The ABCs of Relationship Abuse and Family Violence

1. The ABCs of Relationship Abuseand Family Violence Presenter: Brenda Rosenthal, Prevention of Relationship Abuse Program Coordinator Athabasca

2. Prevention of Relationship Abuse Program • Support and education for those affected by relationship abuse • Action plans • Safety Plans • Supported access to community resources

3. Community Action for Healthy Relationships -CAHR • Kelly Lynn Spafford – local CAHR Program Coordinator • Community agencies in Athabasca, Barrhead and Westlock are working together to address family violence • Funding of 1.1 Million received from Alberta Justice –Safe Communities Innovation Fund for the 3 communities until 2014

4. Community Action for Healthy Relationships -CAHR 3 key components: • Enhanced Outreach Services to full time – PRAP Coordinator • Coordinated Community Response e.g. Workplace & Community Protocols; referral protocols to increase awareness & to ensure timely access to services • Men’s and Women’s Treatment Program based on the Duluth Model and Alberta Health Services Provincial Family Violence Treatment Program Standards (draft May 2012)

5. Creating Change for Healthy Relationships Treatment Program: • New program for Athabasca for people struggling with the issue of relationship abuse • Separate Women’s and Men’s program; NOT couples counselling • Referral from agencies, community organizations and self referrals • No charge to attend • Led by a qualified Therapist and trained Co-Facilitators • 30 hours in length in either weekly sessions or Weekends format • Call (780) 689-8136 to refer

6. Family Violence Alberta Government’s definition of Family Violence is Family Violence: any use of physical or sexual force, actual or threatened, in an intimate relationship. It may include a single act of violence, or a number of acts forming a pattern of abuse through the use of assaultive and controlling behavior. (AB. 2011)

7. Its about Power and Control • The abuse or violence is used to intimidate, humiliate or frighten a partner of an intimate relationship, or to make them powerless.

8. Abuser’s Beliefs • Abusers feel entitled and justify their behavior • Abusers disrespect their partners and feel superior • Abusers confuse love and abuse • Abusers are manipulative

9. Abuser’s Beliefs • Abusers try to present a good public image • Abusers deny and minimize their abuse • Abusers are possessive • Abusive behavior is a chosen behavior.

10. Types of Abuse

11. Physical Abuse Behaviors that cause pain or physical injury or the threat of, to the another person’s body.

12. Psychological/ Emotional Abuse Behaviors that undermine their partner’s sense of well-being or that causes the individual to perceive himself or herself as inept, not cared for, and worthless

13. Verbal AbuseThe use of negative comments that are unwelcome, embarrassing, offensive, or threatening to another person

14. Sexual AbuseAny unwelcome or forced sexual activities

15. Social AbuseAny behaviour resulting in the isolation and alienation of a person from friends or family

16. Intellectual AbuseDisrespecting, or devaluing another’s opinions, ideas or learning styles.

17. Financial AbuseUsing money to gain control or have power over another person

18. Spiritual AbuseAny tactics that exert power and control over a woman's spirituality or uses religious teachings to justify abusive behaviors.

19. Cultural AbuseThe use of culture to justify abusive behaviors or the use of power to devalue another’s culture.

20. Abuse of Property or PetsDamaging or threatening to damage another’s personal property to intimidateor control.

21. Using ChildrenGaining power over another person by threatening the child or access to the child.

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24. Children Exposed to Family Violence Alberta Government definition: Seeing, hearing, being told about, or seeing the aftermath of abuse and coercive control used against a parent. (2011)

25. “Children are not ‘witnesses’ to events in their home.” (2004)

26. Children “Exposed” to Family Violence have an increased risk of:

27. How can I help? One caring person in a child’s life can make a difference. • Listen to what the child has to say without interrupting or judging. • Believe the child (but do not over-react). • Assure the child that abuse is not their fault – no one deserves to be hurt or abused. Report immediately to authorities.

28. Hands are Not For Hitting/Words are Not For HurtingPrograms

29. Dating Violence Awareness Program • New this fall • Vecova’s Research Services, with funding from the Canadian Women's Foundation and TELUS, developed a Dating Violence Awareness Program. Completed this spring the Plain Language program includes a Facilitator’s Guide, a Workbook, six PowerPoint Presentations, and two videos. The program is divided into six modules: • What is a Relationship? • Gender and Media Stereotypes • What is Dating Violence? • Abuse, Power and Control • Sexual Relationships • Help! I’m in an Abusive Relationship

30. Our Hope for the future • Children will understand that “Abuse is not normal” • A healthy role model takes an interest in them. • Children have reasons to believe in themselves.