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1. Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People Dorinda Harmon
College of Charleston
SACRAO 2011
2. Angering… Annoying… PIA…Disruptive…
Embarrassing …Trying…
Pushing Buttons …Miserable…Rude…Cruel… Hateful…Hostile…Mean… Unfair… Energy Zapper… Hurtful … Unbearable… Destructive …
3. Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway.
Eleanor Roosevelt
4. Who Are These People and Where Do They Come From? Why Are They So Angry ?
What Has Set Them Off ?
Why Are They Taking It Out On Me ?
How Can I Get Rid of Them ?
Is this a Pattern or a One Time Happening ?
5. Who Are They? Parents
Students
Community
6. Why Do They Act Like This? Personality Traits
Controllers
Negatives
Self Boosters
Glory Seekers
Revenge
Their difficult life/work conflicts or situation
7. What Brings These Behaviors On? Parents
Control, misplaced caring/fear
Student
Confusion, fear, pressure
Community
Misinformation, control, lack of resources for resolution of issues
8. Why Take It Out On Me? You are available
Seen as someone who should be able to resolve it
You get paid to resolve it
Need to vent / control / boost
Are you a victim, instigator ?
9. Calming an Angry Person Calm Down
That’s Not My Fault
You’re way out of line
It you just hold on, I’ll transfer you to…
yellow reference link # 1
10. Managing You Choose a Win-Win attitude
Give “customers” your undivided attention
Learn to handle criticism with class
yellow reference link # 1
11. Getting Promoted: Real Strategies for Advancing Your Career Harry Chambers Depersonalize the criticism
Assertively restate comments for clarification
Seek guidance
Process the input
Review progress-seek follow-up
12. What Can I Do? Parents Listen
Is there a reasonable issue ?
Look for calm resolution
Do not pass along without attempting to alleviate
Use knowledge to avoid / improve future
Call on the next level
13. What Can I Do? Students Listen
Provide options and information
Do not just hand off the problem
Try to resolve the issues
14. What Can I Do? Community Listen
Clarify the issue (s)
Consider options and resources
Put the issue, not yourself, as the focus
Call in reinforcements