Interpersonal Attraction

Interpersonal Attraction

Warm-up • Complete Handout 18-16 to the best of your knowledge and initial reactions • Add together your scores for: • 1-4, 5-8, 9-12, 13-16, 17-20, 21-24

D.Pragma (Items 13–16) is a love that goes shopping for a suitable mate. All it asks is that the relationship work well, that the two partners be compatible and satisfy each other’s basic or practical needs. Relationships are based on satisfactory rewards rather than romantic attraction. Mania (Items 17–20) is possessive, dependent love. Lovers are insecure and are fearful of being rejected. Mania is associated with high emotional expressiveness and disclosure, but low self-esteem. The typical manic lover yearns for love, yet anticipates that the relationship will be painful. He or she tries to force the partner into greater expressions of affection. F. Agape (Items 21–24) is all-giving, selfless, nondemanding love. Lovers sacrifice their own interests in favor of their partner’s and give without expecting a reward. They are not happy unless the partner is also happy. Prepared to share all they have, they are vulnerable to exploitation. Eros (Items 1–4) represents passionate love. It focuses strongly on physical attraction and sensual satisfaction. Erotic lovers look for rapidly developing, emotionally intense, intimate relationships. They tend to idealize their lovers and are willing to take risks. Ludus (Items 5–8) is love practiced as a game or pleasant pastime for mutual enjoyment. Love is a series of challenges and puzzles to be solved. This type of lover dates several partners and moves in and out of love affairs quickly and easily. He or she refuses to make long-range plans. Ludus is wary of emotional intensity from others. C. Storge (Items 9–12) is a caring, concerned friendship that is based on similar interests and pursuits. The love is evolutionary and may take time to develop. Lovers desire a long-term relationship based on mutual trust. For those who practice this love, the most appealing aspect of the relationship consists in making a home and raising a family together.

Attraction is the process by which people are drawn to others who appeal to them in a number of ways • Attraction most often leads to friendship or love • Physical appearance does play a big role in attraction

Universals of Beauty • While there is variance between cultures on what is considered attractive, there are some universalities • Nature v. Nurture • Studies have shown that babies look at prettier faces longer

Body Shape • Great variation in what shape people find attractive • Men are more likely than women to find their bodies attractive • Height can be a major determinant in attraction

Pairing Game • Tape the slip of paper on your forehead without looking at the front side • The goal of the game is to pair with the person with the highest possible number • To offer a match simply extend your hand, to refuse shake your head • There is no talking

Similarity • Matching Hypothesis: people tend to choose friends and partners that are similar in attractiveness • People will also choose friends and partners that are similar in age, race, ethnicity, education, religion, and background

Reciprocity • The mutual exchange of feelings or attributes • A major determinant in the building of relationships

Friendship and Love • Friends are people we have affection, respect, and trust for • Love refers to a stronger feelings of mutual attraction, affection, and attachment

Triangular Model of Love • Sternberg identifies 7 types of love relationships: romantic love, liking, companionate love, empty love, fatuous love, infatuation, consummate love • Characterized by: • Intimacy: closeness and caring • Passion: romantic and sexual attraction • Commitment: recognition of mutual feelings and the desire to be together

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Interpersonal Attraction