How did I get here?

1. How did I get here? Amanda Barnett FHS1500 Individual Project

2. From the Beginning… I was born in Washington State in 1971 to a very happy and loving family. We spent a lot of time laughing, traveling and being together. Those were wonderful times growing up. In the city where we lived, there were a lot of single parent families. I always prided myself on having two happy and involved parents. My friends respected my mother and father immensely.

3. Everything Changes… • Sometimes men and women go through a dramatic change when they are in their forties. It is sometimes called a “mid life crisis”. They take a look back at their life with fear and anguish, instead of rejoice and grace. • All of a sudden they are not happy with the lives that they have chosen and decide to leave it for another path with the hopes of finding happiness once again. • This can be a devastating turn in the lives of all affected by this change; including children, spouses, friends.

4. A little haywire… When I was 14, my father decided that he was in love with someone much younger, that lived across the United States. My parents fought and my mother cried a lot. It was a chaotic time, as my sister chose to turn to her friends and get into a lot of trouble, my mother was opening her own business amidst the turmoil, my father was in a lost world unto his own, and I- well, I just was. It was a confusing time, a time of taking care of everyone-except myself. A time of fear, anger, resentment, denial and most of all, loneliness. My world was upside down.

5. A lot like Death… Five Stages of Grief Kubler-Ross model from “On Death and Dying My Personal Grief Stages: “This couldn’t happen to my ideal family!” “Why me? How could my father and mother do this to me?” “I will be the best student, the best little girl in the world if my dad would only stay and work it out.” “What is the point in studying or trying to be good at anything, when it feels like my world is crumbling apart ?” “I could stay in bed all day and no one really cares.” “It’s going to be okay. I need to focus on my future now and not worry so much about everyone else's. It is their choice, not mine.” • Denial • Anger • Bargaining • Depression • Acceptance

6. Moving On…or at least trying to Somehow I pulled it together. We did not have faith, or even a tight community of support around us really. I went through a lot of experiences in high school that opened my eyes to how I did not want to choose to live the rest of my life and realized that I needed to move on and go to college. Perhaps in a lot of ways, I was again trying to make everyone proud of me and everyone else happy. I went on to my father’s alma mater and after two years had to drop out. It was too much to be away from my family, my grades and health suffered immensely. I was again, lost.

7. To the Mountains…and beyond In 1995, after a couple year stint of restaurant jobs in Seattle, I packed up everything I owned and drove off to the mountains of Colorado to visit an old college flame. I needed something new, something different . Chad Barnett was there, with an unconditional love, support and honesty that I very much needed and could respect. We grew together, in all ways. We bonded with an admiration, trust and appreciation for each other that I had not known was possible. Moving to Park City UT in 1998, we chose to become engaged and begin our lives together.

8. Baby, Baby, Oh Baby!

9. Turn, Turn, Turn… • September 2001 Chad started his own business • September 12, 2001 (yes, one day after 9-11), Chad Joseph Barnett and Amanda Louise Rung, were joined as Mr. and Mrs. Barnett • February 13, 2004 we welcomed a gorgeous baby boy named Cooper James Barnett to this world • August 2005 I opened my own retail clothing store • August 11, 2006 the beautiful Miss June Elizabeth Barnett was born

10. There is a season… August 13, 2010 I am diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer. And here I am. Staring at this computer trying to relay across a keyboard how that was a “pivotal” event in my life. I began a fight. A fight for my life, a fight for the life that gave me my children and my husband’s love. A fight to prove that I have a life worth living and I was going to win that fight. One year. I gave one year of my life to this fight and I won. I am here. I am writing this paper. I am winning everyday in a wonderful life that I chose on my own accord and that I so graciously live, everyday, to the fullest.

11. And this too, shall pass… I am in my forty first year of life now and I am making changes that society would most likely advise people do in their twenties. When I was as small as I can remember, I used to play school with my dolls. Alone in my room, I can remember using my chalkboard, paper, pencils and portraying the role of my very favorite teacher. I have returned to school so that I can pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a teacher. I spend as much time as possible now in my daughter’s kindergarten class, where I have become the loving “Ms. Barnett” and am changing lives everyday. My favorite quote still remains the same: “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”. Don’t let those plans distract you from your life.