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Motivating Yourself and Others with Paul Clayton. Motivation takes place with the perception of control. Motivation stops when we use. HAVE TO Gives the perception of non-control. Avoid the words HAVE TO and use. You have a choice. When speaking to others.
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Motivation stops when we use HAVE TO Gives the perception of non-control
Avoid the words HAVE TO and use. You have a choice. When speaking to others. It would be in my best interest. When dealing with yourself.
Do it Now • Thinking causes in activity. • What ever you focus on expands.
Daily To-Do List • Prioritize tasks on your daily list. ”1” = Top priority items “2” = Important things but don’t have to get done today. “3” = Nice if they got done but could be put off indefinitely • Number them in order of priority with #1 as most important. • Group Like Things together
High Negative Angry Fearful Anxious Defensive Resentful Low Negative Depressed Exhausted Burned Out Hopeless Defeated High Positive Invigorated Confident Challenged Joyful Connected Low Positive Relaxed Mellow Peaceful Tranquil Serene Connected Energy Chart
Emotions In order to perform at our best we must access pleasant and positive emotions: enjoyment, challenge, adventure and opportunity. Negative emotions drain you
A few thoughts about Emotions • Some emotions are caused by a chemical imbalance in the system. • Hormones • Drugs • Alcohol • Other issues e.g. lack of sleep, wrong foods
Where Do Emotions Come From? Who Controls Your Emotions?
Quick Review • Your Mind Is The Control Tower Of All You Do. • Every Word You Use Translates • Into an Action • A feeling or emotion • Or Both
What is Happiness? • Our happiness is the distance between our expectations of ourselves, others and reality.
Happiness Reality + Belief System (B.S.) = Happiness Level
Happiness Level Very Happy Happy Unhappy Your Happiness is based on your expectations
You have Several Choices Accept the Things you cannot change Happy Reality Change the things you can Upset Unhappy Angry Try and Change something you cannot change
Emotions Feelings Situation Belief System
Our Belief System • What we expect or think that we should or must have from reality and ourselves.
Avoids Words • SHOULD • MUST • HAVE TO • Replace them with Desirable
What are your expectations of? • Family • Client • Children • Work
Negative Emotions • THE SITUATION + • IRRATIONAL THOUGHT = • A NEGATIVE FEELING
General Irrational Thoughts • There must be justice all of the time. • Everyone must be nice to me. • Things must always go my way. • Everyone must understand me.
When You Are Upset. • Breathe Deeply • Write Down What Your expectations Were. • Ask Yourself Why People, Places and Things have to follow your expectations. • Accept • Renew • Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Stress • Stress Takes place in the mind of the beholder. • Stress does not come from what you are doing but rather you are saying you are doing.
Burnout • Lack of positive feed back. • Lack of trying new things. • Lack of a purpose greater then the job.