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Dive deep into the concept of submission in marriage, separating myths from truths and providing practical guidelines for a harmonious relationship based on Ephesians 5:22-24. Discover the importance of mutual respect, love, and understanding in a successful union.
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The Gift of Submission What it is and is Not
Introduction • Subjection is not substantively different in marriage than in other areas. • Why do we have so much trouble grasping what it means?
Introduction • Our feminist politically correct culture has thrown out the Biblical pattern. • Thesis: • What Submission is • What it is not • Practical Guidelines
What Submission is: • Ed Wheat - The key to a successful marriage is: “As the husband loves his wife, she is going to be more submissive to him. As the wife submits to her husband, his love for her will surely grow.”
What Does it Mean? • Military term which actually means to do an assigned job in an assigned way. • It is an attitude of willing adaptation to that which God is leading her husband to do. • Submissiveness is the most important gift a wife can give to her husband.
Marriage Problems Boil Down to Spiritual Problems • The man is not properly loving his wife. • The wife is not being submissive to her husband. • Key! Both need to concentrate on doing their job well.
Understanding the Dynamics of a Marriage • When God tells one party to do something, it is because it fulfills some need in the other person. • Ephesians 5:22-24 - Wives, be in subjection unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.
A Man’s Deepest Need as a Man is to be Respected • That is why the command of Ephesians 5:33 - “And the wife see that she reverence her husband.” • Definition of Greek: “The wife is to respect, admire, enjoy, fear or be in awe of, defer to, revere, adore, be devoted to, esteem, praise, and deeply love her husband.” • “If she is able to look at her husband with eyes of reverence, he becomes a king among men!”
A Woman’s Deepest Need is to Feel Loved and Cherished. (Eph 5, 1 Pet. 3:7) • The reason why God commands these things is because He knows each needs what the other can give! • Genesis 2 - Tells the man he is to “Depart from his father and mother and cleave to his wife. . .”
What is Submission?Go back to Eden. • Eve’s first sin was thinking she had a better idea than God. • In marital conflict, the wife thinks she knows better than her husband. • 1 Timothy 2:11-14 tells us that Adam sinned knowingly, willingly. Eve was deceived. Isn’t that worse? • Men, like Adam, still frequently struggle with shifting blame. • God is saying: The buck stops here, buddy.
Conclusion: • The essence of being a Christian • “Not my will, but thine be done.”
What Submission is Not • It is not being a door mat or mindless servant. • A woman has the right of appeal. • You must speak the truth and point out sin (Ephesians 4:15).
Steps to Follow • Clearly express why you think he sinned. Pray that God will touch his heart. • Don’t become like a dripping faucet. • You can and should confront tyranny. • The Pattern of Matthew 18:15 applies. • If there is physical abuse or one is fearful for her safety - RUN! (1 Corinthians 7:15)
Give Your Husband Your Best Thinking • Do not give him “a piece of your mind.” He needs your insight! • If after you have: • Pointed out and dealt with any sin. . . • Given him your best thinking. . . • Exercised the right of appeal. . . • If the answer is still not what you prefer. . . submit. • Because God in Ephesians 5:22-24 and Romans 13:1-5 says so.
Submission • It is not teaching a woman to trust in her husband, but to trust in God. • Even Jesus submitted to lines of authority. He said again, “Not my will but thine be done.” • Pilate - John 19:11 • God is boss.
Steps to Follow • When a decision is in the making, go off and pray and plead your case to God. • Go to your husband and tell him you are praying for God to give him wisdom. • Tell him that you will submit.
Not void if husband is not a Christian • Consider John 11:49-52. The high priest was used by God to carry out His will. • Consider Jesus and the Pharisees. [Matthew 23:2) • Moses went to Pharaoh and asked permission. Why? (Exodus 7:4-5)
It Cannot be forced • Stephen Covey says, “You can hire a man’s back and his hands, but he has to volunteer his head and heart, which is the source of the enthusiasm and creativity you need for a truly productive employee.” Love and submission is a gift. • No one can make you be submissive because it comes from the heart.
Conclusion • We have looked at what submission is, what it is not, and given some practical guidelines. • May we have the faith and courage to follow God’s pattern and get where we want to go.