Documenting and Embedding Evidence

1. Documenting and Embedding Evidence

2. Essay Examples • What did these writers do well?

3. Do Now: • Compare your score to the AP rubric. • Write yourself some feedback: • One thing you did well • One thing you need to work on • Highlight your textual evidence • Highlight a counter-argument

4. Embedding Examples from “Address to President Grant” This is what most of you did:

5. Too Much Quotation Chief Red Cloud uses pathos to appeal to President Grant’s sympathy. “You have children. We, too, have children and we wish to bring them up well. We ask you to help us do it.” • What part is the commentary? • What part is the concrete detail?

6. Class Example • CM: Chief Red Cloud uses pathos to appeal to President Grant’s sympathy. • CD: “You have children. We, too, have children and we wish to bring them up well. We ask you to help us do it.”

7. Rule: • You should always have more commentary than concrete detail in your essay.

8. Rule: • For every quotation you use, you must have at least one sentence that elaborates upon that sentence.

9. Suggestion: • Ideally, you have one that leads up to the CD, and then another one after that elaborates upon it. • Ex: In order to align himself with his audience, Chief Red Cloud uses ethos to address Grant and the others with a sense of familiarity. By referring to his audience from the onset of his speech as “Brothers” and “Friends,” Chief Red Cloud establishes a sense of camaraderie that will persuade the United States government to view the Native Americans as peaceful compatriots.

10. Steps to Embedding a Quotation • Chief Red Cloud uses pathos to appeal to President Grant’s sympathy. “You have children. We, too, have children and we wish to bring them up well. We ask you to help us do it.” • 1) Which part of the quotation above is most important to support Chief Red Cloud’s purpose?

11. Steps continued… • Does any part of the quote need to be altered for clarity? • Use only the specific parts of the quote chosen to smoothly work it into your own sentence. This time, we’ll use the “analysis” strategy.

12. Quotation Example Original Quote: • Chief Red Cloud uses pathos to appeal to President Grant’s sympathy. “You have children. We, too, have children and we wish to bring them up well. We ask you to help us do it.” • Which part or phrase of the quote is most important? • Do we need to change any part of the quote for clarity? • Clarify pronouns? • Identify characters? • Change tense? • Try to embed the quotation on your own.

13. Quotation Example Original:Chief Red Cloud uses pathos to appeal to President Grant’s sympathy. “You have children. We, too, have children and we wish to bring them up well. We ask you to help us do it.” Changed: Chief Red Cloud uses pathos to appeal to President Grant’s sympathy. By using the word “children,” Chief Red Cloud relates himself to Grant and “ask[s]” for his “help” by evoking the innocence of childhood and pointing out the similarities between the two communities.

14. Practice • Using either a part of your returned timed writing or your What is An American? Draft, try this skill.