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Essays for Tom. Part One: Opening and Closing. /10 Framing: (Does the author state a clear thesis early in the paper? Do the introduction and conclusion bookend the argument effectively?). Sample first para.
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Part One: Opening and Closing • /10 Framing: (Does the author state a clear thesis early in the paper? Do the introduction and conclusion bookend the argument effectively?)
Sample first para. Margaret Laurence’s short story “The Loons” illustrates the racism found in small town Manitoba in the 1930s. The settings used by the author emphasise the different social classes and lifestyles of the characters who populate the fictional town of Manawaka. The story, as seen through the eyes of the young Vanessa, highlights the animosity between the white townspeople and a Metis family, the Tonerres by placing them in settings that reflect their social standing.
Argumentation • /20 Development of Argument (Does the argument make a logical progression, connecting the dots between introduction and conclusion? Are the logical links clearly made using transitions from one point to another? )
Textual Evidence • /20 Evidence/Sources (Has the author used sufficient–and relevant–textual evidence to back up the claims made in the paper?)
General Idea/Argument /10 Idea. Does the paper display clear evidence of thoughtful engagement with the topic and text(s) at hand? Does it enlarge its scope with engagement with the critical texts?
Paragraph Structure /15 Paragraph organization (paragraphs, transitions between paragraphs, paragraph structure etc.)
Syntax etc. /10 Sentences (structure, word choice, clarity etc.)
Mechanicals /10 Mechanicals (punctuation, spelling etc.)
MLA Formatting /5 Documentation in text (Are quotations properly formatted?)
Things to avoid . . . • Wordiness— • I think that Hazel’s character is a young girl, a fact which is revealed by her casual speech. • Hazel’s youth is revealed by her casual speech. • Speaking for/to the reader • You can tell many things about Hazel’s character based on her diction. • Hazel’s diction reveals her character. • And so the reader can see that Hazel is angry about her uncle’s ‘betrayal’” • Hazel is enraged by her uncle’s ‘betrayal’
Describing versus interpreting: • make sure that you are analysing. not describing/reiterating:Hazel believes in speaking her mind freely: “when you got somethin on your mind, speak up and let the chips fall where they may” (451). • Hazel believes that “when you got somethin on your mind, speak up and let the chips fall where they may” (451), a belief that gets her in trouble at school and at the movie theatre.
Cliches • George Orwell had good advice: "Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print." • If you're depending on a stock phrase, you're letting someone else do half your thinking for you.
For example . . . Good ideas need good clothes, something to make them sell like hotcakes. Although we should try to avoid clichés like the plague, sometimes we can't help using them. If that happens, don't worry, be happy -- we all make mistakes. That's water under the bridge, so just get on with it. But in general, let’s fight fire with fire and learn to avoid clichés by remembering these clichés.
What you must do: • As you reread your paper during revision, when you come to each quotation, ask yourself: "Do I interpret the language of my quotations in detailed and specific terms?" "Is it clear how my close readings support the topic sentence of the paragraph, and thus the thesis of the paper?"
Follow MLA Format • Quotes • Margins • Fonts • Citations • Introducing quotes • First page (no title pages, please) • But have a title
A Good Thesis is . . . (Jack Lynch) • Argumentative. It makes a case. That's the biggest difference between a thesis and a topic — a topic is something like "Slavery in Huck Finn." That's not a case, only a general area. A thesis, on the other hand, makes a specific case, it tries to prove something. One way to tell a thesis from a topic: if it doesn't have an active verb, it's almost certainly still a topic.
Controversial. That doesn't mean something like "Abortionists should be shot" or "George W. Bush's election was illegitimate" — it means that it has to be possible for an intelligent person to disagree with your thesis. If everyone agrees on first sight, your thesis is too obvious, and not worth writing about. It also has to be something you can reasonably argue about: it's not enough merely to give an unsupported opinion.
Analytical, not evaluative. A college English paper isn't the place to praise or blame works of literature: theses like "Paradise Lost is an enduring expression of the human spirit" or "The Sound and the Fury isn't successful in its choice of narrative techniques" aren't appropriate. That's the business of book reviewers. No need to give thumbs-up or thumbs-down; evaluate the work on its own terms.
About the readings, not the real world. Never forget that books are books and, if you're in an English class, you're being asked to talk about them. Many books are unreliable guides to the real world outside the texts, and it's dangerous to talk about, say, Renaissance attitudes toward race based only on your reading of Othello. Talk about Othello.
Specific. It's not enough to deal in vague generalities. Some students want to write their paper on man and God, or on the black experience in the twentieth century. Both are far too nebulous to produce a good paper. Get your hands dirty with the text.
Well supported. That's the key to the rest of the paper after those first few paragraphs. Use textual evidence to prove your claims, as in the following sample paragraph (there are more in your textbook)
Effectively constructing each transition often depends upon your ability to identify words or phrases that will indicate for the reader the kind of logical relationships you want to convey. The list below should make it easier for you to find these words or phrases.
Transitions between Paragraphs--If you have done a good job of arranging paragraphs so that the content of one leads logically to the next, the transition will highlight a relationship that already exists by summarizing the previous paragraph and suggesting something of the content of the paragraph that follows. A transition between paragraphs can be a word or two (however, for example, similarly), a phrase, or a sentence.
Transitions within Paragraphs--As with transitions between sections and paragraphs, transitions within paragraphs act as cues by helping readers to anticipate what is coming before they read it. Within paragraphs, transitions tend to be single words or short phrases.
Transitional Expressions • Similarity: also, in the same way, just as ... so too, likewise, similarly • Exception/Contrast: but, however, in spite of, on the one hand ... on the other hand, nevertheless, nonetheless, notwithstanding, in contrast, on the contrary, still, yet
More Transitional Expressions • Sequence/Order: first, second, third, ... next, then, finally • Time: after, afterward, at last, before, currently, during, earlier, immediately, later, meanwhile, now, recently, simultaneously, subsequently, then
Still more . . . • Example: for example, for instance, namely, specifically, to illustrate • Emphasis: even, indeed, in fact, of course, truly • Place/Position: above, adjacent, below, beyond, here, in front, in back, nearby, there
Cause and Effect: accordingly, consequently, hence, so, therefore, thus • Additional Support or Evidence: additionally, again, also, and, as well, besides, equally important, further, furthermore, in addition, moreover, then • Conclusion/Summary: finally, in a word, in brief, in conclusion, in the end, in the final analysis, on the whole, thus, to conclude, to summarize, in sum, in summary