Helping People in Need

2. Helping People in Need • Listen to what people want to talk about. • What is bothering them? • What do they care about?

3. Counseling TIPS WHAT TO AVOID • Do not tell someone you “understand” • Do not tell someone to “calm down” if they are mad • Do not tell someone “it’s going to be ok” • Do not put words in people’s mouths—make assumptions

4. Counseling TIPS Check these at the Door Personal Biases Rash Judgments Stereotyping Lack of Emotional Control

5. Counseling TIPSWHAT TO DO Active listening Involves attentively listening to what the other person is saying verbally, emotionally and non-verbally

6. Counseling TIPSWHAT TO DO Active Observation Involves intensely observing nonverbal behaviors and mannerisms that typically provide insight into internalized thoughts and feelings. .

7. Counseling TIPS Responding(verbally and non-verbally) Verbal responses consist of summarizing, interpreting and clarifying communicated messages. Refrain from smothering the client by over-talking him/her and avoid constant interruptions. Non-verbal responses consist of: Eye contact (demonstrates interest), head nodding (demonstrates agreement and encourages communication), body posture (avoid slouching and exhibit an open posture that includes you leaning forward as it conveys sincerity), and facial expressions (should appear natural and relaxed ---no judgmental expressions – rolling eyes, angry look, etc.)

8. Counseling TIPS Questioning Should primarily be open-ended. Well-posed questions may help verify understanding, encourage further explanation or help move a client through the stages of the counseling session.

9. Counseling TIPS Establishing Trust and Rapport • Respect for person being counseled: Mutual respect improves the chances of changing (or maintaining) behavior and achieving outlined goals. • Self-awareness and cultural awareness: You must be fully aware of your values, needs and biases prior to counseling clients. Self-aware counselors are less likely to allow their biases to influence the counseling process. In addition, counselors need to be cognizant of the similarities and differences between individuals of different cultural backgrounds and how these factors may influence values, perspectives and actions. • Empathy: Empathy allows you to see the situation from the other person's view. It provides a grounding effect on the plan of action, ensuring that it is feasible and achievable from the perspectives of the counselor and client. • Credibility: Counselors achieve credibility by being honest and consistent in their statements and actions.

10. Common Psychotherapeutic Approaches Cognitive: the belief that our thoughts are directly connected to how we feel. Behavioral : primary learning comes from experience Psychoanalytic : involves analyzing the root causes of behavior and feelings by exploring the unconscious mind and the conscious mind's relation to it. Person Centered Therapy: non-directive technique that helps patients find their own solutions to their problems.

11. Three General Counseling Techniques Telling Coaching Selling

12. Telling Is a directive approach to counseling best suited for addressing simple problems or making on-the-spot corrections where time is limited and action must be prompt. Under this approach, the counselor does most of the talking during the counseling session and directs the client concisely on what to do and when to do it. The major disadvantage to using the “telling” approach is that it discourages clients from taking part in formulating a realistic plan conducive to creating the desired change in their behavior

13. Coaching Is a non-directive approach that is preferred for most counseling sessions. Counselors using this approach spend most of their time listening rather then talking. Clients are encouraged to develop action plans and counselors ensure that action plans support goals and objectives. This approach is time intensive and requires the greatest amount of counselor skill. Also, for this approach to be effective clients must openly communicate, maturely present goals and actively uncover alternatives. One of the positive attributes of employing this type of counseling is that it encourages personal responsibility.

14. Selling Is a combined approach that uses aspects of both coaching (non-directive) and telling (directive). Using this approach the counselor provides guidance, but avoids directing. Planning and decision-making are the responsibilities of the client, with the counselor assisting with the development and evaluation of alternatives.

16. What is Bullying "A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."

17. Definition on Bullying This definition includes three important components: • Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions. • Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time. • Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

18. TYPES OF BULLYING • Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names • Bullying through social exclusion or isolation • Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting • Bullying through lies and false rumors • Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully • Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully • Racial bullying • Sexual bullying • Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet)

19. REASONS WHY PEOPLE BULLY Information about bullying suggests that there are three interrelated reasons why students bully • Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance • Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to other students. • Students who bully are often rewarded in some way for their behavior with material or psychological rewards.

20. Impact of Bullying A single student who bullies can have a wide-ranging impact on the students they bully, students who observe bullying, and the overall climate of the school and community.

21. Students Who are Bullied Students deserve to feel safe at school. But when they experience bullying, these types of effects can last long into their future: • Depression • Low self-esteem • Health problems • Poor grades • Suicidal thoughts

22. Students Who Bully Others Students who intentionally bully others should be held accountable for their actions. Those who bully their peers are also more likely than those students who do not bully others to: • Get into frequent fights • Steal and vandalize property • Drink alcohol and smoke • Report poor grades • Perceive a negative climate at school • Carry a weapon

23. Observers of Bullying • Students who see bullying happen also may feel that they are in an unsafe environment. Effects may include feeling: • Fearful • Powerless to act • Guilty for not acting • Tempted to participate

24. Schools with Bullying Issues When bullying continues and a school does not take action, the entire school climate can be affected in the following ways: • The school develops an environment of fear and disrespect • Students have difficulty learning • Students feel insecure • Students dislike school • Students perceive that teachers and staff has little control and don't care about them

25. The Bullying Circle

26. Bullying is a Serious Issue Bullying is a Serious Issue • Bullying may vary greatly between schools and school districts, but it is very prevalent: • Statistics show that 23 percent of students in grades 4-6 had been bullied "several times" or more; 20 percent had bullied others (1998 study of 6,500 students in rural South Carolina) • Statistics show that 17 percent of students in grades 6-10 reported having been bullied "sometimes" or more, with 8 percent being bullied once a week. 19 percent said they had been a bully to others "sometimes" or more. (2001 study of 15,000 U.S. students)

27. What Can Allies Do • Refuse to participate and interrupt the behavior • Make sure the bully and victim know you think behavior is wrong • Ignore the bully and invite the victim to walk away with you • Enlist the help of others to stand with you by the victim • Immediately report any bulling incident to authorities

28. Ultimate Consequence of Bullying When people especially youth is pushed to commit suicide due to bullying, it is termed: BULLYCIDE.

30. Suicides in Laredo (2008-2010) Total # of Suicides = 45

31. Suicides in Webb County (2007-2009) Total # of Suicides = 75

32. Difference in Suicide Rates Between Boys and Girls Girls----- think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys, and tend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Boys-----die by suicide about four times as often as girls, perhaps because they tend to use more lethal methods, such as firearms, hanging, or jumping from heights.

33. Rate in Which High School Students Think About Suicide • 18.7 % of female and 10.3% of male high school students have thought of committing suicide. • 7% of all high school students admitted to trying it once. • It is approximated that a teenager commits suicide every 105 minutes. • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 15-24 year olds and the 4th among 10-14 year olds cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/suicide-datasheet

34. What Factors Influence Teen Suicide • Psychological disorders Depression--- bi-polar disorder Anxiety Disorders---- panic attacks Drug and Alcohol Addiction and Dependency Low Self-Esteem • Persistent sadness (generally feeling sad and lonely) • Bullying (being harassed and victimized by peers) • Sexual orientation (sexual identity issues) • Poor self-image (Eating disorders)

35. Why the Significant Impact • Pressure teenagers experience to fit in socially, to perform academically, and to act responsibly typically take its toll on them. There's the awakening of sexual feelings, a growing self-identity, and a need for autonomy that often conflicts with the rules and expectations set by others • A teen with an adequate support network of friends, family, religious affiliations, peer groups, or extracurricular activities may have an outlet to deal with everyday frustrations. But many teens don't believe they have that, and feel disconnected and isolated from family and friends. These teens are at increased risk for suicide.

37. Suicide Warning Signs 8 out of 10 people who commit suicide do not exhibit any signs • Sudden changes in personality • Inability to concentrate • Loss of interest of pleasurable activities • Frequent mood swings accompanied by violent behavior including restlessness and irritability • Talks about suicide or death in general; talks about going away • Subtle comments like “It’s no use” or “My life sucks”. • Problems with sleep

38. Suicide Warning Signs (cont.) • Feelings of hopelessness and pessimism • Overwhelming feelings Shame and Guilt • History of Physical or Sexual Abuse • Dealing with homosexuality in an unsupportive family or community or hostile school environment • Lack of a support network, poor relationships with parents or peers, and feelings of social isolation

39. What Can Be Done to Prevent Teen Suicide There are no proven measures that definitively prevent someone from taking their own life regardless of age. Teens are especially vulnerable to suicidal ideation because their minds are growing and developing and they generally make decisions without thinking about long term consequences. However, there are some things one can do to minimize the possibility of someone committing suicide.

40. Suggested Tips for Preventing Suicide TIP #1 Encourage the person to talk to peers, parents, church representatives, school counselors, or mental health professionals about their suicidal feelings. The first step in encouraging a suicidal person to live comes from talking about feelings. Fears that are shared are more likely to diminish. Remember What to Do Telling someone to “cheer up” can make it seem like you don’t understand. It’s better to listen and don’t discount their feelings.

41. Suggested Tips for Preventing Suicide (cont.) TIP #2 Help facilitate linkages to mental health services for someone you suspect may have a mental illness or has been diagnosed with one. You can help by offering your support and talk to them about seeking help as a start for them to possibly end the pain without attempting suicide. It’s important to follow through and be sure the person stays safe until you can put him or her in contact with a responsible adult or program. Remember What to Do Do not promise to “keep their secret”. That could literally be a deadly secret to keep. It’s more important to get help, even if that means revealing a secret.

42. Suggested Tips for Preventing Suicide (cont.) TIP #3 Discourage the person from turning to drugs or alcohol to deal with their problems and help them adopt healthier coping skills Remember What to Do Do not tell them they are loved by others (you cannot possibly know that), but encourage them to adopt the following protective mechanisms: A responsibility to family Responsibility and love of children in the family Fear of social disapproval Moral objections to suicide Religiosity Social Support

43. Other Measures to Follow in Helping to Prevent Suicide Simply follow Y-CARE • YOU--- You are never alone. You are not responsible for someone who chooses to take their own life. All You can do is listen, support, and assist the person in getting the help they need. • CONNECT ---- the person to resources and to supportive, trusted adults. • ACCEPT--- and listen to the person’s feelings and take them seriously. • RESPOND----- if a person has a plan to attempt suicide and tell someone you trust. • EMPOWER----- the person to get help.

44. What Helps Getting Over a Loved Ones Suicide • Emotional Support: Talk to someone about your feelings like a friend or family member especially someone who has experienced this as well. Seek professional help if necessary. • Reading: Look for answers and gain a better understanding of suicide and the grieving process. • Writing: This is a great therapeutic way for you to explore your feelings in writing by being honest, logical and objective about how you feel.

45. Sexual Identity Issues

46. Sexual Orientation Nature vs. Nurture Modern science has embraced the notion that people are born “gay” and have been working on isolating a “gay gene” that when present pre-determines someone’s sexuality

47. Coming to Terms with Your Sexuality “Feeling Different” at 5 or 6 years of age ---- crushes on same sex friends Most people do not figure out their sexual orientation and identity until they are teenagers or even adults Your emotions, feelings and physical attractions will help tell who you are.

48. Common Terms Gender Continuums Sex (Biological Anatomy) Male……………………………………..Female Gender Identity (Psychological Sense of Self) Man………………………………………Woman Gender Expressions (External Presentations) Masculine………………………………. Feminine Sexual Orientation (Romantic/Erotic Response) Towards Women……………………… Towards Men

49. Identity vs. Expression Gender Identity ---- is how you feel about your sex “I like being a woman; I would not have it any other way” “Inside I know I’m a man, but I have a female body” Gender Expression ---- is how you present those feelings to the world In your clothing, name, mannerisms, career choices, etc.

50. Societal Expectations Sex (Biological Anatomy) Male……………………………………..Female Gender Identity (Psychological Sense of Self) Man………………………………………Woman Gender Expressions (External Presentations) Masculine………………………………. Feminine Sexual Orientation (Romantic/Erotic Response) Towards Women……………………… Towards Men Male Expectations Females Expectations