Elaboration

1. Elaboration

2. What is elaboration? • Telling the reader more by using specific words, extensions (phrases and clauses), onion-like layering, or specific strategies. • Showing rather than telling.

3. Types of elaboration

4. Most Important Type of Elaboration • Evidence: text based details “using quotes directly from the text” to support the overall thesis or claim in a piece of writing. • Commentary: explanation of the way the facts, details and/or examples in a paragraph or essay support the topic sentence.

5. Other types of… ELABORATION STRATEGIES: As we go along, please copy the “definition” of each strategy next to the term given in your writing notes (focus on the blue text).

6. Examples • Provide specific information about an idea • Common transition words to use: for example, for instance • Demonstrates what you mean • Defines the main topic of paragraph

7. For Example • For example, he constantly goes through my video games without permission and never puts them away, leaving them spread out like litter on the floor. Also, he bites me for no reason leaving deep puncture marks.

8. Descriptions • Are ways to create vivid images for the reader (5 senses). • Paints a picture in our head • Think imagery

9. Description Example • The coffee hung on his breath like fog on a Seattle morning, that burnt rubber smell burnt my nostrils and tickled my taste buds all at the same time.

10. TRUE Statistics and TRUE Facts WITH EVIDENCE • Numbers (data) and information that help support your thesis or claim. • Cannot be fake (must be real) • RESEARCH BASED • TEXT BASED EVIDENCE

11. Fact Example: Add what is needed to your example paragraph. • A recent magazine article that I read, The Truth about Smoking, written by Dr. Paul Reskin stated: “Almost a quarter of high school students are smokers by the time they graduate. And roughly one third of all teenage smokers will eventually have a smoking related disease.”

12. REAL Quotations • Words that someone says that can help support your idea or argument. • Cannot be fake (must be real) • Use quotation marks correctly.

13. For Example • “If you break it, you’ll be buying a new one,” she yells. Then she goes on to say, “…if I hear it again, you’ll be grounded.”

14. Anecdotes (self-story: STORY ABOUT “ME”) • Short personal stories inserted into an essay that help develop a thesis or claim. • Make it interesting • The only time writing could be fake (why? Because we won’t know if it is really true or not)

15. Anecdote Example: • I even remember a time when there were so many people jam-packed in the hall, that a friend of mine got pushed down and hurt her hand. Another time I was almost hit in the face by a door because there was nowhere to move out of the way.

16. Definitions • Are restatements of unfamiliar words or phrases to tell what they mean. • Can use a dictionary – make sure to write as a sentence • Or if it is something only you know about, you define it.

17. Definition example • In my sport, soccer, a select team practices year round and competes in tournaments all over the region. You must try out to be on a select team, meaning it is made up of only the best, most premier players.

18. In your “Cornell notes” section add this: • E: Evidence examples • 5: Use of Sensory (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch) • S: Statistics and facts • Q: quotes • A: Anecdotes • D: Descriptions, details, definitions

19. My Own Example: It always rains in Seattle… • Now you write elaborations for the prompt above. Be unique! • Be ready to share one tomorrow. • Evidence Example: • Komo4 News provides great weather reports, but I can imagine they get bored always saying, “It always rains in Seattle.”