Interpersonal Communication Skills

1. ES2002 Business Communication Interpersonal Communication Skills

2. What are interpersonal communication skills? • Verbal & non-verbal interactions in one-on-one & small-group settings. • Also known as “people skills or “soft skills”. • Ranked in a survey as the most important requirement for successful job performance. ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

3. Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills • Assertion • Paraphrasing • Feedback • Feedforward • Networking Read supplementary notes on “Giving and Receiving Criticisms” ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

4. Assertion Assertion Submissive Behaviours Assertive Behaviours Aggressive Behaviours Does not express honest feelings, needs, values and concerns May speak softly or hesitatingly Communicates “I don’t matter” Stands up for own rights, expresses personal needs, values, concerns and ideas appropriately Expresses feelings, needs and concerns at others’ expense May speak loudly, may be rude and sarcastic Always concerned with “what I want” Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

5. Assertion Assertion In a packed theatre, the people behind you keep talking in a fairly loud voice, distracting you from the plot and detracting you from your enjoyment of the movie. The theatre is so crowded that you cannot change seats. Response A: You say nothing at all and suffer in silence. Response B: You turn around and say, “Don’t you have any respect for others? If you don’t shut up immediately, I’ll call the manager and have him throw you out of the theatre.” Response C: You turn around, and say in a firm voice, “Can you please stop talking? It is distracting me from my enjoyment of the movie.” Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

6. Three-part assertion message Assertion Use of “I” language in assertion. Behaviour: When you do not let me know you will be late + Feelings: I feel annoyed + Effects: because I am unable to reschedule my timetable. Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

7. Non-judgmental Description of Behaviour Assertion Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

8. Clarification of Tangible Effect Assertion ? ? Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ? ? ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

9. Assertion Disclosure of Feelings • Consider culture • Avoid using value-laden words When you smoke in our small office, I feel abused … Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills I feel annoyed I feel irritated I feel worried I feel embarrassed I feel upset I feel hurt I feel disappointed I feel anxiousI feel unfairly treated I feel uncomfortable Which of these are you comfortable with? ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

10. Non-disclosure of Feelings Assertion How do you feel about this? Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

11. Assertion Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

12. Paraphrasing Paraphrasing A paraphrase is a concise response to the speaker which states the essence of the other’s content in the listener’s own words. Jamie: I don’t know whether to have a baby or not. George isn’t sure either. I love my work … it’s stimulating and challenging and I’m well-paid. But sometimes I yearn to have a child and be a full-time mother. Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills Kim: I understand what you’re saying. You enjoy your work so much, but sometimes you feel a strong pull toward motherhood. ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

13. Paraphrasing Paraphrasing • Re-state sender’s message in your own words to show your desire to understand the sender. • So, you’re saying that … • Let me just see if I’ve understood you correctly … • Pitch your response appropriately to suit the sender’s mood. Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills

14. Feedforward Feedforward Feedback – after message is sent. Feedforward – before main message is sent. Why feedforward? • When message might offend receiver or reflect badly on you, e.g. “I don’t mean to be difficult but …” • When you want to prepare receiver for your message. Techniques for Effective Interpersonal Skills ES2002 Business Communication: Interpersonal Communication Skills