation? • Trait orientation: • “I’ve always been this way” • “This is how I am” • Mastery orientation: • “This has been my experience” • “I suppose I could change”

16. For example… Trait Orientation I’m not good at that I can’t do that I don’t like doing that Mastery Orientation I ‘m not good at that yet I can’t do that yet I haven’t learned to like that yet

17. Stop And Think… Do you lean toward a Trait Orientation or a Mastery Orientation?

18. Fear or Hope Motivation? • Fear motivation: • “If I tried that, bad things could happen.” • “I want to do things the way I’ve always done” • Hope motivation: • “If I tried that, good things could happen” • “I want to do things that will make a difference”

19. For example… Fear Motivation I might do it wrong I might mess things up I don’t want to stand out Hope Motivation I might be successful I might make a difference I want to take a chance

20. Stop And Think… Do you tend to be motivated by Fear or by Hope?

21. Also… we are guided by Possible Selves. We also think of our children’s Possible Selves.

22. Good and Not-so-goodPossible Selves • Good possibilities • My child could be a good student • I might become a change-maker in my community • Limiting possibilities • My child could struggle in school like I did • I might never be happy

23. Where Do We Get Our Possible Selves? • From our family history • From what’s happened to others we know • From what we’ve heard about on TV • From our own secret hopes and fears

24. Stop And Think… How do your own Possible Selves and ones you imagine for your children influence what you decide to do?

25. Parents come to uswith a lot of ideasthat might get in the way of being fully engaged intheir children’s development.

26. Parents’ Limiting Ideas • “My family is stuck with who we are” • “If we try to change bad things will happen” • “I don’t want you to know who I really am” • “Nothing at child care matters very much” • “People at the center don’t really care”

27. Our success in engaging parents in partnership depends on our ability to overcome limiting beliefs.

28. What Are You Thinking?

29. Our job is to invite parents to think differently.

30. I don’t mean “invite” like “invite to a party” I mean feeling welcomed. When did you feel truly welcomed?

31. Dis-Inviting Inviting

32. In what way is your center inviting to parents? How is it dis-inviting?

33. Sending Inviting Messages • Smiling • Listening • Including everybody • Respecting cultural and personal differences • Offering guidance and support (avoiding prescriptions and arguments) • Staying flexible

34. Inadvertent Dis-invitations • Schedules that exclude some families • Signs and messages that are discourteous • Activities ignore cultural/personal differences • Worn or outdated or dirty surroundings • Rules administered punitively

35. Think of your own center…

36. Intentionally Invitational Some of us are intentionallydis-inviting Some of us are unintentionally dis-inviting Some of us are unintentionally inviting More of us could be more intentionally inviting

37. How Can We Send Invitations? What can happen tomorrow that would be viewed by parents and families as more invitational?

38. Five Ways Invitations Are Made* • People – what people do and say • Places – how places look, smell, sound, feel • Processes – how things are done • Policies – how what is done is worded • Programs – what we can do together *And dis-invitations too!

39. Put This Into A Star

40. What People Say And Do Courteous Inclusive Respectful Optimistic Accessible Cheerful Caring Fair

41. How Places Look… Clean Uncluttered No odor Safe Quiet Right-sized Easy to find Welcoming

42. How Things Happen Processes exist Fair Consistent Uncomplicated Local Flexible Human-centered

43. How Processes Are Shared Accessible to all Inclusive language Easy to read Easy to find Clear Flexible Human-centered

44. What We Do Together Obvious value Open to everyone Asset-focused Fun Match the mission

45. Everyone Can Be Invitational Five Ways • In what we do and say • In how we maintain our spaces • In how we make things happen • In how we communicate the rules • In what we decide to do with parents & kids

46. What Are You Thinking?

47. Where Were We…? • It’s important to get parents engaged in children’s learning… BUT • There may be role-based misconceptions • There may be negative personal beliefs • It’s everyone’s job to invite parents to think differently

48. What We Said About Invitations • What we say and do can be inviting or not • We can be invitational in five ways: • How we present ourselves • How things look and feel • How things are done • How the rules are communicated • What we do together with families

49. So… where are we going next? • We will talk about barriers to sending and accepting invitations: parents’ barriers and YOUR barriers • We will talk about taking action • We will make a written plan…

50. Barriers to Sending Invitations • There’s not enough time • I’m not that nice • I’m not confident enough • Parents need direction (I need more control) • It’s not my job • Parents won’t accept my invitations anyway